A/N~ Here is our take on Edward's reaction to Bella's pregnancy. There are lots of twists and turns planned, we hope you enjoy the ride.

The Twilight Series and all it's characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.


You hold me without touch,

you keep me without chains.

I never wanted anything so much

than to drown in your love

and not feel your rain.

BELLA POV

Edward refuses to look at me. We're almost back to Forks and I haven't gotten more than a grunt in response for hours, so I sit in silence with one hand absentmindedly rubbing across my stomach. It feels like time is standing still and I'm itching to get home, to get to Rosalie. I knew Rose would be on my side and as soon as I realized Edward had left his phone on the counter I had to call her. She was going to help me. I'm keeping this baby- our baby. I flinch at the memory of my conversation with Edward, standing in the house on Isle Esme. He called our baby "that thing" and I don't think I will ever be able to forgive him. I force myself to follow him off the plane and into the waiting towncar, sneaking a glance at his face as I sit down.

Edwards takes my hand and murmurs, "This will all be over soon."

I nod in response though I don't mean the same 'over' that he does. I don't pull my hand away, but leave it limp wrapped in his. If he notices he isn't letting on.

When we arrive in Forks, I can't help but feel a mixture of terror and relief. I leave Edward to get our luggage and slowly walk up to the large house, counting each step until I get to the door. It immediately swings open and I have never been more happy to see Rosalie.

She hisses at Edward, "I've got her" when he tries to pull me from her grasp.

I let her take me, waiting until we get to her and Emmett's room before I break down. I know Edward isn't far behind and is probably right outside the door but I am thankful for at least the mask of privacy. He knows better than to enter this room, Rosalie would have his head.

We stay in there for a while, hours maybe? Time means nothing. She doesn't speak and lets me cry. I cry for me, for Edward, for our baby... When it feels like there's nothing left in me, I try to gain my bearings and look around the room. Everything is white- Rosalie obviously decorated this room. I'm hit with the realization that I've only been in here once. Rosalie and I have never been close and part of me is sad that only now that I am pregnant is she accepting of me. The rest of me is relieved that I have an ally.

"Carlisle is waiting," Rosalie says quietly as she smooths my hair back. She isn't good at this type of thing and I know I'm making her nervous.

I look up at her with wide eyes and take both of her hands in mine squeezing as hard as I can.

"You can't let him take my baby Rose, you can't-" I stop my words when she nods, knowing I made the right decision in asking for her help.

Rosalie stands and walks to the door, leaving me to get myself together for a moment. I use the bottom of my shirt to dry my face before following her out of the room, not surprised when I see Edward standing across the hall. He's leaning against the wall and has that look, that look that's been killing me inside since the moment I told him that I was pregnant. He takes my elbow and looks pointedly at Rose, but she doesn't back down. Standing between them I feel so small.

I take a deep breath when I see Carlisle and Esme waiting outside of his office- Alice, Jasper, and Emmett not far behind them. I want to run, hug each and every one of them. Instead I stay planted between Rose and Edward, my protector and the person she's trying to protect me from. My husband. The thought is almost comical. I know he won't hurt me.

Emmett grins and his voice booms, "I asked you to bring me a souvenir Bells but I never expected this!"

Edward is not amused and tightens his grip on my elbow. I can't help but smile and remind myself to thank Emmett later. I haven't smiled in days.

"I would've brought you a nice tropical boar to sink your teeth into, but it wouldn't fit in my carry-on."

Even Jasper laughs at this and I see Esme trying not to smile.

Emmett stops for a moment, no doubt wondering if I'm making a joke about him being a pig. It makes me smile again and I pat his arm as I get to the group. I've missed him. I've missed them all.

I hug Alice and Esme first, hugging each of them probably a little too long. I then move on to shyly hug Emmett and Jasper. I step back between Edward and Rose, and each firmly grab my elbows.

Carlisle clears his throat and looks pointedly at Edward, a mental exchange obviously occurring as Edward releases my elbow. Rose follows suit and I shuffle to Esme, giving her another small hug before stepping in the office, slightly taken aback by the hospital bed and medical equipment littering the usually pristine room.

"Get out of here Rose," Edward snarls.

I turn and see Rosalie standing defiantly in the corner of the room as Carlisle shuts the door. There is no way she is going to leave and I honestly don't want her to. She's the only one I know is on my team. Team Bella. Team Baby. I give her a look of encouragement not to back down, though she doesn't need it.

"I want her here Edward. She stays," I say in a quiet but firm voice.

The look on Edward's face almost breaks me. Carlisle looks around the room to each of us and Edward's eyes flicker to the ground. I obviously missed another unheard conversation and try not to fill myself with hope that Carlisle is on my side.

I wait until Carlisle turns around before I begin to moves to the far side of the bed as Rosalie helps me out of my clothes and into the hospital gown. All of my usual self-consciousness is gone. Edward's not looking at me anyway and Rosalie is too focused on him to care what I look like naked. It isn't until both of them audibly gasp that I notice their eyes staring at my stomach. The size of my growing belly shocks even me. My eyes lock with Edward's, pleading for him to realize that this is good- this is right. His jaw is set and he looks away from me quickly. Rosalie helps me onto the bed and I fiddle with the buttons so that I'm halfway sitting up. Carlisle finishes washing his hands at the small sink before turning to me with a sad smile.

"It's not your damn baby Rosalie," Edward practically spits out in response to Rosalie's thoughts. I turn from Carlisle to glance between Rosalie and Edward, each of them looking like they're ready to pounce.

Carlisle's voice is even and clear when he speaks.

"If you two cannot handle yourselves like adults, get out of my office. Bella needs no more stress."

This is Dr. Cullen speaking, not Carlisle, and I'm glad that someone in here is strong enough to realize this is not what I need. I need peace or at least some small form of it.

Both Rose and Edward back off. Edward looks like he's been slapped and moves around the bed to be closer to me, reaching for my hand. I let him take it, just as I did in the car, but can't bring myself to squeeze back.

EDWARD POV

I know I'm not being what a good husband should be. I know I should be supportive, excited even. It kills me that I've upset Bella. I know that I have hurt her deeply with my reaction, my distance. She just doesn't understand. She doesn't realize what this means, how serious it is. As much as I wish we were, we aren't a normal couple having a baby. This should be a joyful event in our lives. Something we celebrate over dinner at our favorite restaurant. If I were human, if I were right for her, it would be that way. I am reminded again that I am neither of those things. Again I feel like a monster. I've hurt the one person I love more than anything, the one person I need. If she doesn't see reason, I will be the reason her life ends.

I focus on her hand, slack in mine, knowing she may never forgive me for all of this. I can deal with that, as long as she's still with me. If this thing, this creature I put in her fragile body kills her, my existence will be over. Rose's thoughts are driving me mad so I do my best to tune them out, not wanting to upset Bella or Carlisle more than we already have. I watch him put gel on Bella's stomach. A stomach that only days ago was perfectly flat under my lips...I squeeze my eyes closed forcing out the images. I did this. I am a selfish bastard. If I had controlled myself, we wouldn't be in this situation. I should be ashamed of myself. I am ashamed of myself.

Carlisle explains what he's doing and what he's looking for. I'm sure his quiet, calm voice is meant to relax Bella but I know my father. Despite his demeanor saying he's pulled together and everything is fine, I can tell he's worried. This realization puts me even more on edge. His thoughts are reciting the Periodic Table of Elements. He's trying to keep me out of his head, a really bad sign.

I do my best to keep my voice even, but it comes out in a growl, "Carlisle, what is it? What's wrong?"

Rosalie stares daggers at me and calls me an asshole with her thoughts. Bella looks panicked and I wish I could find it in me to be her rock. I want to comfort my wife, I owe her that much, but I just don't know how. Carlisle redirects his thoughts to remind me to be calm or I'm out of here. I wonder if it would be better if I leave, but I feel obligated to stay and face what I've done. Carlisle clears his throat, speaking softly, explaining that he cannot see through the placenta, and I hear nothing after that.

I'm stuck in my own mind, and I can't move even though it screams at me to be sure Bella's alright. Every moment with Bella flashes through my stream of conciousness, every ounce of hope I had left diminishes. This is not a baby. It's not some blessing resulting from the love I have for Bella and the love she has for me. It's not a little person with her brown eyes and my crazy hair or with the green eyes I had as a human and her chestnut hair. It isn't a culmination of the best parts of us. It's the worst part of me inside of my precious Bella. Though I don't need to breathe, I feel like the wind has been knocked out of me. I feel Rose push me aside and watch her hold my wife's hand. They are the team now. I am the outsider again.

Though I know it should be me at her side, I don't intervene. I can't move due to the weight I feel on my shoulders. I don't deserve to be with Bella or on her team. I never did. I was an absolute fool to let her convince me for a brief time that I might. I should have stepped aside. I should have loved Bella enough to give her up. Enough to allow her to have this life, the life she is hoping for as she rubs her belly. She could have had it with Jacob Black. She still could. I had no right to ask her to marry me. None. I am not sure how long I stand in the corner in a daze before Carlisle puts his hand on my back and walks me out. He speaks low, probably giving me words of encouragement. Though everything is fuzzy and I can't hear him, I know that's his way. I'm sure he has summoned Jasper because I feel his attempts to calm me.

They fail.

BPOV

Edward finally walks into the living room where I've been sitting with Rosalie and Alice for the last hour or so. He looks like he's seen a ghost... I feel almost sorry for us, because we are not the same people we were less than 48 hours ago. He sits in the overstuffed chair closest to Alice, obviously wanting to keep the distance between him and Rose. He avoids my gaze and I wonder if he will ever be able to look at me again. I see Jasper follow shortly after and lean against the arm of the sofa with one arm around Alice's shoulders. I feel slightly numb and know he's trying to work his magic on us all, but it's not working.

I am glad that Edward's family, my family now, is surrounding us. I don't think I could bear to be alone with Edward while he's being like this.

My throat cracks when I finally speak, "Rose? I'm hungry."

She glances at me before shooting a look across the room to Edward, and I know she's debating whether she wants to leave or not. In all honesty Rose probably isn't the best person to ask to make me food, but her being in the other room might help Edward relax. He's not happy with our new sisterly bond.

My stomach growling breaks the silence. Jasper lets out a laugh and I smile a little. Everyone always knows when the human is hungry. I haven't eaten in hours and the nudger is not happy.

"Please Rose? You make the best eggs," I practically beg.

When I say the word 'egg's I can't help but turn towards Edward. He finally stops scowling at Rosalie long enough to meet my eyes, and his expression softens a bit. I hope he's remembering all of those mornings on the island. I blush slightly as everything floods back to me.

"Go make her the eggs Rose- I'm not going to kidnap her or hold her against her will," Edward says mockingly.

Is that what she's thinking? Really? I scoot over to the edge of the couch when Rosalie stands, muttering to herself so low I can't make it out but I'm sure everyone else can because Edward is back to scowling.

I spread my fingers out and press the palm of my hand to my stomach, rubbing in small circles as our baby- never "that thing"- flutters and I mentally reassure him (it has to be a him, with all of those dreams I had on the island) that we'll be eating soon.

Emmett barrels down the stairs and flops on the sofa between Alice and I. I can't help but lean against him, he is the big brother I never had.

"So Bells, I guess you finally got the old man to rock your world."

I give Emm a small nod and peek over his large frame at Edward, who is still staring at the carpet.

Alice jabs Emmett with her elbow to his side and I hear the crack of what sounds like stone-on-stone. Emmett shuts up.

We sit in awkward silence until Rosalie comes in with a plate of scrambled eggs and hands it to me. I focus on eating and don't look up from the plate until it's empty, blushing furiously when I see they're all staring at me.

"Sorry... I told you we were hungry!"

At the word 'we', Edward looks like he's going to snap and heads out the front door. I stand up and shove the plate onto the coffee table. I want to go after him, my heart hurts for him... But why is he doing this to me? To us? My sadness turns to anger and I stomp out the door after him. I spot him across the yard clenching and unclenching his fists.

I stay where I am on the front porch, but speak. My voice is quiet, barely more than a whisper, but I know he'll hear me.

"Do you want me to leave?"

I take a deep breath and wait for him to turn around.