Yes, I'm back. Sort of.

I'm not saying anything this time… just read

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You're welcome

She stared at the cell phone in her hand. One name was on the display. Should she try again? She lost count of the times she had tried to contact him. Her fingertip softly touched the call button. Shaking her head she moved it and pressed another one. The display went blank. No, this was stupid, he would not answer.

It had been over a month since she had last tried calling. She had sworn it was the last time. And there she was, tempted once again.

What if this time he did answer? What if….

Yes, she would do this. Who knows, maybe it was her lucky day.

Slowly but determined, she run again through the name list on her phone and she found the one name she often lingered on. Holding her breath and closing her eyes, she finally pressed the call button.

Who knew that pressing such a little button would take so much effort?

She knew he would not answer. He never did. She started counting the rings. Five rings and she would hang up as always. One. Two.

"Booth."

Her heart stopped when she heard his voice. It was fast and low, like he had hurried to answer quickly. She was caught off guard, she never really expected him to actually answer her call, he never did before. Now what?

Her mouth opened but words refused to come out.

"Hello?" asked the man, confused at only hearing her labored breathing.

She'd better say something or he would hang up and all this would have been for nothing.

"If this is a joke I swear I'll-"

"Seeley…" she finally managed to breathe.

She heard the sharp intake of breath on the other end of the line and realized that he most definitely did not pick up on purpose. Most likely he just didn't look at the caller ID. Maybe he was in a hurry. She knew this was her one and only chance. And the fact that he didn't hang up right away was a good sign.

"How are you?" Was all she managed to say. Good job, you asked the stupidest question ever, she scolded herself.

"Good." Was the most predictable answer.

She really tried to think of something to say. This was ridiculous, she had wanted him to answer for months and now that he did she didn't know what to say to him.

"I… I tried calling you."

"Yes… I…" She could picture him almost blushing with embarrassment.

"I know." She helped him "I just wanted to know how… how you were doing."

"I'm… doing ok, thanks." His voice was low and almost toneless, but she could hear that the call was affecting him as much as herself. She heard him swallow. "How about you?"

"I'm fine… I got a job in New York."

"I thought you were somewhere in the other half of the world" he snickered.

She thought that maybe he wanted to tried to make a joke, maybe to lighten the mood, but it didn't really come out great. It sounded more like… resentment?

"No, I… I never went back there."

"Good…" he sighed, not really able to find a topic of conversation either.

She knew it, this call was going nowhere. Although… there was one thing she wanted to say and she knew it wouldn't be a good idea… But… What if she said it? What if…

"I miss you" She blurted out.

She heard another intake of breath. She shouldn't have said it. The thought of hanging up crossed quickly her mind but she rejected it.

She waited for him to say something, anything. She waited for this agony to be over.

Suddenly a cry shattered the silence, a baby's cry near the other end of the line. She heard movement and gentle whispering of words she couldn't hear. The call was still on and after a while the cry subsided.

"Booth?"

She felt her stomach painfully twist at the familiar voice in the distance as she made the connection. She already suspected that, she wasn't an idiot after all, but now she knew without a doubt that calling was a mistake. But maybe, just maybe, she could now be able to let it all go without the usual what-ifs that had tormented her since that night.

"Look, I'm sorry but I have to hang up…" he whispered nervously.

She was so deep in her thoughts that she jumped as he came back on the phone.

"I understand, I need to go too." she tried to come out with some of her dignity intact. "Goodbye Seeley."

Just as she was about to hang up he spoke again.

"Hannah…"

She paused "Yes?"

He swallowed hard "I wanted to thank you."

Her eyes widened. She did not expect that. "Thank me? For what?"

He hesitated. "For…" he sighed in defeat "Well, thank you for calling."

"You're welcome." She breathed "Bye Seeley. Be happy."

The line went dead as she hung up.

Her breathing was irregular, her heart was racing, her hand was squeezing her cell phone like her life depended on it.

She knew that was definitely not why he wanted to thank her, but she thought she knew the reason and it made her heart physically hurt. She was not angry at him, even if maybe she should have been. She was hurt. And that kind of hurt didn't just go away that easily.

She was happy for him and for how things turned up well… She really was. Deep in her heart she knew, even when they were together she knew, where his heart really was. She just hoped and wished that it was a temporary thing and that she could change that with time.

She really wanted to believe that they weren't over yet. She still wanted them to have a chance.

She regretted her decision that night, she regretted it more than anything. If she had known what his reaction would have been, she could have accepted. She didn't lie, though. She never wanted to get married, she was against it, always had been. But for him, she would have. If the alternative was to lose him forever, she would have become his bride. She just didn't think he would cut her out of his life like that. Well, apparently she did him a favor. A pretty big one, too.

She had waited for him and meanwhile he had moved on. Not long afterwards, if she dared to say it.

Now it was her turn to try and move on. Maybe this was the purpose of that call. No more waiting. Maybe she should give that cute guy from work a shot instead of always turning him down. She deserved it. And maybe, just maybe, he did her a favor too. But that only time will tell.

No, that call wasn't useless. It was painful and awkward, sure, but not useless at all. Now she knew and knowing is so much better than not knowing. Even if it hurt like hell.

She would finally be free. Free from the what-ifs, free to live her own life and let him live his. Free to be happy as he is.

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Well…

Thank you if you read this, I really hope you enjoyed it, it's really important to me if you did.

If you want to let me know what you thought of this, feel free to do it. Anything at all.

Thanks as always to my lovely Shiny Shin for her beta-work and first feedback.