I own nothing.

Chapter One: The Arrival

Suigetsu, Haku, Chojuro and I are stuck in a cave. There's a bitch of a thunderstorm going on outside.

Ninjin is there, too, but he doesn't count.

All of us are bored. Suigetsu tried telling us a ghost story, but he sucked at it and we're all pretty hard to scare.

"I'm boooored," Ninjin whines. "It's cold. I'm hungry. Summon me a friend, you sucky summoner!"

"No," I shoot him down ruthlessly.

The little critter sniffs and turns away, loppy ears drooping in fake sadness. He wipes at his eyes.

Haku gives me a reproachful look with his sad, sad eyes.

"3, 2, 1," Suigetsu counts.

"Okay fine!" I throw my arms up. "Kuchiyose no Jutsu!"

A puff of smoke. All of us stare.

"Uhm…" Chojuro finally utters.

"The fuck is that?" Suigetsu demands.

"Oh shit not him!" Ninjin cries.

I hide my face in my hands. "Why me?"

"How fascinating," Haku says serenely. I peer through my fingers and see Haku gently stroking the… thing. Its shape is generally that of a rabbit, but it's made of paper, and letters are travelling all over its paper fur.

"You idiot summoner!" Ninjin shouts. "You've summoned the Plot Bunny!"


A/N: So now it's gotten to the point that I write fanfiction for my own fanfiction. Yay. I'm such a weirdo.