The following is a bit of a take on Video Game Confessions which belongs to the comedic genius of Doug Walker of Channel Awesome. One Piece belongs to Oda. And to make this more fun to you the reader, I suggest putting on the theme from Video Game Confessions ( /watch?v=tCrrZ1NnCuM )

A/N: This one was something I wanted to hold off on, but I had to do it now. Oh, this isn't the Cherie version of One Piece. Being the multiverse theory, this one here is a mirror verse of canon.


Anime Confessions – Tashigi


You're introduced to a young Saya-jin/Endurion male of African descent about 5'9'' with a lean frame. His hair spiked and black with eyes of light gray. He wears a typical outfit of a bartender for a fancy restaurant.


"This is Ryo Nazo Blackthorn, a semi-retired Time Patroller. Ryo works in the seven-star restaurant known as the Tori Dragon Palace (which is two blocks away from the Pixel Palace). There, some of anime's most popular celebrities pop in to have a drink. Sometimes, they share stories, and even secrets. Because—as we all know—what the bartender hears is confidential... isn't it?"


Tashigi (with Shaluli)


So, I was sitting there tending the bar and in walks in the lowest form of scum, the Marines from One Piece. Now, everybody here detested them as much the World Nobles. I'd rather serve Donald Trump and every billionaire in America before them. Among them, there was Tashigi, two random marines and one World Noble, Shaluli. Just great, I don't need hear her bitching now especially since I had to deal with her slave counterpart this weekend. So Shaluli and Tashigi come up to the bar, and I looked them over with a bit of contempt. I hated World Nobles, yes, but I hated Tashigi more. A walking hypocrite by another name.

"Shaluli. Didn't I tell you and your fellow World Nobles that you are not welcome at the Tori Dragon Palace." I said coldly.

"Filth like you cannot tell us, Noble, where we can or can't go. Tashagi, deliver the warrant." She said to me before giving Tashigi an order.

"Ryo Nazo, we have a warrant for your arrest for assaulting several World Noble and harboring pirates within your establishment." Tashigi said to me.

My face darkened as I see Shaluli's smug smirk sicing her two Marine goons to "arrest" me. It took exactly three punches and one kick to the jaw to defeat them both.

"Tashigi, this is low even for you. Do you even know why I banned those World Nobles in the first place?" I asked her.

"Because you're a criminal." She said to me. "Now stand down."

Now I take a deep sigh before pouring myself a Long Island Iced Tea because I was going to go all out. Downing the drink, I grab her by the collar.

"No. The reason why I banned them was because one of my fellow bartenders, Dawn, was nearly sexually assaulted by a gang of them lead by Shaluli's father and her disgusting brother. You have a lot of gall to come here outside your jurisdiction to try and arrest me. Then again, I'm not surprised. The WG needed someone blind enough to administer their twisted justice. Being a Marine, you must be okay with slavery, killing your fellow Marines, taking money from pirates to kill fellow marines, and your World Nobles acting like it's the Purge every damn day. You either know this and are nothing less than a filth ridden hypocrite or are you so damn blind that you are nothing more a guard dog to the true pirates? Yes, I serve the Straw Hats Pirates, and they would make better Marines than you and Smoker any day." I said in one long tirade.

Tashigi was nothing more than a stammering wreck as I released her. Shaluli was demanding she do something, but I threw her ass out with a kick Sanji would be proud of.

"Here's a thought, Ace would have had his brothers if the Government hadn't chosen to hunt him merely because he's Roger's son. Nico Robin, who was a little girl at the time, would have had her home and her mother. Bell-mere, a fellow Marine, would have been alive if the WG hadn't released Arlong into an unprepared East Blue. Didn't help the Marine officer was ok with Arlong torturing Cocoyashii and killing a fellow Marine. Two girls lost their adoptive mom that day. All of them considering ok with the WG and the Noble for the sake of "justice"." I said to her. "And lastly, I'm a warper. Only the Order of Reality can issue warrants for me. Not that I care anyway."

She stammered something, and I swear she said one of those Order bastards' name. She left the bar without incident dragging her marine cohorts with her. Dawn comes up to me with a small smile.

"Thanks, Ryo." She said to me.

"It's what I do, Dawn." I said to her ruffling her hair.

I had grown to care for Dawn like she was a little (step)-sister of mine, and let's say I nearly beat those World Nobles to death.

They haven't shown up since, but I did hear an interesting rumor. Tashigi might have killed the Shaluli of her world and escaped to Cherie's. I believe it's true. Why?

You see a lot of strange things as a bartender, see a lot strange things at the Tori Dragon. So, I see a lot of strange things as a bartender at the Tori Dragon, and that isn't no lie. Swear to it!


(A/N: A long time coming, whether that rouge Tashigi is working for Cherie is up to her. I'm just glad I got to write this. I'll be doing my best to make them so I can start Ryo's past soon enough. Just keep up the reviews, and please help to in my goal to obtain a TVtropes page or at least a recommendation from them. And yes, that Dawn is from Pokémon, you'll have to read past to find out why she's working there.)