And now for something completely different! An (in real life) acquaintance of mine has written a "b26" Reborn fanfiction (one of the weirdest shipping names I've heard since "Neapolitan"). Yes, it's Phoenix of Starlight's (A.K.A. Chibiko's) "A Royal Meeting," which I very much enjoy trolling. This shall be a Rule 63'd version written by me and a friend, meaning all characters are genderbent. Meaning we shall have Y-U-R-I!

UPDATE 8/15/11: Fixed some errors and rewrote some bits. Cleaned it up a bit and changed rating to 'M'

Commence Lulz in 3… 2… 1…

X_.Ò-A-Ò._X

"So you want me to take the kid in?" asked a voice from the small blue device. It was obscured by raging static, making the speaker nearly overpowered if not for his commanding voice.

"Yes, if it would be quite convenient. You DO need a Mist Guardian, correct?" came the calm response.

"Yeah, yeah. I just have to feed the kid, right?"

"As long as he's taken care of I'll be satisfied."

"Alright. I'll make sure one of the trashes take care of him."

"Thank you."

"Scum."

"I-" Mukuro was cut off by the steady beeping of his phone, and despite the other's rude departure, he smiled brightly at his companion. "Fran!" he called to the teal haired boy, who seemed reluctant to tear his eyes from his book.

"…What, Master?" asked the boy, snapping the book shut and holding it under his arm. Mukuro stifled a chuckle at the title: The Princess and the Frog.

"Hmm? Reading a romance novel, my young apprentice? I didn't know you would ever be the type for romance… Oh, the things we could have done…" Mukuro teased Fran in almost a sing-song voice, though mumbling the last part.

"Yeah, whatever. What's up?" asked Fran oblivious to Mukuro's statement.

"Xanxus says you can join the Varia!" exclaimed Mukuro.

"Yay," cheered Fran sarcastically, "so you're putting me up for adoption?"

Mukuro glanced at his apprentice and his emotions did an about-face. Fran may have always seemed to others as stoic, but Mukuro knew that Fran really felt like a kicked puppy on the inside. I wish I could cheer him up… Maybe I can make our parting special. Hmm… Oh! Of course! He'll be with that lot anyway, so he should be fine. Mukuro's countenance was graced with a mischievous smile.

"M-master?" Fran notice his mentor's grin and immediately felt uneasy. "What's on your mind?"

"…Fran." Mukuro's grin faded and was replaced with a serious expression. "You may not see me for a while. I want you to remember me, so we'll make these next moments special, okay?" He grabbed Fran by the shoulders and pinned him to the wall. He felt Fran tense. "Relax; it'll be good, alright?"

"Master…" Fran sighed as all faded to black.

X_.-._X

The First Day

Why… WHY… WHY! WHY THE FUCK WOULD HE DO THIS TO ME! Fran was, needless to say, in a dilemma. "'We'll make these next moments special' my ass!" Fran hissed as he- no, she entered the building. Yes, Fran was now a girl. Not just any girl though; a schoolgirl, complete with her sailor siut uniform and rectangular schoolbag (which she never remembered buying). She looked mostly the same, save for her now slightly larger chest and disturbing lack of "Little Fran". The short teal hair that fell to her shoulders and her small stature screamed one thing: LOLI.

Fran's footsteps echoed in the endless hall, and she was on high alert, for no one had been there to welcome him in. The door was open, they should be more careful. It's their own fault if they don't want me here! Lost in her thoughts Fran didn't notice the figure popping around the corner. "GAAH!" Fran was so startled by this person that her fear knocked her to the floor right onto her ass. The moment she looked up she looked straight back down. Is that thing even human? Fran was appalled, and rightly so, for what stood before her was clearly a wannabe porn star.

Her head was shaved crudely, save for a single green bang. She wore star-shaped glasses and a pink apron with Valentine's Day style hearts. However, the scariest part was that the apron happened to be the ONLY thing she was wearing. Fran could simply feel the woman undressing her with her eyes.

I suppose if not for her hair, that rapist expression, that VERY uncomfortable aura she radiates, and my current lack of a penis, she would be fairly attractive. She shook the thought out of her head. ...Honestly, how depraved am I! Fran dared to raise her head and glance at the woman. This must be that super-lesbian I've heard about. ...Where did I hear that again? Before Fran's thoughts could continue, they were interrupted by the nearly bald woman.

"OMG! You're so CUTE!" squealed the woman, glomping Fran on the floor and squishing her breasts against Fran's. Fran's hand flew up from the force of the glomp and landed right on the woman's naked ass. "OH! Slow down tiger! I don't even know your name yet!"

Fran drew her hand back and blushed fiercely. Clenching her teeth, her eyes burned holes in the other's head. "Get. Off. Of. Me!"

"Ne," pouted the naked girl, "you're no fun at all, aren't you?" She reluctantly crawled off of Fran, but not without sneaking a kiss on the forehead and smiling widely.

"I'm the replacement for the Mist Guardian, Mammon," growled Fran, teeth still shut tightly.

"Aw~ so you're staying here with us? That's wonderful!" cheered the bald one, "So, what's the name of our new little Mist Guardian?" she gushed.

"Fran," spat the teal haired girl, finally unclenching her teeth. "You?"

"I'm Lussuria~ the Varia's mother!" she sang out.

"Mother…?" questioned Fran, almost afraid of the answer.

"I'm the sun guardian and the doctor, so people call me the Varia's mother~!" explained Lussuria with her finger to her lips.

"That's not disturbing at all…" Fran replied sarcastically.

"I know, right! I'm glad you understand Fran-chan!"

"Yeah, s- wait, FRAN-CHAN?" I don't even know you!

"Yeah, I mean it fits such an adorable little tsundere like you! You're just so ADORABLE~!" Lussuria squealed again.

"I'mma walk away now…" muttered Fran, slinking away from the super-lesbian. That was scary… I don't think I can handle this job…

"!" an abrupt scream erupted through the air, and Fran immediately covered her ears, but to no avail. She passed out.

X_.-._X

Princess the Ripper was walking through the hall when she noticed someone lying on the ground a few yards away. She must have passed out after that idiot's shriek. Well, it's her fault for passing out and looking so helpless! The strange blond bent over the girl, giving her a firm shake. "No use~ I hope she isn't dead, it's more fun while they can still scream your name." The princess carefully picked up her new toy and cradled her in her arms. Her giggle was sinister she walked off with her toy, "Time for fun~ Ushishishishi…"

X_.-._X

The Second Day

Fran slowly open her eyes and upon seeing red, tried to flail around, only to find herself tied to a rather large bed in a VERY red room. She caught a strange essence in the air, and scrunched her nose. What is that SMELL? And why am I tied to a bed? Fran stopped squirming enough to hear a muffled chuckle that seem to come from the room itself.

"Ushishishishi… got a headache? That's no surprise, after that session. Kinda disappointing to see you awake though, that means you could've been conscious for it." The mysterious voice sent chills down Fran's spine, and she was too concerned with the location of her captor to worry about her position or the possible circumstances for why she was in it. She didn't ponder for very long though, as a figure walked out from under the shadows. Fran examined her closely. Her blonde hair was tied in two pigtails reached to the middle of her back. Her bangs covered her eyes like a veil, which simply added to Fran's fears. She was in the process of fixing her gothic blouse and was eying Fran with the most intense of stares. She could feel it.

She squealed suddenly, "Oh, you look so helpless! So moe~!"

"W-who are you?" Fran stuttered, terrified.

"Shishishishi… Princess the Ripper."

"Okay then… Princess the Ripper, please untie me." Fran seethed. She ceased her struggling; the burns from her coarse bindings felt like fire.

"Oh come on Froggy~! I dun wanna!"

"It doesn't matter if- Wait… Froggy?" Fran's eyebrow arched in confusion at the blonde before him.

"Green hair, green eyes, it's only fitting, right?" Princess the Ripper began to untie her loli. She had to admit, it was a bit odd having this conversation with someone tied to a bed (and with whom you have just thoroughly raped while they were unconscious).

Fran was too angry at her new nickname to think of the events prior and responded vigorously, "No way! You can't call me that! It doesn't suit me at all!"

The gothic blonde smirked, "A peasant's opinion doesn't matter."

"PEASANT!"

"Now look here, it isn't nice to just repeat everything the princess says. Be original!"

Fran gritted her teeth. Dumb blonde...

Fran took a deep breath. "Why was I tied to the bed?" she asked after regaining her composure and cradling her wrists awkwardly.

"Shishishi~ because I'm lonely…" she replied, bringing a finger to her lips and pouting.

Composure lost. Unhinging jaw in 3… 2…

"Ushishishishishishishishi~! You should see your face!" …1. The princess doubled over in laughter. Fran's face was red with pure embarrassment.

"I wish I were back with Master Mukuro… even if this is his fault."

The princess flinched and quieted herself. "Mukuro?" she echoed.

"Master Mukuro Rukudo is my illusions master. I miss him." Fran pulled her knees to her chest, hugging them tight. The frightening princess rose slowly.

"I know him," said the princess, "he beat Mammon in the battle for the rings."

"Did he," muttered Fran, lost in her thoughts. "Hm."

"Ne, ne, don't be like that," pouted the princess. She reminded Fran of Mukuro. Those last moments with him… up against the wall… Fran shivered at the memory. She noticed. "What's your relationship with him?"

"He's my illusions master. Nothing more to it." At least, I think. I hope so.

"So you aren't… lovers, fuck-buddies, or even 'friends with benefits' then?" pressed the princess quite literally, as she touched her forehead to Fran's, almost revealing her eyes.

"NO!" cried Fran. Her answer made the other's lip's curl up into a Cheshire grin.

"So, then you wouldn't mind if I… kissed you?"

"GAAHH!" Fran backed away instinctively, and bashed her head into the headboard. "ITAI!" Her hands flew to her head and her face scrunched up in pain.

"Ushishishi… Ne, Froggy, those faces are simply HILARIOUS."

"Hey! Don't joke about my pain! Or my face! What are you, a sadist?"

"Shishishi~ it's simply the princess's nature."

"Sure… Look, I can't be expected to take you seriously if I call some blonde gothic Lolita rapist 'princess,' so what's your real name?" Before Fran could process the "rapist" bit and be angry (and somewhat disturbed) by it, the blonde replied.

"Annabelle," she replied, "but you really should address me as 'princess,' 'senpai,' or 'onee-sama.'"

"Hm."

"I'm serious! I have royal blood!"

"Hm."

"Stop that!" Or else I'm diving beneath your loli skirt again!

"Why, does it get on your nerves?" Initiate monotone.

"Shut up!" I'm so tying her up in public next time I rape her…

"Hm."

"You can't talk if my lips are on your face~"

"That's cheating!"

"Is not!"

"Is to!"

"Don't be such a tsundere!"

"Who's the one who just raped me?"

"That makes me mature!"

"Does not!"

"Does t-"a faint yet familiar giggling could be heard from the door, and the pair turned to find Lussuria standing in the doorway.

"Oi! Out of the princess's room!" shouted Annabelle.

"Sorry, Bel-chan, it's just… you two are so cute together!"

"SHUT IT, SUPER-LESBIAN!" yelled the two in unison, resulting in their glares being redirect from Lussuria to each other. Lussuria giggled her naked ass away and shut the door behind her.

Fran sighed heavily and hugged her knees. Master... What have you done to me? She felt a chill run up her spine. ...Wait that's not a chill...

Annabelle somehow managed to sneak behind Fran and was walking her fingers up her back and breathing on her ear.

"So... would you like to be conscious this round?" whispered Annabelle.

SMACK!

"No!"

"Ushishishi... as you wish~!"

~X_.Ò-A-Ò._X~

WHERE DOES THAT CHILD GET THE MOTIVATION TO WRITE! Honestly. The reactions from Chibiko better be worth the time and effort. It might be nice if I liked or even remotely knew anything about the anime. My knowledge is solely from Chibiko's story. Perhaps if this were Durarara or Death Note, I'd be better, but shmeezus crackerjacks. Nevertheless… I shall go on~! (I must be a masochist.)

And yes. Lussuria the super-lesbian. Along with Fran the loli and Bel-Bel Amane. /mind blown