Games

The word "poop" makes the genre humor.

... Another one of those pointless little!Ed, Al and Winry oneshots. They're so fun to write, and yet, I can never find a good way to end them... They're so RANDOM.


Ed dragged the limp body of his enemy out of the mineshaft. Al followed obediently behind him like a puppy waiting for a treat. Ed's lips parted in a slow, dramatic smile.

"Citizens of Poopsville--" (here, Al giggled) "--I, the Awesome Alchemist, have captured the evil guy in the mines! You can all live in peace now!"

The crowd cheered wildly. It seemed that everyone in Poopsville-- men, women, children, cats (Den was taking a bath, but Al had found a perfectly good stray cat to play a part in their game; what was a town without pets, right?)-- was gathered there to greet the two famous alchemists who'd saved their humble town.

Al tugged on Ed's sleeve. "What about me?" he whispered.

"Oh, right," Ed said with a strict nod. "My brother, Slightly-Less-Awesome Alchemist (1), helped. Kinda."

"Edward and Alphonse Elric, we are so grateful for your help! Would you like to have dinner with us?"

"Thank you so much for your offer, Mrs... Um... Al, what's her name?"

"Mrs. Fatisha!" (2) Winry shouted, sounding alarmed. She slammed the screen door behind her and practically sprinted down the steps into her own front yard. She gave Ed and Al a pointed glare. "Why do you always take my dolls?!"

"They aren't dolls," Ed said. "They're our cheering fans."

"Cheering fans...?"

"Yeah," said Al. "We're state alchemists and we captured the evil guy from inside the mineshaft. He was making trouble." Ed nodded and held up a battered green rabbit by its ears.

The look of annoyance that had been firmly planted on Winry's face since the second she'd opened the door melted away to reveal pure horror. "My bunny!" she shouted. "Give him back! I've had him since I was a baby!"

"Nuh uh!" said Ed. "We have to turn him in to the city jail! And then we're eating at Mrs. Whatever's house, 'cause she invited us--"

"I hate you so much!" Winry roared. "Stop taking my dolls to play your stupid state alchemist games! Besides, that's not even what it's like to be in the military! It's dangerous, and you might... um... Get hurt, or, um, die or something!"

Ed groaned. "Winryyy... You're so boring... That's why we never play with you! Besides, this isn't the real military... It's a game! A really, really fun game. I never said that I was gonna join the real military!"

"You could still get hurt," Winry said stubbornly. "Anything involving the military could get you hurt. You could break your leg, or, um, or your arm."

Ed rolled his eyes. "Playing with dolls and rabbits?" Winry glared. "How could I break a bone? You're so weird, Winry."

"Yeah," said Al with a giggle. "You're weird!"

Winry growled under her breath. She marched over and plucked her bunny from Ed's arms.

"Hey!" Ed objected. "Don't! He'll escape if he's not held secure by someone strong! He'll terrorize the town again!"

Winry stuck out her tongue. "I'm taking Bunny, and Mrs. Fatisha, and the rest of my dolls, back inside where they belong."

Ed spit on her shoe.

"Ew, gross! Ed, what was that for?! You're so mean!"

"Stupid Winry! That's what you get for taking our toys when we're just starting to have fun!"

"But these are MY dolls!"


(1) A bit too much Mird-humor there... :/

(2) "SOPHIE SOPHIE SOPHIE, I'M WRITING A STORY AND I NEED A NAME FOR A DOLL." "UM UM UM MOLLY." "... NO THAT'S LAME." "UM UM UM OKAY HANNAH." "FHDGKSJFAKSG ALSO LAME." "OKAY, FATISHA." "... YESSSSS."

It's amazing how interesting violence is to little boys... And how interesting the word "poop" is to little kids in general. :/ Of course, I love the word "poop," too, so I shouldn't be talking. Heh.