'The broken locks were a warning, you got inside my head

I tried my best to be guarded, I'm an open book instead

And I still see your reflection inside my eyes

That are looking for purpose

They're still looking for life

So I'm holding on

Holding on

Barely holding on to you.'

'Broken'

Lifehouse


"Now, if I were a white-haired midget having an existential crisis, where would I go?" Lavi wondered out loud, shifting the small bag on his shoulders as he quietly made his way through the Order's headquarters. If he made too much noise, that vigilant head nurse would find him, and he had to figure out where Allen had disappeared to. It had been a couple hours, and he was officially worried about his lover.

Besides, who the hell could rest with Krory's stomach going on like that?

The logical first choice was the kitchen. Even if he'd just found a mountain of leftovers under Allen's blanket, Lavi would not put it past the younger male to still be hungry after a battle like that.

His favorite marshmallow wasn't there, but according to Jerry, had been until almost an hour ago. "I made him up another snack and last I saw, he was heading down that way," was the reply, pointing down a side hallway.

Lavi thanked him, and headed the way directed. And as he walked, started seeing a path of discarded wrappers, plates, and scraps of food. This was definitely the right way.

But the path lead down to the science department. Had Allen gone back on the ark? If so, they'd probably be a lot more willing to let Allen on than himself. He could always pull rank, so to speak. People tended to assume he was in anything for the records; he'd just have to say the old panda sent him and they'd probably let him go anywhere.

As he entered the lab, however, the redhead found the need for an excuse unnecessary. There were only a few lab coats present, and they were buried in work. It was a clear shot to the ark gate, and he took it.

It felt a little weird being inside again, but it helped to focus on finding his quarry. The doors also had labels now. 'Well, not everyone has your memory,' he grinned to himself. But where-? The piano room, where Allen was no doubt overanalyzing his current situation. Straight down, hang a right, down two more doors and a left, and there was the door Allen had made for them to get inside.

Which had been left wide open. Timcanpy flew out, circled the visitor, and flew back inside. Confirmation.

And peering inside, found his quarry, curled up with his head down and legs pulled up to his chest on the piano bench. Those dull gray eyes looked up a moment to see who it was, then hid behind his legs again.

Lavi walked up to him, and wrapped his arms around the huddled form. "Did you think you could hide from me?"

"No," was the quiet reply. "Not you. Everyone else. Just for a little while."

"I'd say you've earned that," the redhead replied- hands sliding downwards, then coming up again, only under his lover's shirt.

"Lavi!" Allen hissed. "What if someone comes looking for us?"

"You telling me you can't make that door disappear, too?" was the confident, aroused reply.

"But still-" the other's breathing hitched when the redhead's fingers tightened around his hipbones, a small nip taken from his neck at the same time. Allen called out, a single finger of his own reaching back to hit a single piano key, and the door melted into the wall.

"I knew you'd see it my way."

"Hurry, Lavi, please."

"So many worries till I get my hands on you," the other grinned. "And so hard already," he observed of the tent in the other's pants. "You sure you're gonna last till I get myself inside you?"

"D-Don't know, but Lavi…"

The bookman's hands moved to slide low again, fingers kneading narrow hips. Allen had unconsciously started leaning back against the large instrument, barely on his feet to give the other better access as the slicked fingers slid inside him.

"God, Lavi, I can't… Need it…"

"Well, to say you've been stressed lately is kind of a massive understatement, isn't it? I… impacted that too," he added, miserably recalling his weakness at Road's hands before beating her. "I'm sorry you endured that."

"It wasn't you, Lavi. This is. Please, take me, till neither one of us can move."

"I'll take care of you, don't worry. You'll come so hard you won't know how to do with yourself," he assured the younger male, pulling a condom form his pocket.

Allen's cry was bordering on a scream when his lover thrust inside him, but paused when nothing else happened. "Lavi?"

"You all right?" he asked, concerned.

"Lavi, please," the other pleaded.

"…All right. It's not as if I can just ignore how delicious you look right now," he spoke, swallowing his worry- for now.

Allen was thrusting back on him hard, felt so amazing, it was a little while before he noticed one of his lover's hands had moved to take a grip that had to be preventing him from coming. It was something he did sometimes, claiming he didn't want it to stop that much, and it always worried the redhead that his lover was going to hurt himself like that. But Allen maintained that he knew his limits, and promised to not and to be stupid about them. But where his head was right now… "L-Lavi, I'm gonna…"

Good. The redhead thrust up hard as the other let go of himself, and at that beautiful, beautiful sight of his lover completely losing it and while splayed out like that, he was able to let go as well. "That was so hot."

"Then you aren't the one whose legs are about to give out," the younger male managed, and Lavi moved to help him sit again. "We… Er, I kinda made a mess, huh?"

"Don't worry, I brought cleaner and towels," was the cheerful reply, gesturing to the bag left forgotten on the floor till now.

"You were expecting this?" the white-haired male asked, eyebrow arched.

"Not expecting. Really, really hoping, though. Like seriously, even before the thing here, how long had it been?"

"Like two days, Lavi, seriously."

"No way. It had to be at least a week."

"Two days. Help me clean up then, huh?"

While Lavi finished cleaning up, Allen's attention returned to the piano. His hands reached out to play the familiar tone, like he wasn't even aware he was doing it, just perfectly hitting each key as if he'd been doing so all his life. But his expression slowly turned pained as he played. Did he want to stop but couldn't? That was just too cruel.

Clean up done, Lavi came over to his lover, hugging him tightly from behind. The action startled Allen, and silenced the music. "You okay?"

Arms still half-stretched to the keys, the younger exorcist began to shake his head.

The redhead reached out again, this time to pull the other's arms closer, feeling his lover's body start to shake. "Allen," he spoke, feigning a calm he didn't feel. "There's something I want you to know. No matter what happens, I'm on your side."

"…You're not supposed to have a side," the other replied, voice sounding of tears.

"I'm not," the bookman agreed. "But from the moment I met you, I knew your side was the one to be on."

There was a sound between a scoff and a sniffle. "I was unconscious."

"Even so, but while Komui was repairing you, you were cussing him out pretty hard."

"I was?"

"Yeah. Pretty sure you even invented some new ones. Komui was pretty surprised. 'Course, I didn't get why until you woke up. Polite, calm, the exact opposite of what you'd just shown. I realized that you wear a mask too, and… that was when I started falling in love with you."

"…You wouldn't if you knew why I do it."

"Try me. It can't be worse than it's expected of you."

"…It's how Mana acted. I was… a rude, obnoxious brat, and after… I guess I just adopted his personality to cope."

"Well, people do respond better to manners, just like they respond better to friendliness than a complete lack of interest."

"You have to force yourself to be friendly?"

Position starting to hurt, Lavi moved to sit beside Allen on the bench, facing the opposite way. "It's an ingrained habit at this point, like I imagine being polite is for you. It's funny when you let yourself show, but when I slip, it tends to get me hit. And sometimes I have to pretend I don't care when I do, which also gets me hit. Recently by Lenalee."

"…Do I want to know?"

"When you were taken in by the Asian Branch, they didn't tell us your condition, just that you were in their custody for the time being. Lenalee didn't want to leave without you, but we had to go, so…"

"You were a dick."

Lavi snorted. "The old man was standing right there; I couldn't empathize. I just hoped she'd understand, and… she didn't. Eventually, yes, but damn, that woman's fists hurt."

Allen laughed. "She does it out of love."

"Yeah," the redhead chuckled. "I know."

Allen reached over to take one of Lavi's warm hands in his own. "No matter what happens, huh?" he asked quietly. "What if I'm a Noah?" He looked up to find his lover looking at him with a surprised expression. "It's crossed my mind, so I know it's crossed yours at least once."

"…It has," the other admitted. "But we don't know anything for certain yet. We'll cross that bridge when and if it comes."

"Is that you or the forced optimism?"

"Honestly, a little of both. We can only take it as it comes and adjust as necessary. Okay?" he asked after a moment, leaning to the side to try and catch his lover's gaze. Allen wouldn't bite so Lavi reached up his other hand to gently push the gray gaze to his own. "Okay?"

"…Okay."

"Wanna stay here awhile or go back? Looks like you still have plenty of food."

"It'll do till I get back."

"Surprised you're not getting mad at Timcanpy for stealing," the bookman noted of the golem rummaging through the bag. Now that he thought about it, though, Allen was usually sharing food with him, be it his choice or not. That little golem was probably his best friend, he realized as Tim emerged triumphantly with a mostly-eaten chicken leg, of which Allen pulled off a piece of meat.

"No, I don't think I could ever get mad at Tim," he smiled. "That' d be like getting mad at you; not sure it's possible." He looked around at the sparse surroundings. "I kind of love it in here, and that kind of scares the hell out of me. And even being at the Order now, it's my home, but…"

"It's also the last place you want to be."

"…Yeah."

"That's not you, Allen, and since you asked, as long as you keep the rest of that sociopath family off my case, I'll go with you anywhere."

"…What if I'm a sociopath too?"

"News Flash, Allen; you already are. No 'normal' person could possibly keep shit bottled up like you do. Just remember you need to let go every now and then, okay?"

There were tears already threatening to burst out, and at the words, Allen couldn't hold back any longer, breaking down into sobs against his lover, and of course that was when a collection of footsteps was heard walking towards them outside.

"I could have sworn it was just around here." Bak Chan, the Asian Brach's section chief. Lavi didn't know how Allen felt about him.

"Ah, Bak-chan, you and your childish games." Komui. He'd be okay.

"I suggest you two stop goofing around and find the door."

Lavi's blood went cold. Allen's hand was reaching for the piano to be a good boy and let them in, but the redhead pulled it back, pulled his lover against himself, hand over the other's mouth so he couldn't ask why.

Leverrier. If that man was here… 'God, no,' he fervently prayed. 'Not Allen, please…'

The men outside conversed awhile longer, then moved along. Lavi held tight until he couldn't hear their feet anymore. "You're so scared," Allen spoke when he was allowed to. "Lavi, who was that third person?"

"Malcolm Leverrier. He's the director of the Black Order. And if he's here… Dammit, if he's here…"

"Shit just got real, huh?"

Lavi usually found it funny when the younger male let his guard down enough to cuss. Right now he was so terrified he could bring himself to even chuckle. "So real, Allen. We'll both have to watch ourselves. I shouldn't even sneak into your room at night. Komui lets us get away with so much more than he's supposed to."

"He does?"

"Well, he sees us as people, while the higher-ups just see cannon fodder."

"Their precious exorcists?" Allen asked, tone dripping with sarcasm.

"There's nothing precious about us to them."

"Lavi," the younger male cautiously asked. "What do you know that I don't?"

"I'm not telling you," was the deadpanned reply. "Not ever, no matter how much you ask."

"That bad?" Unable to reply, Lavi pulled him close again. "Okay, that bad. What do we do?"

"Wait them out, I guess," the older teen replied, relaxing his grip. "There was only three voices, but four people were walking-"

Allen hit another key. A large screen appeared on the side wall, showing their visitors on their walk.

"This ark is your bitch," the bookman noted in awe.

"Yeah," the other sighed. There were four men walking, heading back to the exit, and two that he knew. "Which one's Leverrier?"

"Moustache. I don't know the blond with him, probably one of his lapdogs."

"Looks like they're leaving," the other started grin. "How about a game before they go?"

Lavi wasn't about to stop him; he loved this devilish side of his lover. The soft lullaby began to play, and the mischief began. The bookman was amazed to find that the white-haired male didn't even have to look at the screen to know what he was doing; the doors knew what he wanted and swapped all on their own, even taking their markers with them. "Do the doors still go where they're labeled?" he asked when the music stopped.

"Yeah. They're just not going to be where they remember. Komui-san and Bak-san will forgive me once I explain. I assume they know everything about Moustache that you don't want me to as well."

"I'd be astonished if they didn't."

"They'll forgive me," he repeated confidently.

Lavi shared Allen's chuckle, hugging him from behind as they watched the group try and get their bearings. Bak was stammering, trying to lead the director and his dog, while Komui… was getting further and further back. Finally he looked upward, sending a humored but chiding look. "Uh-oh; think he's on to you."

"He thinks it's funny too," Allen snickered again, but turned to play enough that the doors went back to how they'd been.

"You haven't brought the door to this place back," Lavi noted.

The younger male turned to tightly wrap his arms around his lover's middle. "Stay her with me forever, Lavi," his soft voice asked.

"I'd love to, but you'd get hungry long before I did, and Tim's almost through your stash."

"Huh? Tim!" Allen scolded the golem, who gave a happy growl, sitting at the bottom of the mostly-empty bag. "Geez, what am I going to do with you?" he sighed.

"I heard there's a meeting with the section heads this morning. It's probably where they're going, so they'll be out of our hair awhile. Let's go over to the cafeteria. I'm sure Jerry will be overjoyed to see you."

Allen laughed despite himself, hitting one of the keys to recreate the door to the outside. "Yeah, okay. Thanks, Lavi."

"I'm just glad to see you smiling again. Do more of that, okay?"

"Okay. Let's go; I'm starving!"

Lavi took a breath, smiled himself, and followed after, the golem close behind.