That Insufferable Mistletoe

Summary: Lily Evans completely despises whoever thought it was a spiffing idea to hang mistletoe up all over the Gryffindor Common Room and beyond while James Potter is eventually delighted.

Lily Evans yawned tiredly as she came down the stairs. She didn't even pause when she saw shaking Peter Pettigrew at the archway; she definitely didn't look up to see just what he was staring at. It was too early in the morning for her to be concerned by such things or to wonder why she could hear Sirius Black offensive tones. She heard a frightened squeak as she moved to pass Peter and then furrowed her brow in confusion as she seemed to run into an invisible wall. She tried to step back, but found that she couldn't. Her brows dipped lower as she turned, completely perplexed, to look at Peter.

"What's going on?" She wondered sleepily. Peter gave a small whimper and pointed up. This time, Lily looked up and instantly felt her tiredness be chased away by the offensive sprig. "Mistletoe." She muttered sourly. "Whose bright idea was this?" She demanded of the poor frightened boy at her side.

"I…I don't…don't know." Lily felt some of her ire be chased away as she heard Peter's stutter. Not all of it went of course, she recalled that she had heard Sirius before this. She would bet her Christmas that it was Potter or Black that had done it. She sighed and touched Peter's chin. His brown eyes widened impossibly large. She tilted his face away from her and kissed his slightly fat cheek. He blushed deeply; she smiled in what she hoped was a friendly manner before stepping away from him and walking past Potter and Black.

Meanwhile, Peter had stumbled from the entryway of the stairs, looking highly frightened of James and dazed that a girl had actually kissed him. It was on the cheek but still; it was more than he had ever gotten before. Besides, he couldn't help but feel a smug because he had gotten a kiss from Lily Evans, the one girl that James nor Sirius could ever get (though only one ever tried). Remus came clambering down the stairs, talking quietly to Rona Finnegan. As one, they were stopped by the mistletoe, but this time no one laughed or made speculations on who would have to kiss who. Remus and Rona looked up as one. Remus blushed deeply and looked away from his friend; Rona giggled uncomfortably and stood on her tiptoes. She pressed a small kiss to his cheek.

"See you later, Remus." The teen in question was frozen at the archway. Unlike Peter, he wasn't red; he was simply shocked. He blinked and seemed to come back to his senses. He hurried out from underneath the mistletoe least he be trapped again. He looked over his shoulder at the sprig and then looked toward his friends.

"What has you looking so sour, James?" Remus asked once he reached them.

"Lily kissed me on the cheek," Peter piped from beside Sirius, who was smirking slightly at James. Amusement had crinkled his grey eyes.

"Serves you right, James," Remus grumbling, "putting that damn sprig there."

"It wasn't me," James denied, truly affronted by the assumption. "Mistletoes are too tricky and completely uncaring about gender." His nose crinkled. The pieces fell into place for Remus before it did Peter; so, the roars of laughter that they let loose were slightly separated. James crossed his arms over his chest grumpily while Sirius glared viciously at his friends.

X

Lily thought she was safe from those cursed mistletoes once outside of the Common Room, but she was quickly proven wrong when she was trapped underneath another one with Marlene McKinnon. The relief on the girl's face when she saw that it was Lily made her giggle.

"Been here a while, McKinnon?" Lily asked.

"Yes. I've been screaming at Slytherins not to walk by me. Honestly, when I heard footsteps I was terrified you were Sirius Black." Lily laughed and kissed Marlene on the cheek. The mistletoe freed them from their entrapment. They walked alongside one another.

"Let's make a deal, yeah?" Lily asked as they walked toward Potions. Marlene looked over at her. "If one of sees the other trapped underneath one of the accursed things-"

"Make sure to get trapped too?" She deducted.

"Yeah," Lily finished with a nod. She crinkled her nose. "I don't fancy getting caught underneath one with Black or Potter." Marlene laughed. Like many in Hogwarts, she knew the sordid tale that was Lily and James. Civilized conversation was forced during classes, but they usually unloaded on one another in the common room. Marlene had never witnessed these moments as she wasn't in Gryffindor but Hufflepuff.

"Deal," she agreed as she pushed a lock of blonde hair over her shoulder. After that, the conversation turned to unimportant things like which Potion they thought they would be making today. McKinnon and Lily had become friends shortly after third year; when Lily realized that Marlene had no qualms with telling Potter or Black that they needed to remove their heads from their rumps. She had been much, much more colorful, of course. It was that day that Lily realized all sorts were sorted into Hufflepuff—not that she ever thought it was simply the "cast-off" house like many of the other students in Hogwarts did.

To be honest, Potter or Black weren't the worst people to be stuck underneath a mistletoe with right now; no, for Lily, that person was Severus-her former best friend. But things between them had fallen apart just a few months ago. James Potter-the magnificent tosser-had embarrassed him in front of the entire school; Lily had come to his aid; Potter had dropped him. She had tried to help him, but he hadn't wanted it. "I don't want your help, Mudblood." He had hissed. At the time, the words had been like a sharp, talon-ended whip.

Over the years, she had learned what that word meant. It was hard not to know with the Slyterhins habit of slinging it around like it was an acceptable word. She had accepted that they would say it and had turned a partially blind eye to Snape's gradual decent into the same lunacy. She had wanted to keep her first friend in her life; was that so wrong?

Yes. She had been a fool to think that Severus was going to suddenly realize the error of his ways and change. This year-even before the incident-she had realized that she couldn't turn a blind eye to him anymore. He had been spiraling deeper and deeper into the Dark Arts all year. It really shouldn't have surprised her when he turned the very word he had once adhered; and she wasn't fool enough to believe that she was the first one he had used it on.

She shook herself from those thoughts when Marlene and she reached the Great Hall. The blonde Hufflepuff split off to sit at her table while Lily headed to her own, ignoring Severus' attempt to catch her eye. She sank down beside Alice, who was trying to finish her essay for Transfiguration.

"I only have a few inches left," Alice moaned in relief. Transfiguration was one of Alice's worst subjects as her concentration was fleeting. When she tried to transfigure an object, she always lost the image right before casting the spell; so, the object was always trapped between transformations.

"That's good," Lily agreed as she piled a few sausages onto her plate. "Have you gotten caught underneath the mistletoes yet?" She asked as she buttered a piece of toast. Alice groaned, this time in indignation.

"I swear when I find whoever did that, I'm gonna…I'm gonna," she seemed to be fishing for some sort of threat. Alice slumped as Lily took a large bite out of her toast, "well…what I'm gonna do to them won't be very nice…" She muttered pathetically before returning to her essay. Lily grinned and focused on eating her breakfast, dutifully ignoring the sound of Alice's quill scratching and then pausing on parchment.

X

Lily resorted to slipping through the secret passageways of Hogwarts to get around the mistletoes after nearly being trapped underneath one with Slughorn. Marlene and Alice had worked together to save her from such a fate. Alice distracted him with conversation while Marlene slipped in front of him and trapped herself underneath the mistletoe. 'Thank God for those two,' she thought as she held her lit wand in front of her so that she could see through the narrow passage. This avoidance was only made possible by Potions being the last class of the day for her.

She knew for a fact that this passageway came out in front of the Gryffindor Common Room; she had found it accidently in third year. It had terrified her. She had just been leaning against the wall when her heavy schoolbag had pushed in the brick that opened the passageway. It reminded her vaguely of the barrier to platform nine and three quarters. There was a small button at the end of the passageway that opened the barrier up again.

She came through the passageway to a thankfully empty hallway. She didn't fancy explaining her sudden appearance to curious House members.

"Password?" The Fat Lady piped.

"Hinkypunk," Lily mumbled, looking around the corridor as if a mistletoe was suddenly going to sprout out of the ceiling. Which in all fairness, that very thing was possible. Mistletoe, once placed, could spread. The portrait swung open and Lily all but leapt through the opening; only to let out a practically violent curse as she found herself frozen once more, unable to go back or forward. She heard the portrait creak open. 'Oh…please don't be James. Please don't be James. Hell, I'll even take Sirius!' She plead, 'Just please don't let it be Potter!'

"Oh, you have got to be kidding me," she heard a familiar voice groan as he found himself trapped. She let out a curse even more violent than the last.

"Why me?" She mouthed to the ceiling. If she hadn't known that the mistletoes were impervious to fire, ice, or any form of damage, she would have tried to blast it off the ceiling before Potter noticed she was standing beside him. She couldn't help but hand it to whomever had put these things up; they made it almost impossible for anyone to get them down.

"This is getting bloody ridiculous," he complained as he looked over, expecting the person beside him to agree. She watched with dread the moment he realized it was her. His hazel eyes widened from behind wire-rimmed glasses. She sighed heavily. "Evans," he breathed. For a moment, she wondered if the mistletoe would still trap them if she tried to hex him. He was looking entirely too delighted for her comfort. Before he could get any ideas, she tilted his head violently then surged up and kissed him quickly on the cheek. She didn't wait for him to gather his bearings, she simply shot toward the girl's dorm—pecking a shell-shocked first year on the cheek so that she could pass.

Meanwhile, James stood underneath the retreating sprig of mistletoe with his hand on his cheek and a goofy grin on his lips. Remus walked in behind him, but stopped at the opening.

"Please don't tell me you're stuck," Remus muttered, staying where he was. James shook his head mutely. Remus stepped through the portrait hole tentatively. A small shout of shock escaped him as James scooped him in a hug and planted a large kiss on his cheek anyway. "I thought you said you weren't stuck," Remus grumbled unhappily as he rubbed at his cheek.

"You, Moony, are a genius!"

"I gather it worked then?" He asked as he set his bag down at the edge of the couch. James was right behind him. He nodded vigorously and all but sang:

"She kissed me on the cheek." Remus simply shorted and shook his head.

"I'm glad all of my hard work paid off then," he told James honestly as he sank down on the couch and pulled his Herbology book free from his bag. "Of course, she'll probably murder me once she finds out…" He muttered underneath his breathe. James laughed.

"It'll be worth it, mate."

"Oh, a kiss on the cheek is definitely going to worth the months I'll have to spend in the Hospital Wing," he murmured, but James didn't hear him; he was distracted by Sirius entering the portrait hole. The mistletoe had retreated completely and all through the castle, those accursed sprigs were pulling back up into the ceiling. The last sprig to vanish was the first placed—the one right above the stairwell.