Title: When All Is Said And Done
Author: XV
Fandom: Star Trek Voyager
Pairing: Captain Janeway and Seven of Nine
Rating: PG-13
Dedication: This story is dedicated to all my fellow Janeway/Seven fanatics, especially the crew of the Voyager Conspiracy Forum, you kids are crazy...and I love you for it.
And I would especially like to thank the wonderful and talented Patrica L Givens, for too many reasons to mention, but most especially for her sharing her talent and skill as a writer and for inspiring fun and creativity in so many others including myself, as I've said before, "Hot Damn Woman You Can Write!" Love ya OGO!
A/N 1: This is a bit of a songfic, inspired by the rendition of the Abba song, When All is Said and Done (Benny Andersson/Bjorn Ulvaeus), but as it is performed in the film Mama Mia. I loved the gentler version in this and something about the scene really struck me as being perfect for an older incarnation of Kathryn and Seven. And I had to keep the setting of Mama Mia as well, it's just so beautiful, I love the Mediterranean.
A/N 2: I have diverged from canon on two essential points, there is no Cortical inhibitor preventing Seven from feeling deep emotions and the relationship she develops with Chakotay is that of good friends only, this means that Admiral Janeway describes Seven's death slightly differently, as she does not marry Chakotay in that time line either.
Disclaimer: Everything belongs to whoever owns Star Trek, lucky sods. The characters etc. aren't mine but I'd sure as hell put in a bid if they ever came up for sale. No profit, yadda, yadda, if TPTB didn't know what to do with the characters they should have consulted the Rabid Lesbian Horde, yadda, jabber, rhubarb, I dare ya to sue me I'd love to read femslash smut out loud in court. Pfffftt!
Prologue
The sun shone brightly, glinting off the swells of the azure waves. The gentle breeze held the scent of the salt spray and the freshness of the pine trees dotted along the path leading up the nearby hill. One or two ancient wooden fishing boats bobbed gently in the harbour, seemingly at ease beside the unusually large number of more modern hover skiffs that shared the cove with them. In the distance another skiff appeared and headed for the short jetty, easily slipping into the last available mooring point.
Fleet Admiral Kathryn Janeway stood and gathered her one travel bag before alighting from the skiff and heading up the jetty toward the shore, a manoeuvre that she made fairly easily despite the need to favour her left leg as she walked. Eagerly she sought the coolness promised by the harbour's only building, a stone terrace with a densely vine covered trellis. Once there she took the opportunity to run her fingers through her snow white hair, attempting to put some order back into her windblown locks. Looking around to see if anyone was there to meet her, all she saw was the empty path leading up the hill and not a soul in sight.
Deciding to take the opportunity presented, she rummaged in her bag and brought out a leather carry case. Opening it, she extracted a small mirror and hairbrush and fixed her hair properly. Looking at her reflection she gave a rueful half smile as she thought, "Not bad for an old broad. Not bad at all," and then gave a small snort mocking her own vanity.
But her estimation was indeed the truth. At the age of 65, Kathryn Janeway was a fine figure of a woman, her body still trim and nicely muscled, the softening and roundness that often comes with age only mildly discernable. Her face wore the years well, remaining remarkably smooth, save for the well-earned lines and crow's feet around the eyes and mouth, of someone accustomed to both stress and laughter. The well tailored uniform, her dress whites, suited her to a T, flattering her figure perfectly and sitting well with her natural aura of command. She was a true testament to the benefits of an active Starfleet life, and she felt smugly vindicated in her choice to remain a Captain for those first 15 years after Voyager had returned to the Alpha Quadrant.
A sound in the distance caught her attention and she moved out into the road way. Shading her eyes, she was able to see a small open carriage making its way down the sloping road toward her. As it got closer she could make out the figure guiding the horse from the driver's seat and her breath caught in her throat. The driver sat perfectly straight but not rigidly and guided the horse's actions with a graceful economy of movement. Short blonde hair framed the elegant face but failed to hide the glint of the sun shining off the silver metal over her left eye.
"Seven," Kathryn murmured as her hand dropped to her side and she took a single step toward her destiny, the destiny she had taken 24 years to be ready for and accept. As she continued to stand there in the dust of the road, she began to tremble and her thoughts flew back over the past 20 years to the last time she had been face to face with Seven of Nine.
Chapter One
Captain Janeway looked around her searching for the small glass figurine, once she had secured it in the stasis section she could seal the crate and that would be the end of her packing. She knew it was here somewhere she'd seen it only a few moments ago when she was putting the last of her framed holo-images away. Ah, that was it, she got up and went into her bedroom, and there it was, she'd had it in her hand when she was gathering the photos and hadn't been able to manage everything all at once. Grabbing it up she headed back into her living room just as the chime sounded at her door.
"Come," she said as she bent down to close the cargo crate.
Straightening she was greeted by the lithe form of her former Astrometrics officer, Seven of Nine, as she made her way into the room.
"Seven, what a surprise, I thought I was the only one who needed to return to Voyager for their things. "
"You are correct Captain, I have already moved my alcove and belongings to the quarters assigned to me at Starfleet Headquarters. I came to see you."
Seven looked around her at the five large packing cases littering the central part of the living area and raised her eyebrow in surprise.
"These are all yours Captain?"
Giving an amused chuckle the red head replied, "We were in the Delta Quadrant a long time, things just seem to have accumulated. And Seven, it's Kathryn now, remember?"
Glancing at Seven she wondered what the woman would say if she knew that these crates were only about half the possessions she had gathered during her time on Voyager. The things that she couldn't bear to part with, gifts and keepsakes accrued over seven weary years of exile. She looked at one of the boxes in particular, knowing that it was filled exclusively with mementos of the lovely woman standing next to it. A small piece of her original Borg armour, the first vase she had sculpted without any assistance, the first birthday gift she had given Kathryn only 2 years previously, the small glass statuette she had just packed that Seven had acquired for her on shore leave once, a recording of Seven playing the piano and singing at one of Neelix's talent nights, and her greatest treasure, the painting that Seven had given her on her last birthday.
"I was just about to have a coffee break, can I get you anything? "
"Yes, I will have a peppermint tea. With a little honey please."
Kathryn, who had been heading for the replicator, stopped dead in her tracks and looked at Seven in confusion, this was the first time the young woman had ever accepted her offer of refreshment. She always made the offer, her mother's training on manners was just too ingrained for her to escape, but she had long ago given up expectation of an affirmative response from her guest.
Recovering from her surprise she retrieved a mug of coffee for herself and one of tea for Seven. Carrying them over to the couch, she handed Seven her tea and waved to the sofa, smiling when the usual phrase of "I prefer to stand," was replaced by Seven neatly settling herself on the sofa, mug in hand.
"Well I suppose it had to happen eventually," Kathryn chuckled as she took a sip of her coffee.
"What had to happen, Kathryn?" Seven asked as she sipped her own drink, savouring the sound of the other woman's name on her lips more than the sweetness of the tea.
"You, accepting an offer of something to drink," waving at her seated position, "and sitting without a declaration that you prefer to stand."
Frowning, the young woman placed her mug on the coffee table and concentrated on the woman now seated next to her on the sofa. She wondered if the Captain realised that this was the first time in nearly five months that she and Seven had actually been in a social situation that might require such a response from her. Before those five months the social interaction between the two women had slowly dwindled to almost nothing. The twice weekly velocity matches, frequent late night discussions, numerous hours shared in the Maestro's studio and at least 2 shared meals in the week had given way one thing at a time until their off duty interaction comprised nothing more than the odd greeting while passing in the corridor or stilted attempts at small talk during larger crew celebrations.
This withdrawal had left Seven hurt and confused, wondering how she had so displeased the Captain, that she no longer wished to spend any of her free time together. She searched her eidetic memory again and again trying to pinpoint her failing, but to no avail. She tried approaching the Captain, hoping that she would explain the problem so that Seven could rectify the failure and once again please her enough to be included in her regular social activities. But the Captain always put her off with claims that she was unavailable, tired, or otherwise engaged .
The situation was particularly difficult for Seven as she had become accustomed to having regular social interaction, not just with Janeway, but with others in the crew through Janeway. When that avenue to even limited acceptance had been removed the young woman found, much to her own surprise that she had no desire to return to the isolation she had experienced during her first year on Voyager. The tried and true mantra of 'I am Borg, I will adapt,' was no longer sufficient to her very human need for companionship. So this time she decided to 'adapt' in the direction of her humanity rather than her Borgness, and made a concerted effort to socialise more with various crewmembers, especially those on the command staff who she was already reasonably comfortable interacting with on a professional level.
She had started slowly, by taking at least two of her meals in the mess hall each day and making sure that she sat toward the middle of the room rather than at a table in a corner. At first it was only Neelix that noted this change in Seven's routine and made an effort to engage the young woman in conversation. As the days passed, he would spend longer talking to her and Seven began to relax as she realised that he was in fact a very kind individual, and that, taken in reasonably small doses, he was rather interesting as well. Then Neelix started suggesting to other members of the crew that they should volunteer to join Seven for her meals. He seemed to sense that Seven was finally, trying to reach out, and he wanted to help her in any way he could.
The first to take Neelix's advice was Commander Chakotay, and he joined Seven for lunch one day. At first their conversation was a bit forced, Seven still being unsure how to begin small talk and Chakotay struggling and reaching for topics of conversation that might interest the young woman. The ice finally broke between them when Seven, having interrupted Chakotay with a rather severe comment, stopped and apologised for her dismissive tone and then explained that her response had been prompted by her embarrassment for her lack of knowledge in the area he was commenting upon. The apology had taken Chakotay by surprise to be sure, but it was the follow up explanation of her behaviour that truly allowed him to finally see the shy and uncertain person that Seven was underneath her cool Borg exterior. At last he could see what the Captain had always known was there and he was a little ashamed of having allowed his feelings for the Collective to cloud his judgement of Seven.
With Chakotay now befriending her, Seven found new and regular social interactions opening up for her that hadn't been available when it was Captain Janeway who had been her only connection to the crew. She began to realise that the Captain's detachment from the crew, required by her position, had been impacting on her own relationship with crew members. Now that she was making her own way, the crew were more open to her and were more likely to be themselves around her rather than reining themselves in because the Captain was there as well. And Seven, freed from the constraint of wanting to appear perfect in front of the woman she so admired, found that she was more willing to admit her mistakes, express her doubts and uncertainties and to ask people for help to understand the complexities of social interaction.
Even as her social skills blossomed she was constantly reminded of how much she had learned from her Captain, as indeed were those she socialised with, her conversation was peppered with regular statements such as, "The Captain says...", "Captain Janeway believes...", "I wonder if the Captain would agree with that...", and many more along the same lines.
In private moments, often after a staff meeting, she wished that she could share her new experiences with the Captain. She found herself wondering if Janeway would be impressed by her progress and she realised how much she still sought to please the fiery red-head. Seven recognised that as full as her life was becoming, at her core there was a bone deep loneliness, an aching emptiness that she knew only Kathryn Janeway could fill. And what's more she knew that she wanted only Janeway to fill that space, that somewhere along their journey she had fallen in love with her Captain. But identifying the feelings and knowing what to do about them, were two very different things, especially as she firmly believed, as their ongoing estrangement indicated, that Captain Janeway couldn't possibly return her love.
The one exception to Janeway's withdrawal from Seven had been six weeks earlier when Seven had been seriously injured during a surprise attack by a group of scavenging pirates. She had been working in a Jeffries tube very close to the outer hull when the area took a direct hit and she had been severely injured. The next thing Seven remembered after the blast was waking up in sickbay to find Captain Janeway holding her hand and looking down at her with a haggard and tear streaked face and her heart leapt at the show of loving emotion on the older woman's face.
When the Captain saw that the young woman had opened her eyes, she had let out a strangled gasp and pulled Seven's hand up to rest against her chest, as new tears spilled over and ran down her cheeks. Seven tried to speak, to assure her Captain that she was fine and would soon be well again, but the older woman gently shushed her and merely stroked the hair from her face. Seven found the movement incredibly soothing and even though she would have preferred to continue looking into the blue-gray eyes so full of affection, she had reluctantly drifted back to sleep.
When Seven had next wakened the Captain was gone and she wondered if perhaps she had imagined the whole thing. To her great relief, the Doctor confirmed that the Captain had indeed been there earlier and further, that she had been at Seven's side for almost the whole 3 days that the blonde had been unconscious. Remembering the play of emotions on the older woman's face, Seven was anxious to see the Captain as soon as possible to seek clarification and confirmation of what she now believed were Janeway's true feelings. But the Doctor was adamant that she needed to regenerate immediately and that the cycle needed to be at least 48 hours in duration. Reluctantly Seven had complied with the Doctor's instructions, taking the time before starting the cycle, to send the Captain an invitation to join her on the Holodeck after her next duty shift. Little did she know that invitation would be lost among the unexpected events that were about to engulf Voyager with the arrival of the time travelling Admiral Janeway.
Seven continued to look at Kathryn as the older woman sipped her coffee and made no attempt to say anything, merely waiting for Seven to tell her why she had come to see her. The blonde woman was carefully searching her companions features looking for some sign, some indication that this was the same woman she had seen in Sick Bay all those weeks ago, the woman who, according to the Captain's future self, Admiral Janeway, was deeply in love with her Astrometrics officer .
