Just... don't ask. This contains a few inside jokes, like associating Kirihara with blackberries, and Jackal and Marui designing clothes.

Also I just wanted an excuse for Kirihara to call Marui a twink.


"I'm going to kill you," Kirihara growled, one eyebrow twitching. He'd just known this was a bad idea. How had he gotten mixed up in this? At least the windows in Marui's and Jackal's room were drawn so nobody could see.

"Oh, but you look adorable!" Marui gushed, eyes bright and shining like twin stars. "This is one of our best designs so far, don't you think so, Jackal?"

"The purple really does accent his eyes. At the risk of sounding creepy, he looks quite delicious."

Niou tossed his head back and howled with laughter. He was in something of the same situation as Kirihara was, with one crucial difference. He didn't mind at all. In fact, he had helped Marui and Jackal with their endeavor. Meaning, he had held Kirihara still.

Ignoring Niou's hyena-like hysteria—he'd get that bastard later—he fought back the shades of red that threatened to take over his face. To Marui, he snapped, "This is Rikkaidai, not Hyotei, you fucking twink! Get me out of this goddamn outfit!" His voice was at a maddened shriek, and the first half of that sentence probably didn't make any sense. Maybe his brain had just broken from the utter wrongness of this whole situation.

Marui decided not to be offended at being called a twink nonetheless. He snickered with Niou instead, more so when the downstairs door openend and closed and Yagyuu called, "We're here!"

"We'll be right down!" Niou yelled back, grabbing Kirihara's arm. "Showtime, bratling~" he sang in a tone dripping with honey and poison.

Kirihara paled. That voice always, always, meant doom or humiliation. Oftentimes both. Niou and Marui and Jackal knew something he didn't. Unfortunately for him, he was busy pondering this as he was being hauled down the stairs by Niou, who was humming gleefully.

When his mind had finally snapped back into the present, he was horrified to see that they were almost downstairs and within view of whoever had come in. His heart and brain spasmed. Oh god, Yagyuu had said we. Who had he brought with him? It didn't matter, he was not going to see them. Kirihara fought Niou's grip. "Let go, let go, I'm not going out there like this!"

"Oh yes you are," the older boy purred, smirking up a storm. He had trouble holding the devil even so—for being noticeably smaller, he was pretty darn strong. Niou pulled him along until they reached the end of the stairs, where he shoved him into view before him.

"Niou, I will choke yo—" He didn't finish; his eyes had landed on a very confused yet impressed Shiraishi Kuranosuke, who was looking him up and down. His eyes were the only thing moving—everything else had frozen at the sight of his little devil. Or, rather, what his three sempai had stuffed him into.

Kirihara was wearing a dress. It came all the way down to the tops of his flat-soled purple boots, and was tied around his waist with a huge black bow with a blackberry design sewed into the center. The front-center, a clean white zigzagged with purple ribbons, was flanked by a creamy yellow fabric that rippled in tiers from his waist to the ends. Blackberries and little white five-petal flowers were embroidered along the bottom edge. And worst of all, it had lace, and a lot of it. They'd even forced him into a lace-and-ribbon choker and a headband with little blackberry designs sprinkled around a large black bow.

The junior's feet were glued to the floor and his eyes felt like they would jump out of his skull. He could feel his entire face burning. Kill me now, he pleaded with nobody. Just kill me now. And take Niou, Marui, and Jackal-sempais while you're at it. He'd thought the last time he'd ever have to wear a dress was that damned play Yukimura had made him do, but apparently the universe enjoyed kicking him in the balls.

Shiraishi flicked his eyes up and down Kirihara once more, from his (remarkably well-made) dress to his mortified and embarassed expression, and concluded that he'd never seen him more adorable. Amusement lightly tingeing his voice, he asked, "Blackberry cheesecake?"

"Yup, and I'm strawberry shortcake," said Niou, sauntering out of the hallway and laying a fingerless-black-gloved hand on Kirihara's shoulder.

Pink cascaded from his neck and flowed off the sides, elegantly trimmed with wavy white patterns and lace. Red made up the most of the lower portion, with neat little fabric curtains held in place with strawberry adornments. He wore three bows, each with a little strawberry in the middle—one at his neck, one by his waist, and a rather large one at his back. The dress itself stopped a few inches above a pair of calf-high black heeled boots, laced down the front. Loose red shoulderless sleeves (trimmed with lace of course) flowed down his arms, partially covering the elbow-length black gloves. They were kept in blace with beautiful silk black ribbon. On his head was a band to which had been attached a little black hat and three or four strawberry motifs.

"So what do you think, Hiroshi?" the trickster asked, winking demurely.

"I think Marui and Jackal have outdone themselves," he replied, giving Niou a once-over. "You look stunning in that."

Kirihara didn't fully get why Niou was okay with wearing a dress that girly. Maybe it was just his kink. Yes, that had to be it.

The devil's mind froze along with the rest of his body when Shiraishi approached him with a soft smile and the words, "You're beautiful, Akaya." He unfroze when Niou let out a wolf-whistle and grinned. Kirihara gave the silver-haired boy a malicious glare, winding up to backhand him.

Wait. Backhand? Not punch? Now that he thought about it, he had an uncharacteristic urge to grab that little rattail and yank it off as painfully as possible.

Oh god, the dress was turning him female. He whirled around and raced back upstairs to tear it off and burn it before he lost any more man points, Marui and Jackal's hard work be damned. He heard Shiraishi chuckle quietly behind Niou's loud laughing and couldn't stop another blush.


I wanted to post something and I came up with this little cracky thing. It's based off this absolutely LOVELY picture my friend did, which also happens to be why this came into being.

hinata-teh-lefty . deviantart . com/art/Delicious-Lolitas-by-Marui-259023429 (You'll have to take the spaces out from between the dots, sorry!)