I own no one but my own people
Based on the AMAZING manip by Writtenndust on twitter. I hope I did you justice
It was my idea to break in here. Just use that on me, you let her go.
I don't remember much after that. I do remember the pain through. It was only for a few moments, like something deep inside of me was being ripped out of me.
I turned to look at my Queen. Why was she crying? No, M'lady, don't cry. I'm here; I'm safe, it didn't work. I smiled at her, letting her know I was okay. My hand reached out to stroke her cheek as it had done a thousand different times before.
Then… nothing.
As strange as it sounds I felt the darkness of the black that surrounded me. Felt the cold seep into my… Huh. That was funny. I didn't feel my bones. I didn't feel my skin, my hair, nor my heart pounding. I couldn't just not move but I didn't exist to be able to move. I tried to blink but I had no eyes. I tried to breathe but I had no lungs. I tried to scream but I had no lips or lungs or a tongue or… anything. I was just a thought. A single lonely thought in a never ending darkness.
…
Well wasn't that a bloody pleasant thought?
I started to think of Regina. Of my Queen and my son, my daughter that I never got to name. Then I thought of the family that I had been born into when I was Robin of Locksley, a lord's son and of the family I had chosen as the outlaw Robin Hood in John and The Friar and Will… My thoughts drifted to Marian and then Emma and her parents and even Zelena for a moment. My friends I would never laugh with again, my family I would never hold again.
I would never see them again. Even in this afterlife. I was alone… I would always be alone… I wanted to sob. To lay down and weep until there was no more tears to cry for Regina, for my children, but I couldn't.
I remembered Hades last words to me, that the crystal was meant to obliterate my soul. Well… it had worked, apparently. For the most part. But if that was the case, why am I still here? Perhaps not physically but I still could think. I still had my memories. I could still see my Queen.
He hadn't taken her from me. NO ONE would take her away from me…
Time moved differently here. There WAS no time here… Perhaps an hour had passed, perhaps a week, perhaps a few moments, perhaps a hundred years. It all blended together and it passed slow and fast all at once. I thought of Regina. Of the moments we shared, intimate and otherwise. Of real memories and stories I came up with to keep myself otherwise occupied. She deserves so much better than what life had thrown at her, she deserves love and kindness and hope. She deserved to spend the rest of her life with her soulmate.
But even in her death we would be parted, and I could only hope that she didn't let this destroy her. Didn't take her back to the Evil Queen and she would instead heal and grieve but move on. Become happy with a man deserving of that seldom enchanting smile.
I thought of my son and I hoped he would grow up (or had already grown) to be strong and brave, but more importantly that he would be honorable and righteous and truthful and kind to those around him.
Then my mind drifted towards my daughter. My tiny little beautiful nameless girl. I hoped that she would become the woman l pictured her to be the moment 'Marian' told me she was pregnant. Strong and courageous and happy and as loyal and as giving as her father had been. The witch would have wanted her to grow up 'wicked', I know she would, and I prayed every day (or perhaps it had been every year or every second) that Regina was the one who mostly raised her. Who taught her, who showed her how to be good and fair and righteous, all the things I know my Queen was that far too few people saw.
Regina deserved that little girl. She deserved Roland. She deserved to watch them and Henry grow up under her eye with me by her side. Our perfect little family. Now shattered. Now gone.
Eventually enough time had passed where everything became harder to think of. It was a challenge to even get the strength to imagine my Queen walking towards me in a beautiful white gown to take me for her husband and her king, to remember the way my name fell from her lips in a lovers sigh. Picturing my children became difficult as well, not to mention my men, my family, my friends… I had no energy, I felt drained. Long stretches of time, weeks and weeks would go by of simple nothingness. Not a single thought was spoken nor an image conjured. It was just too hard.
One day, I simply stopped. Stopped thinking of Regina, of Roland, of my Daughter. Of John and Will and Marian and Zelena and the whole lot of them. What was even was the point of remembering if I couldn't be near them? No. It was better this way. Far better to stop lusting after life I would never have, of remembering people I would never see again.
And then, only then; did I let the darkness truly take me.
...
Then I was back.
I was back in Storybrooke. At the edge of the forest I had once called home.
Dark clouds covered the night sky and I shielded my eye against it, even the pale light of an incoming storm being a bit too bright for me after ages in darkness, and I suddenly realized I COULD shield my eyes. And I could move. And I could speak.
I looked down at my hands and frowned at what I saw. They were pale blue, transparent, almost dazzling in the moonlight. I wore the same outfit I had died on; my jeans and jacket, scarf and hoodie. What on earth was wrong with me? Why was I back here after all this time?
I heard something shift behind me and I turned, hoping to get an explication when I saw her.
And everything was right with the world again.
"Regina," I breathed as my eyes took in the stunning woman walking towards me, a single red rose in hand. She was a hundred times more beautiful that I remembered. My mind could never do her justice, no matter how well I thought I had pictured her. But… she looked sad and tired, just completely drained. I was the one who was dead but she looked like she wasn't even living...
But no matter; I was here with her again. I would make her smile again, I would make her happy again, I could make her live again. I finally had my Queen back.
A teary smile lit up my face as I ran towards her.
"Regina!" I called out louder as I sprinted over to her. "Regina, it's me! I'm back, the crystal didn't work!"
But… nothing. Her face didn't burst into happiness, tears of joy didn't come rushing forward…She didn't even appear in shock that her dead lover was in front of her.
"Regina? M'lady, are you alright?" I asked as I stood in front of the woman who didn't even break stride as she walked through me. I saw her shudder slightly, pulling her blazer around her tighter as if a sudden chill had caught hold of her but other than that she continued on her trek without even noticing I was there.
She couldn't see me, I realized as I stared after her. She didn't know I was here with her…
For a moment I debated which was worse. The endless void of darkness I had grown accustomed to or being near her, seeing her, smelling her, being able to walk alongside her without her knowing.
This, I decided as I followed my Queen. This was worse. At least in the timeless abyss I could imagine that she had moved on, I could hope that she had found another man worthy of the honor of calling her his own.
Now though, looking at her expression, her body language, the way her head was bowed, the slow way she walked to wherever she was leading me… she was still grieving. She was still heartbroken over losing me.
I had been the one to cause her pain and I could hardly bare it.
Perhaps this was my real punishment. To walk amongst the living but see them miss me, see them grieve, see them grow up without knowing I'm watching them. See my son marry without me celebrating that he had found love after far too much loss, see my daughter take her first steps without me waiting for her on the other side of the room with my arms outstretched, see my Queen fall in love with some other man…
This was far more tortuous than the darkness had ever hoped to be.
"Regina," I called out again
No response.
"M'lady, you have to see me. Please," I begged but she just kept her head down and continued walking.
This was the way to the cemetery, I realized as I matched her footstep for footstep. I wasn't sure how much time had passed since I left but I could only hope she was visiting her father or heading to her vault instead of going to see Henry or Snow or Zelena or, I knew I no longer had a beating heart but I still felt something inside me clench at the thought, Roland or my little girl.
The grave she stopped at though, obvious in hindsight, shook me to my very core.
"Robin Hood" the grey stone read. "Beloved Father and Friend." With the lion tattoo that has brought me and Regina together engraved above my name.
…
Well this was a little bloody morbid wasn't it?
I watched as she laid the single rose at the base of, if ghosts could feel chills I was quite sure one had just shivered up my spine, my grave before she kneeled in front of it, placing a hand on the smooth rock.
"I miss you," she said with a trembling voice.
"And I you," I told her as I put a hand in her shoulder, wanting to do nothing more than comfort her. She shuddered away from the chill and I found my misery growing. I couldn't even touch her without causing her suffering.
Fan-bloody-tastic.
I pulled my hand away, choosing instead to sit atop of the arrow shaped headstone and look down at my Queen.
"You should be here," she spoke aloud to, who she assumed, no one, her head still bowed. "You should be watching Roland grow up, you should be here with Robyn."
Robyn? Who the hell was-... Oh.
Oh.
Zelena named our daughter after me. That was my daughter's name. Robyn Hood.
Pride swelled in my chest at the thought but then just as quick as the pride had come, sadness overtook me.
I wouldn't be able to watch my little peanut, my little Robyn, grow up. She would never know I was there watching over her, would never know how proud I was of her, would never know how I hoped she wouldn't punish herself trying to live up to the name she had been given. She and my son would grow up without me.
If the dead could weep, I would have.
"You shouldn't have saved me," Regina said as her own tears caught in her throat. "You should have just let Hades kill me."
"Never, M'lady," I told her even knowing that she couldn't hear me. "I would rather die a thousand times before I let harm come to you."
"You were a hero, you didn't… heroes are supposed to live, heroes are supposed to get happy endings." Regina let out a sob that she tried, unsuccessfully, to cover up with her hand. "We were supposed to be each other's happy ending…"
"I'm sorry," I said. "Regina, I'm so sorry, but I couldn't let you die. You deserve happiness more than any hero I've ever met. Including myself."
"Everyday is such a struggle," she said as if she were finally admitting a long held secret and I had a strong feeling she was. "Everyone's so concerned about me turning evil again, but I don't… I don't care about revenge. I don't care about turning evil or anything else. No one even cares about what I'm feeling, they're all just worried about me backsliding."
I wanted wipe her tears away. I wanted to embrace her, to hold her, to make sure she never again had cause to feel this heartbroken and betrayed.
My Queen let out another sob. She had forgone trying to hide her tears or emotions. "I was right. When I said only you and Henry believe in me. You never would have believed I'd turn evil again, I know you wouldn't."
"I wouldn't have," I confirmed with all the conviction I could muster. "I know how far you've come. I'm SO proud of you, Regina, you have no idea how proud I am. You're so strong, you're so deserving of love and friendship and family…"
I was so angry at the so called heroes. They were treating her the same way that they had treated her after 'Marian' came back. No of her so called 'friends' cared about her. None of them worried about her. None of them cared about what she was going through. They were just worried she might turn evil again. After all she had done for this bloody town and the bloody 'heroes'.
I hated them all.
"I just want you back, Robin," she whispered through her tears. She rested her forehead against the stone, cuddling up next to it as if it were me. "I want you here with me again. It's not fair."
"I am here," I told her. "Regina, you just have to see. I'm here with you, I promise I am…"
She stayed like that for a long moment, simply stayed close to the stone, running her hand over the inscribed name as if she were carrissing me.
I stayed where I had taken up residence; looking down at her and wishing I could touch her, embrace her, make her happy again…
I would take a thousand years back in the darkness of that was what it took to bring a smile to her face again.
"I miss you," she said again, her voice soft and low and detached."
"I know."
"I wanna be with you." Regina sniffed away her tears and sat up, wiping away the offending drops of moisture. As I looked at her, I couldn't get a read on my Queen. A smile has broken through her walls. Not the one I had envisioned a hundred times before. It was so lonely, so lost, so alone…
It haunted me.
"And I will be," she breathed before she pulled out a familiar small glass vial with a hand drawn viper on the label and I straightened up from my previously casual position.
It had come from her vault, one I had seen plenty of times because she always instructed me to hide it whenever she knew Snow would be coming or would motion for me to stand in front of when it had been a more impromptu visit.
It was a bottle of the same poison Regina had killed King Leopold with.
No. No no no no no, she didn't… No!
"Regina." I could scarcely speak. "M'lady, dont… don't do this."
She examined the vile, twisting it in her hands as she looked down at it. I jumped down from the stone, my nonexistent heart racing.
I swiped at the vile, hoping sheer will would be enough to grab it from her but another cold shudder ripped through her and she pulled the poison closer to her chest.
"Regina, don't!" I cried loudly. My voice had taken on a panicked desperate tone.
I had to stop her. I couldn't let her harm herself. I couldn't let her die for me.
"Please!" I yelled at her, just as a strange strong wind started to pick up. "Regina, stop!"
"I won't be alone anymore," she whispered. "I won't have to deal with this pain."
"It's not worth it!" I shouted. "I'm not worth it! You can be happy without me, don't do this!"
The more desperate I got, the stronger the wind blew, now accompanied by stinging rain and a deep roll of distant thunder.
"Henry has Emma," she said as if she was convincing herself. "He'll be okay… he'll be okay."
"Please don't! PLEASE! I begged her. A flash of lightning was seen in the distance and the storms intensity grew.
She uncorked the vile and flinched back from the sharp bitter smell of the poison.
The queen laid her hand back on the grey stone.
"I'm sorry," she whispered before bringing the vile to her lips.
"REGINA, STOP!"
A boom of thunder roared followed by a bright flash of lightning came down right beside her, right where I was standing. Regina screamed, jumping back from what could have been the death of her had it struck a half an inch closer.
Her breaths came out frantic and trembling. She put her hand to her heart, staring at the spot where the lightning struck, where I was standing. Only she wasn't looking at the general area, it was like she was staring into my eyes.
"Robin?" she breathed as tears streamed down her face, indistinguishable from the slowing rain.
I swallowed hard, not wanting to move, or speak or do anything that might interrupt her seeing me.
The Queen stood on shaking legs. I noticed the poison spill from the vile onto the soft wet ground but she didn't seem to mind.
"Robin?" she asked again, her voice trembling. She looked… as if she had seen a ghost.
I had a sudden realization that the lightning had illuminated more than what it appeared to…
I said nothing. I just watched as she put her hand up before I took a deep breath and placed my hand against hers.
Instead of flinching away as she had earlier, she instead just closed her hand around mine as her tears came quicker. She closed her eyes as I took a step closer.
"I miss you," she whispered so softly I barely heard it.
"And I you," I told her again. I felt myself growing lighter, fading away.
My time was ending on this earth. I realized why I had been allowed to come back.
I had been allowed to save her. I had been allowed to rescue my Queen...
"I love you," I whispered in her ear.
I had moments left. I wasn't sure how but I felt it in my very core. I leaned forward, placing my lips against hers. I swore I could almost taste her…
The last thing I saw before I closed my eyes and allowed the timeless void darkness to overtake me once more was her fingers pressing up against her lips where I had kissed her and hearing her whisper, "I love you too," into the wind…
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