I do not own Harry Potter those rights belong to JKR

My First Wish

several nights after the D.O.M incident found Harry Potter sitting alone on a couch in the Gryffindor common room (the rest of the Gryffindors were down at dinner) staring into the fireplace. His talk with Dumbledore helped a little to begin with but in the long run wasn't proving effective. He completely lost his appetite and hadn't eaten in almost three days. Harry heard a few people enter the common room, he didn't bother to look, in truth he didn't even care.

Harry felt as if the ones who entered were staring at him, his feelings were probably right the morning after the D.O.M the ministry had the Prophet print a retraction formally apologizing to him and Dumbledore and finally admitting Voldemort was back. He looked down and studied the pattern of the carpet hoping whoever it was would just stop, soon he felt the cushions on either side of him dip as the people sat next to him, he looked up and saw his friends Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger, they had just been released from the hospital wing a few days prior Ron arms still showing signs of the events that occurred in the D.O.M.

"Mate where've you been we didn't see you in the great hall at dinner and thought we'd come look for you." Ron said

"Well I've been here…wasn't hungry." Harry mumbled in a hollow trance-like voice.

"Harry we've talked to Neville, and he said you've not been eating for the past three days." Hermione said concern clearly etched on her face.

"No… Haven't…been thinking…sides not hungry." Harry said in the same hollow trance-like voice as he resumed to studying the carpet.

"Thinking 'bout what mate?" Ron asked

"My family…You know my mum and dad… and about one of my first wishes ever." Harry said not realizing what he was saying anymore.

"And what was that Harry?" Hermione asked Harry trying to press her friend for information so she could help him.

"That I could be with my parents." Harry said slowly looking back into the fire.

"Oh Harry… I know you want your parents back, but is that really a good reason to starve yourself?" Hermione said trying to instill some logic into her friend.

No Hermione, I don't wish they were here with me. I wish I was there with them." Harry said as Hermione's hand jumped to her mouth realizing what he had just said.

" It was one of my first wishes after my Uncle told me how my freak parents 'were killed in a car crash'. I would always remember that wish on the bad days or on the nights before a few of my birthdays I would be lying under the stairs and I would wishing that very wish." Harry said still in his trance like state, Hermione had silent tears streaking down her face while Ron was slightly shell-shocked.

"…H…Harry what do you mean 'on the bad nights'? And why were you lying under the stairs? Ron managed to get out, trying to help his friend by talking him through what he was dealing with.

"When Uncle Vernon had a bad day at work he'd come home in a bad mood and if I'd mess any thing up or did a little accidental magic, he would use his belt, not hard enough to leave any scars but hard enough to 'Beat the freak out of me'. and as for the stairs; before I found out I was a wizard my bedroom use to be the cupboard under the stairs." Harry said as an audible gasp could be heard from both Ron and Hermione.

"When Hagrid told me what I was, and that I'd be able to be away from my relatives almost all year I thought a little of that wish came true, the part where at least I wouldn't be with my aunt and uncle at least… then I met you and your family, Ron and I felt like someone cared about me… you know the first year at Hogwarts was the very first year I ever received a gift from anyone that I can remember that is, a gift that wasn't used or broken… I felt your family truly cared about me…" Harry was saying but Ron interrupted him

"We do Mate, we still do." Ron said trying to break Harry of his trance.

"Then each year Voldemort has tried to kill me; and each year he tries to take away all that make me want to stay here. But each year he's failed, so each year I forgot that wish little by little." Harry said not even fazed by Ron's outburst.

"So what's the problem then mate? Your still here aren't you we're still here with you" Ron said trying to hold himself together for his friend but his emotions were wavering lightly.

"I'm starting to wish it again… I'm starting to wish that when Voldemort killed my parents he succeeded with me too." Harry said

"But why wish something that horrible Harry? On anyone! Let alone one's self?" Hermione said finally finding her voice.

"Because Hermione I'm sick of fighting…fighting so hard to keep to this world, only to still lose all that I love in the end. It's like taking one step forward and five steps back… I just want it to end… I just want a family." Harry said his voice cracking a little.

"But you have that Harry! You have Ron and I, and Ron's family treats you like you were their own flesh and blood." Hermione said trying to help her friend while Ron nodded his head unable to speak.

"But look at what it has cost you all… we alone have nearly been killed five times, just knowing me has nearly killed two of your family members Ron, Ginny almost twice… I can't… I just cant let that happen to her… to any of you…I love you all so much I just can't let it happen. I don't even know how you could stand to be around me, or how your family could stand to have me sleep in the same home as then when I have nearly killed three of it's occupants…I…I don't think you guys should be around me any more." Harry said as a single tear dropped from his eye. He crumpled to the floor after his admission

"Ron quick go get Madam Pomfrey" Hermione said while dropping to her knees to check on Harry.

Authors Note

I don't know if there is already a story like this or not but I've had this in my head for a while and had to get it out so if it's similar to anybody's story I'm not trying to copy you it just wouldn't leave me alone.

I don't know if this will be a multi-chapter story it depends on the feedback and reviews