Times like these – A Loveless-FanFic by namichan89
It's been a while, my dear readers, that I wrote my first fanfic – a Loveless one.
And I made a mistake yesterday. I stood before my book shelf and wondered which manga I should take to read before going to sleep – and I took the first volume of Loveless again, because I didn't take a look at those for quite some time.
Well, I had an idea, and here it is ^^
Disclaimers: Well, the usual stuff. Of course, I don't own Loveless. This story features Yaoi, adult content like maleXmale sex scenes and probably hard language. As always – don't like, don't read. Otherwise: have fun!
Kio Kaidou pushed the small button beside the entrance door. The letters on the sign were pale and worn out. However, he didn't care, because he knew who lived in this place anyway. Footsteps could be noticed through the door shortly after he heard the ringing sound of the bell.
A tall, blonde man opened the door. His long hair was gathered in a high ponytail, though a few strands of hair that had escaped it fell into his face, where they embraced the circular-shaped glasses.
„Oh, hi Kio! Didn't expect you that early," he said while stepping to the side to let the other one in.
„Aren't you happy to see me already, Soubi? But well, good afternoon," Kio sighed dramatically and smiled at his friend.
Kicking his shoes off, he entered the living room of the flat. „Where's Ritsuka?"
„Still at the university, he's got to do some research in the library, and you know how long that can take. And he wanted to buy some food on the way home," Soubi answered before returning to his atelier.
„You are still working on that project?"
„Yes, I couldn't finish it yesterday."
„You'll never change," Kio laughed, „always finish your stuff just in time and deliver it when the color is still wet..." he still chuckled as he eyed the painting. „What is it this time for?"
„For the living room of a high business man who apparently saw one of my pictures in an exhibition lately."
His former co-student whistled accretively. Soubi had really come a long way since their graduate degree, working currently as a freelance artist.
„Short change of topic, though, I came over to ask you about tomorrow. What will we do? Party here or should we go out?" he asked.
Soubi's gaze left the canvas to look into Kio's eyes. „I don't feel like throwing a big party. I think we'll stay here."
„It's your 30th birthday and you don't 'feel like throwing a big party'? Seriously?"
„Well, yes. I rather like to spend my time here with you and Ritsuka. We can have a beer or two and that's it."
„Sometimes, I don't understand you."
„No one says you have to," Soubi smiled at him, „I wonder what Ritsuka's going to present to me."
Kio rolled his eyes. „I still can't believe you haven't come to terms with him in ten years now."
„That's the way it is," the taller one simply answered before taking his brush and turning back to his painting.
Ritsuka decided to take the shortcut through the park on his way home. The leaves of the trees had turned to a beautiful deep red and orange during the past few weeks, as autumn had come once more. With a silent sigh, his eyes wandered to a small clearing, hidden in a corner of the park, where the trees stood close together. He knew that there was a wooden bench and table – the place where he had met and collected memories with Soubi for the first time. And their first kiss, of course. The thought brought a faint blush to his face.
He was shocked as he recalculated and realized that it had been ten years since then. Ten years had passed by and so much had happened in the meantime.
When he finally could state to himself, that the mental illness of his mother wasn't his fault and that he wasn't the one who should have a therapy because of that, he had decided to leave the house he he had never looked at as his real home as soon as he had come of age. That plan had worked out pretty well and he immediately had moved in with Soubi. Kio had to relocate anyway due to the job he had accepted after his studies. Soubi on the other hand was working as a freelancer from then, but with the fact that he earned more money now, he also wanted to move into a larger flat, he needed a larger atelier – that way, they had ended up in their current place.
Since that day, they spent every day with each other, sharing the flat as roommates. Living with Soubi was easy, Ritsuka had noticed. Their habits hadn't changed much since the time he had been living with Kio – he still slept in the older one's bed most of the time. His own bed was mostly covered with books and loose sheets of paper of his studies anyway, his desk couldn't hold them all.
Of course, he occasionally cleaned up when it had to be done. There had been several girlfriends in his life and they didn't like the chaos he was living in, obviously. Another short sigh escaped his lips at that thought. It never lasted long, and sooner or later, every girl had told him he was weird or didn't care enough about their relationship. He had gotten used to it.
Today was different, though. As he had wandered through the park lost in thought, he had reached the apartment building in no time. Ritsuka's gaze fell onto the windows on the second floor, where he could see Soubi painting. His atelier was there. The black-haired young man smiled to himself and grabbed into his pockets for the key.
The clicking sound of the entrance door's lock made Soubi squirm and look up from his painting.
„Soubi, I'm home!" was shouted through the rooms, followed by the muffled noise of shoes that were tossed aside.
„Welcome, Ritsuka!" he shouted back and laid his brush down on the small table beside the canvas. The painting pinafore took the same way before he made a short wave in Kio's direction, to invite him to follow. As he stepped outside the door, he opened up his hair tie to let it float down as usual – just to run into Ritsuka. The younger one stood before him, blushing and staring into his eyes. But the moment passed by quickly.
Ritsuka turned his head down to the side, the mid-long hair falling into his eyes. It was shorter than it was when they first met, but Soubi knew well enough that the black-haired man refused to let it grow – because he looked too much like Seimei that way. The older one raised his hand to nuzzle the jet black hair strands softly.
No cat ears restricted him from doing that - they hadn't for three years. Would they still be there, then his hand would be laying just between them.
„Thanks for shopping," the blonde said as he noticed the bags in the younger one's hands. „We should put it into the fridge."
„Yes, we should," Ritsuka mumbled and turned to the kitchen, where they silently began to refill the fridge. Kio had followed.
Without looking at his roommate, Ritsuka asked: „May I... uhm... cook for you tomorrow? Or do you want to go out?"
Soubi straightened up to his full hight, surprised. „No, I didn't want to go out. If you want to cook for us, I would be very happy," he smiled.
„Good, because I bought some things for tomorrow. And beer."
„The beer is all that matters!" Kio laughed from the backside of the room.
„- to you," Soubi added, still smiling.
As he looked back at the younger one, he noticed a smile there too, but it was shy and not at all Ritsuka-like. „Thank you, Ritsuka," he repeated. Something wasn't right.
A few hours later, Soubi lay in his bed, staring into the moon that shone through the windows. It felt large and way too big, as it had for the past months.
Ritsuka's good-night-wishes had been short, as they had been for the past months.
And the place beside him was cold, as it had been for the past months.
It really sucked when Ritsuka had a girlfriend. Soubi sighed quietly. He turned 30 tomorrow and he still didn't get to having a relationship with the man he loved since ten years. His small sacrifice, merely 12 years old when he first met him ten years ago, had turned into a charming young man with beautiful, gleaming black eyes. No wonder that he turned heads everywhere – and Soubi couldn't do anything about it.
Another sigh.
Suddenly, he heard a soft knock at the door. Could it be...?
There it was again, just two single, soft knocks. He hadn't just imagined them.
„Come in!"
The door opened with a creaking sound for Ritsuka to enter the room. He quickly slipped under the sheets to lay his head onto Soubi's shoulder.
„Why don't you just tell me what's up, Ritsuka? I know that something bothers you."
For a minute, the younger one didn't say a word.
„She broke up with me today. Just like that, when I finally thought it would work. You know, the whole thing, a stable relationship with a woman, and Kotoko seemed to match with me the most... and now, after over half a year, this."
„What did she say?" Soubi responded. He knew that the other one just wanted to talk, it wouldn't help to just pity him – which he did anyway. The older one decided to just pull him into a tight embrace.
„That she didn't feel like being loved by me. She said she couldn't imagine a future with me, at least not as her boyfriend. I would be nothing more than a friend to her and she didn't love me any more," Ritsuka wrapped his arms around the older one's waist and buried his head at his chest. His whole body trembled. Still a part of his childhood trauma. As Soubi gently began to stroke his back, running his hands up and down, the black-haired one slowly calmed down.
„Don't be sad, Ritsuka, it won't help. Just look into the future. Other women also have pretty daughters. And I'm there for you whenever you need me."
„I know, Soubi, I know."
„So is it okay if I say it again?"
„No, it's not. They are still forbidden words," Ritsuka sighed.
„But I am allowed to give you a good-night-kiss again?" Because you never let me when you have a girlfriend.
The younger one didn't answer, he just pulled away to look into Soubi's eyes in the dim moonlight before he closed them – and waited. How on earth should he resist those sweet, full lips presented to him like that? The blonde man leaned down and pressed his lips down on them, moving carefully and gently and maybe a bit too long for a simple peck on the mouth. Ritsuka responded to his moves pleasurably. By God, it feels good to do that again. As he pulled away, Soubi had to restrain himself from continuing this kiss.
„Good night, Ritsuka," he just said instead, his voice deep as always, but a bit husky.
The addressed one's gaze shifted to the clock on the wall and back to the blonde. „Happy Birthday, Soubi," he just answered. It was past midnight by now.
And before he could do anything about it, the younger one had laid one hand onto his neck and pulled him down into another kiss – a kiss that actually deserved to be called a kiss. Innocent and sweet, but also loving and caring, and ongoing for quite a while. Soubi felt the other one's tongue tuck at his lips, begging for entrance, which he granted gladly. His tongue enjoyed every little bit of contact that it had been denied for way too long, and he tasted Ritsuka as much as he could, with all his senses. He moved his hands restlessly on the other one's back and tried hard to keep them under control.
If he didn't stop this kiss, he wouldn't be able to promise that nothing would happen tonight.
Panting heavily, he pulled away from the younger one's seductive lips. Although he regretted it immediately, Soubi knew it had to be done.
„Thank you," he answered while still wondering, when the time would come that Ritsuka would actually realize that all his girlfriends had been nothing more than an excuse.
So, that's chapter one :) It was just an idea that came to my mind spontaneously, if you liked it – please let me know :) Leave a review or a mail, I would be very happy.
I still have no idea what will happen in chapter 2, I haven't even written it out (which is very untypical for me).
See you in chapter 2 ~ hopefully :)
*waves* namichan
