Regulus knew that in a few hours he would be dead. He wandered throughout the house looking over everything one last time. Thank goodness his mother was out visiting her sister, otherwise she would have noticed something was wrong. He gave a final glance to the parlor, the dining room, the ballroom, and finally the nursery. It felt strange seeing where his life had basically started and knowing that it would end in a few hours. A picture of two young black-haired boys playing with model dragons and centaurs flashed through his head.
Sirius had been on the right side. That didn't mean he was right, far from it, in Regulus' mind. But his older brother had been right about the Dark Lord. Regulus walked without thinking and found himself in Sirius' old room. He collapsed on the bed and began to cry.
"Come home Siri!" he cried out. He desperately wanted someone to talk to. Someone who would understand what he was doing. "I need you big brother" he shouted at the Gryffindor banner above the bed. He needed his big brother back. Just for that evening he would have given anything to have Sirius back in the house. He couldn't stand his brother most of the time but he longed for him at this moment. He wanted someone who knew him around, someone who was on the right side, someone with principles who wasn't going to advise him just to run.
He couldn't run, his high moral standard told him that Voldemort must be killed, and he had to do his part. He thought of the screams of the Muggles and Muggleborns he had helped kill. Every scream seemed to tell him to kill Voldemort. He had to do it. And with no big brother around he had to do it on his own. Not that he would have wanted Sirius to come along anyways. He just wanted to talk to him before he gave up his life that night.
He went over to Sirius' desk and pulled out some parchment and proceeded to write a letter that he knew his brother would never get. He charmed it so that none but Sirius could ever open it. He felt better, it gave him closure to have communicated his thoughts to someone, even if was just an empty page addressed to the person he wished most to be there.
"Why? Why did you have to leave me?" He asked of the air. Things would have been better with a big brother by his side to help and advise him. With a start Regulus realized that Sirius had tried to advise him, but he hadn't listened, but then neither had Sirius when Regulus had tried to advise him. He smiled at how totally alike and yet totally opposed he and his brother were. In the end, he mused, we both ended up fighting for the same side. He sighed and then went to Sirius' bureau. He took out one of the crimson and gold ties that had escaped his mother's wrath and replaced it with the letter. He was determined to take a bit of his brother with him to his death.
Regulus was only nineteen and he felt the need for some small comforting and familiar object to take to his death. After all Kreacher would apparate home and leave him there alone, to become the prey of the Inferi, this was his will, and for once Regulus was very happy that Kreacher was a house-elf and bound by their strict magic of subservience. If Kreacher had been free as Regulus hoped he would one day be, then he knew Kreacher would throw himself into the haunted lake with him. But he couldn't, someone had to live on and destroy the Horcrux. And there was no one Regulus had ever trusted as much as his loyal elf Kreacher, no one except Sirius, and that had been a long time ago.
"Goodbye Siri" Regulus said chokingly as he left the room, enchanting it so that nothing could be removed by his mother. It was his final act of goodwill towards his brother. He closed the door and found Kreacher looking up at him with his keen eyes.
"You miss mean master Sirius?" the elf questioned in disbelief.
"Yes Kreacher, yes I do."
"I do not understand, but what right does Kreacher have to try and understand the thoughts of his master?"
"You have every right to try and do it, you're more human than most humans Kreacher."
"Master is too good, far too good."
Regulus just smiled, it had never done any good trying to argue with Kreacher.
