Reflections

By zeilfanaat

Category: Drama

Ratings: K, G

Warning: none

Disclaimer: Stargate: SG-1 is not mine. No infringement intended. Any characters that are not from the series or the movie, are mine.

Spoilers: "Chain Reaction", "Meridian", "Redemption (1)", "Fallen", Season 8&9 for promotions. (Though to be honest, I haven't seen season 9).

Summary: Some reflections before the New Year starts.

A/N: I would have posted this earlier, but the idea only came to me… well, the night itself, I suppose. It may become slightly dark, but it will lighten up again, I promise. On another note, this story has not been beta-read, so any mistakes you'll find are mine. Please let me know so I can correct them. Thanks Jennifer for catching those two mistakes!


Time to reflect on last year and think ahead to the next; that's what New Year's Eve is all about. At least, according to Doctor Daniel Jackson. That's what he told me, before he ascended. New Year wasn't quite the same at that time. Daniel Jackson wasn't present, Jonas Quinn was.

The year after was even weirder, I suppose, with Daniel trying to reflect on a missing year. At least it gave him more time to think eagerly of what the next year could bring, and less time to wallow on what could have been. After time of course, he did remember most of the things that had happened before his ascension, but at that time, all he really knew was that the members of SG-1 were friends, and that he'd slowly get his memory back.

It may have come as a bit of a surprise to me when Doctor Jackson decided to join Teal'c with his Kel'no'reem. Before, those two were friends, sure, but there had always been a distance between them. Now, they seemed to have closed the distance, or at least made it distinctly smaller. Perhaps the death of Teal'c's wife has brought them closer, gave them common ground. Or perhaps the increased time they spent together in those Kel'no'reem sessions have helped them cross that bridge.

It still is rather strange to see, though when one thinks about it, it's stranger still that there weren't more significant distances between all the members of SG-1. Especially seeing as they all have such strong characters. But I'm guessing that's what's made SG-1 so strong. And it's been a long time, in which much has happened, and much has changed. Ranks, to name one.

Beside the obvious promotions, Teal'c too made a change there, as he has joined the ranks of the Free Jaffa. Can't blame him; they are his people, and it's what has been his motivation since the beginning, though it may have been put on the backburner for a while. It doesn't mean he wouldn't join us and help out with a situation, if we asked him to. We needn't even ask; if he'd be aware of any situation on Earth that would benefit from his presence, he'd be on his way before we had a chance to ask.

Now of course, the inseparable team has scattered all over the galaxy, though most are still stationed on Earth, travelling to distant planets, much as they used to do.

Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter for one. I know she misses her father. So do I, though I may not say it out loud very often. Maybe I will… someday. She would appreciate it, I'm sure. Might even help her a bit. Especially since she left this Pete-person. I may not have liked the guy, but it did mean she wasn't alone. At least looking after Cassandra Fraiser has helped her focus, as well as throwing herself into her job.

Yet another missing person, aside from Jacob Carter, is Doctor Janet Fraiser. She too is sorely missed, not only by me, but by the entire group, the entire base really. Though if you were to be specific, SG-1, the original SG-1, would be counted among Doctor Fraiser's group of close friends who miss her most.

Many more people I've lost, most of those being under my command. It's inevitable in our line of work, more so even when you take into account that the SGC is the world's first line of defence against the rest of the galaxy, and beyond. It's not something one gets used to, losing good people in battle, and I will personally never trust anyone who is no longer affected by it. Perhaps that is one of the reasons why I trust the person sitting next to me. Because no matter how often he has lost, or has had to kill people, innocents even, I can see each and every one of them affects him. Some of course more deeply, but he regrets every waste of life.

It is one of the things in which we can relate to each other, more so than I can to most other officers, even commanding ones. We both regret losing another life, and will avoid it as long as possible, but we know when it is inevitable. When it is absolutely necessary, we will summon the order which will cost innocent lives, and which will gnaw at our conscience, and adds another log onto the stack of guilt. And at the SGC it happens more often than at most other commands.

For a moment, my thoughts fall silent, as I look at the fireplace, where a small fire is happily licking at the wood. My gaze slides to the face of my companion. His eyes are fixed on the fire as well, though his thoughts are faraway.

A phone rings, and my eyes drift over to the clock, as I listen absentmindedly to this side of the conversation. It's not time yet.

"No, not yet… you do know you're at least an hour earlier, right?" The amusement shines through his voice, causing me to look at his eyes, which were so dark with remembrances earlier. Now they're positively shining with affection.

"Yes, early. I'll call you later on. I'm assuming you're not going to sleep just yet?" He chuckles, and I can imagine the answer he's getting. "Didn't think so. Talk to you in about thirty then. Bye Cass."

He sits back down after he shut off the phone, and grins. I grin back. Less than an hour ago I had a similar conversation with my granddaughters, who are staying with their other grandparents this week. I guess I should re-explain them the concept of time difference.

We settle back in our silence. Despite the loss of my wife, whom I still miss dearly every day, I know I am a lucky man. I have a happily married daughter, a good son-in-law, two of the greatest grandchildren, good friends, nice pay for someone in the Air Force, and something I've started valuing all the more since I took command of the SGC, freedom.

Again I look at the clock. We're almost there now. I glance aside. He noticed too. He's filling up the two glasses that stand on the small table between us, solitarily waiting for this particular moment. We pick up one glass each, and turn back to the wall above the fireplace, and wait.

When the big hand moves to the twelve, we toast; remembering our lost loved ones, and hoping for another year of freedom and safety. We know not what our future brings, but we'll stand and meet it face to face.

"Happy New Year George."

"Happy New Year Jack."

The two men lift their glasses in acknowledgement and smile.

Time to reflect on last year and think ahead to the next; that's what New Year's Eve is all about, according to Daniel Jackson. Doing it with someone you trust and call your friend is infinitely better.

The End


A/N: Happy New Year to all of you. I hope you'll all be safe and healthy, and wish you the courage to get through 2007, as well as the happiness that accompanies it - zeilfanaat

P.S. You probably have guessed already, but just in case the show isn't all that familiar to you, it was General George Hammond whose thoughts you read. And that's all you're going to get from me, unless you ask.