I sat there emotionless for what it seemed like days. Why didn't he like me? Was I really that bad looking? Did I smell bad? Oh…GOD! Get yourself together Alex.
I looked up at the clock. 1 o'clock in the morning still awake. Trust me if I wanted to go to sleep that bad...I would have fallen asleep already. Damn alcohol. Drinking wasn't usually something I did. But it seemed to ease away the pain brought upon me earlier today. Damn was it only 6 hours ago?
"JUSTIN!" I called tears pouring down my face. No one has made me cry like this ever. What the hell was wrong with me? It's not like he would come back. He made up his mind and there was no changing it. She knew this was going to happen. But she didn't expect it to hurt as much as it actually did. She pleaded and pleaded for him to come back. Hold her again. Kiss her again. Want her again.
He didn't hesitate as he drove around the corner. He had been planning on leaving her for awhile. She was only a toy to him. There for his pleasure for having someone. She cared for him. Loved him. What did she get in return? Nothing….
They constantly fought. She tried so hard to make them work. But knew it wasn't possible. He was ignorant, selfish man whore. She told herself not to fall for him. It was just, he was simply irresistible. I mean everyone one in the whole world could see that. But his personality…she couldn't say he had one. When he was around he was a zombie. Cold and heartless. But his presence made her feel complete in every way. She couldn't deny that.
"Alex? Is that you? OH MY GOD!" I heard someone call from the side. It was my best friend. Mitchie Torres. She ran toward me in a flash.
"ALEX! What the hell are you doing here out in the rain?" It was raining? I had been to busy crying me heart out to the darkness as I waited for someone to find me before I die.
"It's a long story" I said stifling a laugh.
"Ok…let's get you inside before you catch a cold." She said grabbing her own coat and draping it around my own shoulders.
"Ok..." I couldn't really argue with that. I honestly hated getting sick.
We reached my apartment where I plopped onto the couch and got cozy into the soft fleece blankets while Mitchie went about my apartment getting me a new pair of clothes and preferably some hot coco. I was actually glad she was here. I hated when people went around my apartment. Looking through my stuff. Sorting through years of my shitty secrets. But today it didn't seem to bother me…odd.
"Here you go." Mitchie said plopping down a brand new pair of pj's I had bought weeks prior.
"Thanks Mitchie, you're the best! Love you." I said grabbing the clothes and stumbling toward the bathroom to put them on.
"I know… I love you too" She shouted so I could hear her from the bathroom.
Hours later Mitchie left me to grieve by myself with only "The Notebook", a carton of ice cream, and a hella lot of booze. Which we all know what happens next…
The memories grazed my mind ever so slightly. Well…I was going to be hung-over in the morning.
I woke up the next morning in the same position as last night. Hanging upside down on my, TV turned to nickelodeon and hung-over as hell. I and alcohol do not mix well at all. I turned to the clock. This seemed to turn into a habit. I always checked the clock. The more I looked the faster it goes. It just worked that way...I wasn't complaining.
"Hey Alex!" my neighbor called as I went to check the mailbox's.
"Hey Gigi" I said faking a smile and trying to walk away before she said anything more. The last thing I needed to hear today was a word from that bimbo. UGH! She just really pushed my buttons sometimes…hehe I have buttons! Oh my god even your thoughts are immature.
"So…Did you hear? I'm getting married." Who would marry that cold blooded bitch?
"Oh…really? I didn't hear. Who's the poor guy?" I asked snickering.
"He's name is Dean. We are so in love. So when are you going to tie the knot with your man? Oh…wait...You don't have one anymore!" She said laughing and running up the stairs back to her apartment before I could protest. Bitch…
I took my phone out of my pocket as I punched in Mitchie number. Mitchie is my best friend. Pretty much my only friend except one girl from the office I work at.
"Hello?" I heard Mitchie call from the other line.
"Hey girl what's up?" I asked trying to stay cool but failing.
"Nothing much…Making lunch… Want to come over?" She asked so casually.
"Sure… See you in 10?"
"Ok…"
I headed over to Mitchie's apartment. It was just getting dark as I reached the door. I walked right in as I always do. Mitchie encouraged the whole "Mi casa es su casa" idea. Not that I would want my door unlocked so some sick perverted sicko can walk in on my taking a shower any moment. I rolled my eyes at the idea. Mitchie was so laid back and caring. Sometimes I wish I was her. She has many friends, a boyfriend who loved her and a family who actually cared. What else could you want? I'm not saying my parents didn't love me. It's just…I wish they were actually there to love me. They were always "Supporting the family". Yea I get it you had to work your whole life and I had to pay by spending my childhood alone. Let's just face it… I was a loner.
Mitchie was dancing to the radio when I walked into the kitchen. Singing California girls by Katy Perry. Her whole body was covered in flour and she had stuff all over the place. I would have mistaken this place for the junk yard rather than her house. What the hell did she do?
"Hey Girlie!" I called automatically grabbing empty, dirty bowls lying over the counter and putting them into the sink. I was such a neat freak.
"Hey A!" She screeched over the radio. "Come over her and help me!" She said laughing.
"Yes, ma'm." I said saluting her and walking gracefully to her side. "What do you want me to do?"
"Shane is coming over tonight…" she spoke nervously. "It's our 1 year anniversary and I want it to be special."
"Awe... How romantic…" I laughed as she smiled
"So… Will you help me?"
"Sure…why not?"
"Yay!" She said laughing. She was such a kid sometimes.
It grew late and I headed toward the door. It was time for me to leave so the love birds could enjoy their meal. I said goodbye to Mitchie and walked out. The cool night breeze felt good along my skin. It brushed against it every so often giving me goose bumps. I looked up at the dark night sky. Space… How I longed to go up there. It seemed to be peaceful, with no worries (other than to find oxygen so you can breathe). It was like heaven floating along the stars in a trance.
I finally reached my apartment at about 10 o'clock. I got up there and threw my bag onto the table. Seeing I had a new message I skipped to the recorder. I honestly felt better about my situation. He didn't happen to appear in my mind every second. And it had only been what... 1 day…I'm so weird.
