Small drabble-oneshot-thing. I highly doubt that Kurogane's Japan had teddy bears, but hey, this is fanfiction. Fan's creative rights, eh? Or something like that.

The Wonders of the Teddy Bear

"I'm talking about the kind of sleep where you lie down, shut your eyes, and lose consciousness for a few hours. What kind of sleep are you talking about?"

"What exactly is it supposed to be?"

The differences that spanned from world to world never failed to amaze Kurogane. "You've never seen a teddy bear?"

Fai shook his head silently, still staring at the fuzzy little stuffed animal in his hands.

"We had bears," He finally said. "Large white ones. They were hunted and cooked. The most delicious meat, you know," He flashed his grin at the ninja. "You would have loved our meat, Kuro-chi."

"I like my Japan's meat just fine, thanks," Kurogane answered sourly, tearing away at the sheets of his bed. How tightly could the woman have possibly tucked the blankets? No piece of cloth should have been lodged so tight.

"But what about teddy bears? Do you eat them?"

Kurogane rolled his eyes. "That thing look edible to you, mage?"

"Snow bears never looked edible to me, but I ate them every night," Fai replied with the simplicity of a child reciting his times tables.

"Whatever."

"Is that your response to everything, Kuro-myu?" Fai asked charmingly. "Kuro-tan needs to learn how to be creative."

"Leave me out of this."

"But what is it for?"

The bed sheets came free of their lodging with a rather satisfying tug. Kurogane began working at the mattress. "You sleep with it. Obviously."

Fai's eyes widened impossibly. "Really?" He gasped. "Well…I really can't judge anything by its appearance, can I? Snow bears can be eaten, and teddy bears…that's so amazing, Kuro-puu!"

"Not that amazing," Kurogane said with a grunt as he pulled the mattress to the floor. Fai continued to make little 'oohs' and 'ahs' as he inspected the teddy bear further.

Who would've thought setting up a decent bed could be so difficult? Those box-spring-things were all to blame, Kurogane decided. Squeaky, springy, poky little bastards…just a simple mattress, a few sheets, and a pillow was all anyone really needed to get a decent night's rest. Whoever invented the box-spring-thing had better be burning in---

"Kuro-mun, I'm confused! Where are you supposed to put it?"

Kurogane's gaze traveled heaven-wards for the millionth time. "Where do you think? In your bed!"

"No, not that it, the other it!"

Kurogane finally turned from his bed improvements to look at the mage. "What 'it'?"

Fai's shocker-blue eyes spun as they looked for any subject other than Kurogane to look at. "You know…it."

"No, I don't know! If you're not going to make sense, then shut up!"

"But Kuro-chan! There's no hole! See?" Fai held up the bear for inspection.

"Why would there need to be? You just put it in your bed and fall asleep!" Kurogane ran an impatient hand through his hair. "Dammit, only you could make this so difficult!"

"Just put it…fall asleep?" Fai's brow crinkled, and his eyes narrowed in confusion. "Kuro-pii, what kind of 'sleep' do you think we're talking about?"

"I'm talking about the kind of sleep where you lie down, shut your eyes, and lose consciousness for a few hours. What kind of sleep are you talking about?"

For the first time that Kurogane's mind could recall, Fai seemed to be speechless, a half-smile frozen on his face. The blonde mage turned and carefully put the teddy bear back on the nightstand where he'd found it.

"My mistake," Fai finally chuckled. "Are you all right, Kuro-pon? You look a little red."