I'm Sure When I'm Older I'll Understand
A/N: Hey peeps I wrote this one shot because I this one line in the film Prince Caspian really annoys me. So I thought I would write something that explained why Lucy said it and this was what I came up with. Slightly angsty, but good I think. Let me know if you agree with me about this line or if it is just me. And if you do agree with me I want to know if you think I came up with a good reason for it or not.
(*_*) (*_*) (*_*) Enjoy (*_*) (*_*) (*_*)
Lucy was annoyed, even her siblings had forgotten that she was fifteen years older than her young body portrayed.
She could just about cope at school, she kept her head down and made sure that she was never the first to finish all the work and that there were always a few common mistakes. It was annoying but it was worthwhile.
She was 23 when she went back to Narnia, but she seemed to be the only one acting her real age.
Peter was acting against Aslan. That was something Lucy could never understand, she had been annoyed to be back in Spare Oom, but she was happy to wait the rest of her life to see Aslan again. And then they were back in Narnia and she let her foolish, stupid family lead her away. Aslan had never said but she knew deep down that if she had followed the great lion then less people would have died. They weighed more heavily on her then anything else.
Susan had tried to go back to being an ordinary young English girl, so it was no surprise to Lucy when she had acted like a foolish teenager with a crush on the young Prince Caspian. Susan seemed so young to Lucy. Although she was the second eldest Lucy thought that she had become the youngest. Peter had de-aged a bit with all the stupid fights he got into. If he really was an adult like he continually said then he would have been able to just ignore it.
Edmund, Lucy thought acted like he was younger than Lucy but still older than his young body. He was not the Just King that the people of Narnia loved.
Lucy was still shocked whenever she saw herself in a mirror, she worked a lot at the Professor's to regain her balance, everything was bigger than it should be; including her siblings.
Peter, aged 30, looked 16 and acted like he was 19.
Susan, aged 27, looked 15 and acted like she was 12.
Edmund, aged 25, looked 12 and acted like he was 15.
'And then there's me' Lucy thought 'aged 23, looks 9 and hopefully acting like a 23 year old pretending to be 9 and with any luck doing a good job of it'
Only Aslan and, sometimes, Edmund seemed to understand how she felt. Peter acted like he was fighting because he agreed with the way her but deep down she knew that if he truly felt his correct age he would act more like the king he was.
After coming out of the wardrobe into Spare Oom Lucy had noted everyone seemed to loose what made them Kings and Queens apart from her, maybe that was because she had been there before all of them, maybe it was because she had the most faith or maybe, just maybe, it was because as she fell she prayed to Aslan for advice and his comfort in this new, old, world.
But anyway for whatever reason she had become a 22 year old in an 8 year old body and that year had been the hardest, but when they had been pulled back she finally thought that her brothers and Susan were going to remember who they really were and act like it. However it was not to be.
Peter was even worse because, as he saw it, someone was trying to take his place. But Lucy saw the truth.
Unlike while they were reigning and the people cheered because they were loved, these Narnian's cheered because they felt they had to. They had left them but they were still Kings and Queens the loyalty was forced and the Narnian's blamed them for what had happened.
Narnia was a different country now. Their Narnia was long gone and Peter couldn't see that, he was still the High King over all Kings past, present and future. But he was no longer the reigning King. That was Caspian.
She had been annoyed when she had been sent away from the battle like a child - like the nine year old that she portrayed. She was Queen Lucy the Valiant. She was the one who went into battle not Susan, Susan had wanted to run away to begin with and leave Tumnus and all the Narnian's to their fate. Something, that although Peter and Edmund seemed to forget she never did.
She was the fighter. The Valiant not the Gentle fought for her country. The Gentle was in chare of organising the balls, she stayed in the castle.
When Susan kissed Caspian, Peter looked at her as though he expected her to be surprised and disgusted, but – as even Peter had forgotten – Lucy was not a 9 year old who thought that boys were the most disgusting things. Lucy had done her share of courting. 'But' she inwardly told herself 'needs must'
"I'm sure when I'm older I'll understand" She said trying to keep the contempt out of her voice and only just managing. Trumpkin saw though it, he had seen he for who she truly was from the beginning - a Queen of Lore, a woman trapped in a body a decade and a half too young for her. He was the only one, apart from Aslan, who saw through her cracking mask.
Edmund muttered something which made her insides boil "I'm older and I don't think I want to understand"
She knew why Peter and Susan couldn't come back it wasn't that they were too old for Narnia as Aslan had said, it was that Narnia had moved on and they hadn't moved with it. Peter was stuck in the glory days and Susan – Lucy thought – didn't have her eyes open at all times for Aslan, almost as though she was pushing him out of her life.
But Edmund, the one who Aslan had saved, he had lost himself as well. They were leaving Narnia again and he acted like a kid who had never kissed anyone before, not like King Edmund the Just who danced with most ladies at every ball.
Lucy sighed as she turned back to see Aslan's face one last time.
'Go on my valiant child, I will see you again' She heard in her head, turning away from the lion and from Narnia she walked into the station, into her child's body again. Maybe they would remember and maybe they wouldn't but whatever happened was the Lion's Will and that was something she would never argue or contest.
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Well what do you think, did I do a good job. I tired to portray the characters with a mix of the book and the film. But the story is obviously mainly based on the film-verse
REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
