Reflecting on My Naval Service

Kaigun-Daisa Hikigaya Hachiman

When you think of Naval service, you think of glorious patriotism. And this idealistic patriotism causes nothing but death.

Those of you who believe in dutifully serving your country, jumping at any chance to go to war, are ignorant of the truth. Why do you have to serve the country? Why is your country in a position where it is at war? In truth, there would be no need for service if your country did not fail in negotiating peace.

The past has shown us that patriotism is flawed. From the samurai, who committed honour driven suicide rather than finding a way to solve their issues. To the officers of the IJN, who encouraged pilots to commit suicide rather than survive and to regain strength. It caused people to commit horrific acts of savagery in the name of the Empire. The world grew sick of our patriotism. And we were forced to pay a large price for our fanaticism.

You may argue that patriotism is necessary to build up a country, to have like minded people be aware that there is a common people to fight for. But that is childish. No more than an excuse to justify whatever crimes you've committed. And in the aforementioned cases, nothing more than an excuse to run away from actual responsibility.

Like youth, where every small mistake and crime will just be stated as "misadventures of youth." We are encouraged to make mistakes. Is it any wonder then, that patriotism is glorified by the youth? Where patriotism is in essence correcting the mistakes that the country makes?

And to not partake in this is seen as a problem. Not jumping at the chance solve the mistakes of others is seen as troubling and weak.

And this baits the weak minded youth into their early deaths. And those who are left have to deal with the original problem and the new problem of dead soldiers.

True patriotism is following a path in which these problems never occur in the first place.

In conclusion, I am truly patriotic by refusing to sink to the level of active combat when all problems can be solved logistically.


Chapter 1: As it is, Hikigaya Hachiman has no qualms

My commanding officer, Hiratsuka Shizuka, did not look pleased after reading through my report.

I was still standing at attention, but taking a few glances showed that her frown steadily increased as her eyes roved through with sighs and shakes of her head spaced throughout. I could tell she had finished reading, because her eyes were fixed near the end of the page. But really, this silence was rather unnerving. I'm pretty sure I used the words correctly, and I think I didn't mess up by sounding too pretentious… or is i- Oh no did I get tenses wrong again (1)? It's always the damn tenses. And she still isn't saying anything, just a soft sigh and an exasperated head hold.

"Hikigaya… where did I go wrong with you."

"Hiratsuka-gensui (2), I'm sorry to say but you're too young to be my mother."

WHOOSH

An object, moving at near mach speed, buffeted my head as it passed. Wait that was a fist, and it nearly took my head off.

"Hikigaya, you know better than to joke about a woman's age. I would have thought the last few times would have knocked some sense into you." she said with a glare.

Scary! "B-but it was a compliment."

Her glare worsened. Hiratsuka-gensui was what I would call breathtakingly beautiful, even while shooting me a death glare. With cascading long black hair, soft facial features and a well endowed body, she would definitely be near the top of all beauty standards. That only served to accentuate how much her face had been warped by displeasure. And it was really scary. She was really scary. My multitudes of near death experiences were all at the hands of… her hands.

Dear god maybe it was my poor language skills.

"Pay attention!" A smack by a bundle paper brought me out of my musings. She sighed again. She really was doing that a lot. Doesn't she know a bit of your soul escapes every time you (3)- and I should stop.

"Sorry, commander."

While mumbling something about brats under her breath, she searched around in her pockets before pulling out a single cigarette. She tapped it against the desk besides her, compacted the tobacco and then lit it with a cheap looking lighter. She took a long drag before exhaling just as deeply.

"Really Hikigaya, do you know why I keep having these conversations with you?"

"I would say that I'm your favourite but I don't think that's what you're looking for."

Hiratsuka's lips slightly quirked up at that, before returning to a stern expression. "I actually am worried about you."

Oh boy, more nosing into my actions and motivations. Those who usually say "I'm worried" usually only do so to lure the victim into feeling guilty as a preface to get them to admit things. Sorry to say this Hiratsuka-gensui but you're not a psychologist, you're a high ranking Admiral. And also you're still not my mother.

"I see by your expression that you're not buying it. Come on Hikigaya, it's me. Would I lie to you?"

Yes. All people lie. But that's not the point.

"I don't see what's so worrying. You've read my reflection, you know how I am. I'm not even part of the expeditionary forces. There's really nothing for you to worry about."

"Hikigaya I'm the one who's lenient enough to let you stay away from the front lines. Given your rather calculative abilities and decent Japanese skills-"

Oh hey so the essay wasn't that bad.

"-I was able to convince the higher ups that you'd do better at pencil pushing than being part of the expedition force. But that is no more. The abyssals have increased the amount of forces they possess as well as the ferocity of their attacks. We'll need all hands on deck."

I fought down the urge to respond to that terrible pun. But back to what she said. I did find it odd that an earthquake occurred about 3 days ago which devastated Ichihara. It wouldn't have been something of note as earthquakes happen quite frequently. But this one had much of the city destroyed. Also it just so happens that Ichihara had housed the oil facilities that supplied our Chiba based expeditionary force (4). The news didn't say much, but there was a flood of reports that I had to review as a result of this, especially around the Chiba coastline. I had hand cramps for days after because of how many reports I had to fill and file. How did I not connect the dots until now?

"But what is it that they expect me to do? I'm unsuited for direct combat. Anyone with a brain could see that."

"It's true that your… personality is rather undesirable. Not to mention with your dead eyes-"

"Oi I resent that. My eyes are perfectly fine, thank you very much. It's not like they're lecherous or anything"

"People can't tell if the eyes are lecherous or not because they're too freaked out by how dead they are. That's not the point. Don't give lip to your commanding officer!"

Another slap to the head. I inclined my head downwards as if to reflect upon my actions. I must have seemed suitably chastised, as she decided to continue.

"Your circuits are of very high quality, albeit lacking in their capacity. You won't be able to support many KanMusu (5). But at this point we'll have to take what we get. Then again I'm sort of glad you won't be able to command too many shipgirls. Who knows what you would do to them. I'd probably accuse you of wanting to be a harem king."

Do you want my help or not, woman? You're not really selling the whole 'we need you in the navy' shtick. Also, I'm not some dense idiot whose only thoughts are filled with oppai. Though I wouldn't mind having a cool looking red gauntlet. (6)

She took another drag. "Times are getting desperate. We only have so many people who are compatible with KanMusu. I'm not going to be able to prevent higher-ups forcing you into service. And when they do, you're going to be at the very front leading raids against the abyssals. I would've assigned you to engineering, but your lacking ability in the sciences and math wouldn't fly."

I couldn't say anything against that. Forced conscription will occur regardless of my personal thoughts. It's truly unfortunate such potential was wasted on someone like me. Not only were KanMusu limited by the quality of circuits that the Admiral in command had, but only certain people could become admirals. I think the twintailed, tsundere Dai-Gensui (7) said something about INCANTATIONS. OREO? No wait ORIGIN and EREMENT. (8)

Maybe we wouldn't be in this situation had someone else been blessed with my circuits. Oh wait wasn't my philosophy to solve things before they came to war? Damn my past lazy self. And I'm sorry my future self. "You seem to have something else planned for me though."

"Ara, was I that obvious? Tell me Hikigaya, do you have any friends?"

I blinked at that seeming non-sequitur. In the process of my brain trying to parse the sentence, my mouth decided to betray me. "Well you see the concept of friends is rather strange. You could consider someone a friend but they don't consider you one. In that case, the friendship is automatically voided. But the first party wouldn't know that, and still believe they are friends. In that case-"

"Alright stop with that, it's just making me depressed. So you really don't have friends huh, I thought as much."

Then why did you ask me that, woman.

"Let me rephrase that to something more suiting you. How are you at social interaction?"

It took me a few moments to process what she meant, and more importantly, why she would ask such a thing.

"You're bringing me into the expeditionary forces as a support Admiral. If you bring me to a front line role before the higher ups get to me, you can choose where I am assigned and basically how much action I'll actually see. I won't have to do much as long as I follow commands and not piss people off."

Hiratsuka smiled at that. "How very astute of you."

She opened a drawer and pulled out a form. From the quick glimpse of the title I could tell it was a reassignment form.

"Captain Hikigaya Hachiman of the Chiba Abyssal Battle Group. You are hereby reassigned from your position as logistics manager of the second task force to the commander of Destroyer Division 6, an escort fleet of the first task force. Your new base of operations will be Hitokappu bay. You are to report there at 0800 tomorrow. Is that understood?"

I gave a deep bow, knowing that she had once again looked out for me. "Yes ma'am."

Seeing that as my dismissal, I turned to leave.

"You're not a bad kid, Hikigaya. But you are still a kid. Make sure to come back alive."

I could see her softly smiling as I exited her office. I hope I come back alive too.


1-2

Hitokappu bay was cold. Actually, cold doesn't do it justice. Even wrapped in several layers of clothing, my arms and legs still felt the biting wind cutting straight to my bones. Even though summer had just ended, the amount of snow on the ground piled up knee high as the clouds seemed to make a contest out of who can dump out the most snow. What little vegetation was either buried or barren. It. Was. Cold.

Somehow rather than staying in nice comfy Okinawa or any other southern island I'm sent to this frozen rock. I don't think I can use the phrase "when hell freezes over" because I've seen that with my own eyes. Then again I generally hate summer, especially if I have to go outside. Usually I can hide in the living room, AC at full blast and take blissful naps in the sunbeams, never fearing that I would sweat. In Okinawa, it would be entirely different. I would be sweating everywhere I go, and I couldn't hide inside when I'm assigned to active duty. Still doesn't mean I'm going to accept how damn cold it is though.

If I recall correctly, I'm stationed just south of the Russian peninsula on a chain of islands that separate the bay of Okhotsk and the Pacific ocean. And I'm on the northernmost speck of rock. And it's cold. What do I even call this place? Hitori kappu (8.1)?

The real Hitokappu bay isn't even this far north. It's on the largest island to the south, just north of Hokkaido. I mean, as a support Admiral I expected that I'd be away from the main base, but isn't this a bit too far?! Did they see a picture of me and assume I'm some sort of pervert or something? And then send me here in the hopes I freeze while being just far enough to not see me and just close enough to be plausibly part of the base. That's discriminatory and totally unfair! We perverts should rise up against such instantaneous hate! And show them that just because we are perverts we shouldn't be judged. Don't judge a book by its cover and all that. Wait no, I'm not a pervert.

It took all of my effort trying to keep my chattering teeth from shattering each other as I shuffled through the snow. The anchorage that would be my home for the next few months was a small place. Just a naval yard, a few warehouses, a dormitory and office and a few cranes. I couldn't really tell what the island looked like because it was blanketed by a thick layer of snow. All in all the patrol of the place took little more than 10 minutes. Were it any bigger I'm sure I would've lost my toes.

And the sun, which usually would've been burning my retinas as I tried to curl into my blankets, wasn't even up yet. Oh how I long for you now, my hated nemesis.

My quick inspection of the grounds took far too long, and I was glad to finally be inside. The interior looked much like the outside, barren. But the lighting was a mellow yellow, seeming to give off a warm, homely feeling. I squinted a bit closer, and realized it was actually just faulty wiring causing dim bulbs. I continued walking through the hallways, noting the cafeteria and dormitories. They too were rather sparse, with furnishings made to last and easy to clean. Near the end of the long hallway, next to the dorms was a door. Outside, a nameplate that was hanging from one side read "Kaigun-Daisa Hikigaya Hachiman."

God damn, who the hell did the construction here? They can't even hang a name plate right.

I sighed, and opened the door. Unlike the rest of the base, the insides were somewhat better furnished. Inside was A decent desk, a leather armchair and a few filing cabinets near the back. The walls were stark white, and the window behind the desk was opaque with water vapor and ice. The light was flickering slightly. I'm definitely filing a report about the crap job the construction people did. Maybe I could also sue for a few more amenities. I could use fire hazard caused by faulty wiring as an excuse, and wasted time looking for my office because of that nameplate. First though, to inform Hiratsuka.

I set about looking for a communications device. There was no phone on the desk, nor on the filing cabinets. There was only a large square object with a line leading to a... wait, why is there a Morse code machine? Where's the phone? No internet, sure, but not even a phone? Are these people really cosplaying as the good old days of the Imperial Japanese Navy? I pulled out my cell phone. No signal. Well… damn. Let's see how well I can remember Morse...


Hikigaya: Hikaga of HK anciorage reporting in.

Shizuka: Ah Hikigaya I see that you're on time. You need to work on your morse. How are you settling in.

Hikigaya: is cold.

Shizuka: A little cold never killed anyone. Man up. its your home until you get reassigned. If you want to leave you better work hard.

Hikigaya: tell German invade Russia cold not kill. Request mission.

Shizuka: Your contact for further briefing will arrive in two days. Your KanMusu should be arriving today. Please take care of them.

Hikigaya: understood.

Shizuka: Oh your sister also left a message. Idiot. Nincompoop. Hachiman. Did you not tell her about your reassignment? Also Hachiman lol.


1-3

I froze upon reading that line. 'Your sister left a message.' This echoed over and over in my head. How could I have forgotten my cute, adorable, and very annoying little sister? She's usually at the forefront of my mind… either because she's cute or because she's annoying. Wait that sounds pretty wrong, let me try that again. She's my little sister. I feel nothing for her but brotherly affection. To forget her is just… that's going to be a lot of negative Hachiman points. Maybe enough to wipe out my years of accumulation.

I'm going to need to do a huge favour for her. I don't think my standard response of a prostration would cut it. Maybe cook for her? Wait, my cooking sucks.

Proclaim to her I'll be with her forever and ever? That sounds creepy even to me.

Life consultation? Wait I'm not a siscon. (9)

All the flavours of pocky might do the trick.

Engrossed in my thoughts, I didn't notice another presence in my office until a knock sounded on the door and a soft voice spoke out.

"Shireikan? (10)"

I turned to inspect the source of the voice.

What greeted me was a young girl with brown hair in a short ponytail and sailor outfit. The skirt and collar piece were both black, with an anchor ornament embedded on the front and a red ribbon tied loosely like a tie.

"A-abyssal!?"

A girl who had a turret pointed straight at my face.

"Wait what are you doi-"

A flash of light.


(1) I don't think Japanese really has tenses, it's more contextual. Either way take it as an English localization thing

(2) Kaigun-Gensui (海軍元帥) is Grand Admiral ranking for Imperial Japanese Navy of WW2. I dunno if the honorifics work this way. Too lazy to fact check. I'll wait for triggered reviewers to do that for me.

(3) Superstition from somewhere. Maybe it's gintama. Or naruto. Maybe really part of Japanese superstition.

(4) Ichihara is a city in Chiba devastated by the march 2011 earthquake and tsunami. Chiba is the prefecture that OreGairu is set in.

(5) KanMusume (艦娘) literally means ship girl. I think the English sounds stupid and since I don't really know Japanese it just sounds better.

(6) Highschool DxD referece.

(7) Dai-Gensui (大元帥) means big Gensui, which is one rank above Gensui. See note (2) if you've forgotten.

(8) Incarnation, Origin, Element. These are said in English. And while Hikigaya is slightly above average, he's not the best at English especially while dealing with new concepts.

(8.1) Hitori (一人) can mean alone. It's basically a pun where Hachiman has been sent to this tiny place.

(9) My little sister can't be this cute referece.

(10) Shireikan (司令官) means commander.


A/N:

This is supposed to be published on Nov 26th. Coincidentally the date that the Pearl Harbor attack force left Hitokappu bay.


Edit: Added (8.1) and did a bit of fixing because I messed up describing where Hachiman was located.

Edit 2: Reworked a bit of dialogue. Added some things so that it flows better. Removed some useless parts. Still needs a rework.