Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot and some OC's.

Chapter 1: Numb

Amy couldn't help but let a few tears slip out of her eyes as she folded up the letter and put it in an envelope addressed to her hero. 'I wish one day I could've been the one you want, the type of girl you need.'

A tear fell onto the name, smudging it a bit. She didn't notice as she walked outside and put the letter in her mailbox, flag up.

Then she disappeared down the road with just a small bag swung over her shoulder.


That was the last time anyone saw Amy, but it took about a week to actually notice her missing presence.


Tails was in his workshop working on his latest gadget, when he felt a breeze fly past him then a thump on the couch.

"Hey Sonic, where you been? Haven't seen you in like a week or two." Tails asked not even looking up.

"You know, around." Sonic said with a short yawn.

"Avoiding Amy again?" Tails asked with an amused grin.

"Well if she'd just get the hint," Sonic sighed loudly. "I mean how can one person be so-" there was a knock on the door.

"Who could that be?" Tails stopped his work and looked at the clock. "Must be the mail, but we haven't gotten any in about a week."

He walked over to the door. "Hey Chester, why has there been no mail for the last week?"

"I'm sorry," Chester said his voice adenoidal. "I've been out sick for a week, here you go." He handed Tails the stack of letters. "Enjoy."

Tails closed the door as he sorted through the mail. As he walked passed Sonic he dropped the bigger stack on his chest.

"Thanks bud," Sonic said with a chuckle. "Let's see...junk...fan mail...junk...junk...hmm, what's this? There's no return address."

Sonic was now sitting up completely alert. He slid his finger under the flap opening it slowly, wary of it being some kind of trap.

"Who's it from?" Tails asked when Sonic was silent a little too long. "It's weird that there wouldn't be a return address."

"I think it's Amy."

"What's it say?" Tails came over noticing the muted tone of Sonic's voice.

'Dear Sonic,

I know I've been acting a bit crazy, but you've given me a taste of something I can't compare to anything. I don't know what you're expecting of me, every step that I take is another mistake to you. You might as well save your breath, cause I won't listen. I know there's a million and one reasons I should give you up, but I'm not alive until I hear your voice or see your face. Like they say, the heart wants what it wants, and that's you. Then you get me shining like Venus in the sky, but then you disappear and make me wait. And the thing is I'm tired of waiting, my heart is breaking every time you run away.

I've become so numb, that even when you're there I can't feel you anymore. I'm just so tired, I'm becoming THIS and all I want is to be more like me and not like you. I know I can't be the one you want and I guess I just wish you could see me. I have to leave, get out of here for awhile so I can hopefully get my head straight. Everything has just fallen apart, I just don't know how I can fix this hole you've left me with. And every second I waste thinking about this is more than I can take. I know this won't make it to you until after I've already left, so you don't have to worry one bit. I am completely safe.

Amy'

Sonic couldn't explain why he felt like he'd been punched in the gut, leaving him breathless.

"Wow...I never..." Tails couldn't form a thought in his brain about this.

"She left?" Sonic said when it finally sank in, it felt like he was in a vice. "Why would...what if...I can't..." He felt like he was winded, which was a new sensation for him. "Do you think she was forced to leave?"

"From the looks of it, no." Tails said softly.

Sonic felt like his chest had seized up and he could no longer breathe. "I have to find her."

"Sonic wait!" Tails yelled pulling the blue speedster just before he could bolt. "You don't even know where she went, and I don't know if it's a good idea to go on a wild goose chase when you're needed here."

"But..." Sonic looked like a kicked puppy in that moment. "I never realized her feelings...were real."

"Well I'm certain she will come back," Tails assured his brother. "For now you need to focus on your duty as a hero."


Shadow walked up to the thick forest, he couldn't comprehend why he was even going in here. Some of the locals near where he lived told him about a strange sound emanating from within. They all thought the forest to be haunted, because there was a shrill crying from within.

Today when he got to the entrance he couldn't hear a sound, not even the animals seemed to make a sound. It was as if the whole forest were holding it's breath.

'That's strange,' he mused to himself as he walked into the woods. As he was nearing the two mile marker he could smell what he could only assume was blood. He hurried forward until it was overpowering, and came upon the broken form of a familiar pink hedgehog.

"Amy?" He got the barest of a flicker from her eyes, which were glazed over. She lay in a pool of her own blood. He had the strongest urge to pummel a certain faker. As her eyes slipped closed he panicked and gathered her quickly into his arms, before using chaos control to get home.

When he got inside he quickly staunched the bleeding with gauze, he noticed how pale she was as he lay her on the couch. He knew it was just the beginning of a very long recovery.

He ended up calling someone he knew he could trust and wouldn't say anything.


He kept her on the couch, because it was an easier access right now.

When there was a knock on the door, he nearly didn't touch the floor as he raced to answer it.

He swung the door open. "Is there a reason you called?"

"Just come in." He said roughly.

"Why so urgent?" She asked rolling her eyes.

"You've had more medical training than me," he said leading her over to the couch.

"What happened?" She asked her mask of indifference falling.

"I found her lying in her own blood," Shadow said through his teeth. "I can't even fathom what drove her to this point."

"You mean they're self inflicted," she asked.

"Rouge there is no other explanation." He said pinching the bridge of his nose. "The only reason I can think of is, faker."

"Why would she do this..." Rouge sighed heavily. She unwrapped the gauze and put some stitches on the wounds, as she tried her best to clean the wounds. "Where else did you wrap?"

"Her stomach and thighs."

Once everything was done, Rouge looked at Amy solemnly.

"They were pretty nasty, some had some dirt in them." She sighed. "They may become infected, which means she could get a fever and all you'll be able to do is keep her cool and hydrated."

"Ok," he said as he showed her out. "Thanks."

"Any time Shad," she winked at him.

"Don't say anything to anyone," Shadow said glancing back at Amy. "It's her story to tell, when she's ready."

"I get it." She waved as she walked out.


The last thing Amy remembered was finding the large rusted hunting knife on her walk then gray fuzziness took over. She remembered going to sleep and no pain. Now all she felt was pain and the urge to throw up.

She quickly rolled to the side and vomited onto the floor. When she finished she opened her tired eyes, and panic struck her she didn't know where she was.

She sat up too quickly and the room swayed, and she ended up on the floor.

"I see you're finally awake," a voice said she glanced over, tears of pain in her eyes.

"Sh-Shadow?" She asked her voice thick, she didn't realize she was laying in vomit until he came over.

He sighed as he pulled her to him. "Come on let's get you cleaned up." He guided her slowly to her feet, and then brought her towards the bathroom.

"Where am I?" She asked groggily.

"My house," he said as he set her on the toilet. She swayed dangerously as he turned on the faucet to fill the tub.

"H-how long have I...been here?" She asked her throat hurting from the exertion.

"A week and a half," he replied. "You've been battling a fever from the wounds you sustained, I'm fairly certain self inflicted." He gave her a disapproving glare. "You will carry the scars forever."

Tears filled her eyes once more as she was filled with shame.

"Undress," her face flamed red at his order. "You need to get cleaned up."

"B-But..."

"Grow up I just want you clean," he rolled his eyes. She slowly did as told. Without actually looking at her he placed her in the tub, and handed her some girly scented soaps. "Call when you're finished and I'll come get you."

And he left the room, she sat there for a bit just soaking in what she'd learned from Shadow. She looked to the left and caught a glimpse of herself in the floor length mirror. She looked like death.

"I bet he doesn't even miss me," she mumbled to herself. She considered drowning herself then, it wouldn't take too long considering how emaciated she was.

There was a soft knock. "Amy you've been awfully quiet."

"I'm really tired," she said as loudly as her parched throat would allow.

The door opened a crack. "Do you require help?" He stuck his head in, looking only at her eyes.

Amy felt awful, but she nodded.

"You know I'm only here to help," he said as he came in and knelt in front of the tub. As he was washing her up he talked with her. "When I found you, you looked so close to death."

She flinched at that. "Why did you even save me?"

"Because believe it or not, I do have a heart." Shadow said glancing sideways at her, a hint of amusement in his usually cold eyes. "You're my friend, at least in my eyes."

She couldn't believe he thought of her like that. She couldn't even imagine Sonic helping her like this.

"You're a good friend," she said softly.

"Ok I'm all done," he said as he lifted her out and began to dry her off. "I've got some clothes for you, they might be big though since they belong to me." He handed her a large t-shirt and some pajama bottoms.

Once she was dressed he lifted her and brought her to his bed. "You can stay here until you're completely better." He turned to leave, but she stopped him.

"I'm kind of thirsty," she blushed as her stomach rumbled showing how empty it was.

"I'll get you some water and some soup." He said leaving.

Amy couldn't believe how nice Shadow was being, she was certain she'd annoyed him too much to ever get his help like this. She then looked down at her wrists, which were covered in gauze once more she didn't even realize he'd wrapped them. She pulled the gauze off and stared at the angry red lines that adorned them.

"Those aren't the only ones you made," he said softly. She jerked in surprise. "There's also one on your stomach, a few on your thighs." The look he gave her made her stomach flop uncomfortably. Tears sprang to her eyes once again.

She buried her face in her hands as she sobbed. He placed the tray he was holding on the end table next to her.

"When you feel up to it please eat," he said in a soft pleading tone, then he was gone again.

"Why can't I do anything right?" She asked herself. "God I'm so useless. Can't even kill myself correctly."


Shadow fell onto the couch feeling exhausted, and also glad that she finally woke up. There were moments he was sure he would lose her when the fever would spike too high. He was glad he was able to get Rouge to come back and help a couple times. He remembered each time it would seem like she'd woke up screaming, it was the only times he could get liquid down her throat.

It wasn't the first time he wondered what would drive her to this. He had never seen even a hint of depression in the normally bubbly and happy girl.

Suddenly he heard a crash coming from his room, he sprinted for all he was worth. What he saw when he flung open the door made his stomach drop to the floor.

She'd found a letter opener and had it poised to plunge into her chest, her tray on the floor splattered everywhere. He ran to the bed and grabbed her hands, trying to wrestle it from her hands as she screamed and thrashed.

"Please I want to die!" She cried, her voice so broken it nearly stopped him in his tracks.

Finally he was able to get it away from her, he flung it to an unseen corner in the room. He pinned her to the bed, both of them breathing hard from the effort.

"Why are you doing this?" He asked, but it sounded more like a desperate beg.

"Because I don't deserve to live anymore," she spat her eyes angry, her tone hurt and broken. "It's not like anyone would really care."

His grip tightened just the slightest, and he shook the bed angrily. "You are so far passed wrong." He growled, her face going blank in confusion. "I've seen you with your friends, there's no excuse for this."

"I-" his sharp look cut her off.

"Amy Rose listen good," he ground out. "You are a good person, and I don't think he deserves one bit of your love."

She gasped, eyes wide. "H-How-"

"Why wouldn't this be about him?" Shadow asked bluntly. "He's the only person that could make you go to such extremes. But please don't think you don't deserve the life you were given. There will always be someone who cares for you, you just need to open your eyes."

She stared at him her eyes shining. "Ok." Was all she said, her voice extremely small.

"Now can I trust you, or should I go ahead and tie you down?" He asked seriously, still angry.

"I-I won't," she said her voice wavering.

"Good." He said letting go. He walked to the other side of the room in search of the opener. "In the meantime I'm going to empty my room of harmful things."

She zoned out then, she lay there listless. Soon she was unconscious again.


She couldn't see or hear anything, all she knew was that if whomever was pulling on her didn't stop they would rip her in half.

There was only one thing registering in her mind then. "Mine!"

She knew in order to stop the pulling she'd have to choose a side, but she couldn't for the life of her think which one was right.