Hey,

I`ll say it again, if you can`t deal with the worst horror a parent could go through, don`t read it. I need to process something and I felt like I could do it only by writing. It is horrible what has happened near my town lately. It just makes me feel scared, horrified even. There died a lot of young people by accident and I don`t know. Well this happened too, my little sister`s in the same class as the 15-year old in my story and the girl that died, she knew too. It´s horrible to know it could happen to everyone.

I don`t own anything.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

Horrible things do happen to good people too!

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"Damn Derek talk to me. You`re not the only one that`s suffering!" I yelled so loud, that the whole hospital could here my words.

Flashback

We were driving chatting happily on the highway. Derek, me, our daughter Julie and our niece Lucy. She`s Nancy`s 15 year old daughter. Julie`s 14 and we just picked her and Lucy up from their dance lessons. Now we are on the way to take Lucy home.

"There`s an audition, can I please go there mom? Dad?" Julie asked excited. She wanted to become an musical star.

"Well, yeah I guess." Derek replied excited for our daughter. But suddenly my cries filled the car.

"Derek watch out!" I yelled frightened, my eyes wide in horror. There was a truck droving straight towards us. So Derek tried to avoide the obstruction but lost controle of the car. Uncontrolled the car dashed towards the forest next to the lane and the car rolled over and crashed into a tree.

Immediately, the car cought fire and it was everywhere in a split of a second. Loud screams filled the car and I jumped out of the car and so did Derek and Lucy. But I didn`t see Julie. The car was in flames, when I finally noticed that my child was still in the burning car.

"Julie? Julie?" I yelled and Derek run towards the car, trying to open the door behind the front seat passenger but it wouldn`t open. I tried the other side but there was no chance of reaching her. The flames were everywhere, they were so hot, but I didn`t even notice the pain.

"Julie?" I was crying desperately. My tears dried as soon as they left the car because of the heat. Suddenly I was pulled out of the car by a man. I was kicking and screaming while I had to watch my daughter burn alive. It felt like I was burning. It felt like my body was ripped into tiny little pieces. I didn`t even notive that I, myself was seriously injuries. I`ve never felt such pain before. I felt like I`m going to die.

All I was doing was screaming, desperately trying to free myself to save my child. A mother couldn`t just stand there and watch her child die could she.

Then Derek`s and Lucy`s crys echoed in my ears.

"Let me go." I was crying. "Let me go, that`s my child in there. I need to safe her. I need to get her out there. I can`t leave her there. I have to get her out. I, I please help me. Get her out, you need to safe her." I was pleading desperately. "Please" my cries became quieter but now the pain, that became even worse.

"She`s my child. Please, she`s my child." I sobbed.

Derek was on his knees watching the car burn like in trace, Lucy was in a shock, she was like in a different universe. Slowly wipping back and forth and then she collapsed. She`s seriously injured, suffers from very bad burns.

Then the ambulance arrived and the parametrics gave me a sedative injection, because I wouldn`t let them treat me.

After the autopsy we found out that our little Julie, didn`t die because of the flames, she died because her neck was broken by the impact. But it didn`t ease the pain, because if her neck wasn`t broken, she might have had a chance to free herself.

End flashback

"It wasn`t you`re fault." He yelled at me furious.

"It wasn`t your fault either. No one`s to blame for that Derek. I don`t blame you, Lucy doesn`t blame you and Julie wouldn`t blame you either. No one blames you but yourself. You`ve got to stop that Derek. "

"It is my fault!" He yelled back. "I drove the car. I drove the car and because I looked at Julie for a second I didn`t see the truck earlier. I saw her die Addison. I saw our daughter die." He yelled at me.

"You`re not the only one! So did I and so did Lucy. You`ve got a life to live. It`s hard but I manage too. Lucy manages too. You`ve start to think of the good times we had with her. Not that day. Otherwise it`ll eat you up from inside. Stop thinking about that day. When I think of her, I think about the times she came crawling into our bed, trying to push us apart so she could lie down between us to cuddle. The day she was born, her first smile, the day she made her first steps or when she was dancing and singing. When she laughed with us or was on stage. Do you remember her running around this corner, when she was five? We were here visiting Richard and Adele and Adele took Julie to the zoo while Richard tried to get us to move to Seattle. When they came back, she run around that corner yelling 'mommy, mommy, we saw cangoroos and giraffes and elephants'. There are so many places that remind me of her and it helps me Derek. You have to stop thinking about that day. You just have to. I need you because I miss her too. She was my child too and I was there too. It wasn`t just you who saw it."

She looked at him, he had tears glittering in his deep blue eyes and the first time in so long he looked into her eyes.

"Please forgive yourself Derek. Please."

He replied with a tiny nod but stayed silent. I was crying by now, crying about my daughter. My only child, the child that had to leave the earth too early, whose life was too short. Only 14 years long. She never had the chance to find true love, make her wishes come true.

I turned around and suddenly noticed the whole stuff looking up to us. Everyone including Meredith Grey. I walked off not looking back at them, instead I was trying to keep calm and stop the tears.

The end.


All right, I`m crying again and that`s why I only read over it once. So sorry if there are lots of mistakes. My eyes feel hot and hurt. I hope you liked it. Please tell me what you think about the oneshot. It would make me happy :D

Love Antonia