A Limited Shelf Life

Sheesh, that whiskey burns. I hate airports. I hate waiting in airports even more.

Thank god there's not too many people about. Carter wanted to come and see me off, but I wouldn't let her. The sympathetic tear filled looks and asking if I'm okay just freak me out. I can't handle that.

At this point in time, all I wanna do is drink myself into oblivion and I certainly don't want any witnesses.

That waitress keeps staring at me. Do I look that bad? Probably, I don't think I've shaved in a week. I must be getting some pretty impressive growth.

I think I'm gonna take my drink and sit in another lounge. "Damn flight delays!"

At least I'm traveling light. I didn't bring a lot of stuff from the old place. Just a few pictures, clothes, wash gear. I just can't deal with the memories right now.

I'm assuming Carter got my medals and stuff from my office in the mountain. If the truth be known, I can't remember. I haven't been back there since… what happened. Handed my resignation in and shut myself away. Since then, life's pretty much been a blur.

A cousin rang me, obviously with no idea what had happened. He asked me to come spend some time with him, so deciding to go to Chicago pulled me together a little, but not much. Well, I'm here, at the airport. The memories still haunt me though and I suppose they always will.

"Oh crap!" Now I've broke the glass, maybe I was holding it too firmly. Urmm, smiling at all the concerned faces seems to keep them away, or maybe it looks like a grimace? Whatever it is, I don't want people fussing around me. I've successfully managed to avoid that for the last two weeks. I even avoided Hammonds phone calls, and Janet pounding on my door. Maybe that's why I'm here now?

A return to anonymity, a concerned extended family is too hard to deal with. Maybe I'm being selfish, but I don't know any other way to deal with this.

"Crap, Danny! I miss you…"

"Oh great!" more strange looks, the sooner this damn plane gets here the better.

And once again the reason I'm here comes tumbling back round. Prodding at my alcohol blurred conscience. After, Charlie, I should never have let the kid get to me, but I did.

I really can't imagine why I'm so shocked by everything. Daniel was living on borrowed time anyway. What made him agreeto getting in that damn machine beyond me.

Of course, later Daniel confessed all, but learning another alien language instantly in some alien doohickey wasn't my idea of a good reason.

Daniel, as ever, thought it would help. He thought that knowing the whole language instantly would help us get their technology, or help him understand their culture, is more likely! That's the only conclusion that I could draw. I don't think turning up an hour later, shrunk, kid sized, was part of the bigger plan though.

My face must have been a picture. The kid, no taller than my waist walked out with blonde hair, everything to big and grasping desperately at his pants, at least I can still smile at that.

Well, the alien fella said it could be reversed, but he'd have to wait, about 6 months to be precise. Obviously at which point I went nuts. He seemed to get it, (our new buddy that is) but I didn't.

If the truth be known, I was probably more annoyed at Daniel than at the short, fat, supposedly earth descended being that stood before me. He'd just smiled and nodded, jabbering some incoherent crap.

Daniel, who'd stood beside me in long shorts and a shirt thing the aliens had got for him, had been conversing with said alien. He'd then turned to me and announced 'at least I know the language now', with the biggest toothy grin I've ever seen.

Sheesh! I could have swatted his six at that point! Big, or little Daniel! Instead, I'd scooped up the little bundle of trouble. Daniel obviously complained bitterly while I stalked off back to the stargate. Once threats of swatting were issued, he'd calmed down and looked rather pouty in a way that only Danny could.

"For cryin out loud, Danny, why the hell did you ever agree in the first place?"

To say that the General was annoyed, that would be an understatement. What the hell was the military meant to do with a 6 year old civilian archeologist with all his memories intact, he wasn't even a normal kid, for Christ's sake!

Yeah, well. That's were I stepped in.

Little Daniel ended up living with good old Jack.

I have to say I was not keen at first. As usual all of the reasons I should have him were thrown at me by the usual suspects and I couldn't survive anymore of the disappointed looks I kept getting from the Doc and Carter, so Danny came home with me.

He'd never have admitted it, but there was certainly some kid stuff going on in that little brain of his. He finally realized, after many arguments, a lot of shouting and tantrums, that he needed affection from me. Hugs and back rubbing, tucking in a night, Daniel needed to feel safe. And I have to admit, he was cute! The blue eyes, blonde hair and dimples; even the tiny wire framed glasses, they all made the job so much easier, but then Daniel was never difficult to love.

Big Daniel was very youthful and enthusiastic… over enthusiastic sometimes. I suppose he had a bit of a kid's outlook on life, but was one of the bravest self sacrificing people that I've ever met. This little Danny, he was all those things still, and more fiercely independent than ever. Thinking back, that's probably what made us fight. He had this inability to accept help and the fact that he couldn't do everything anymore, but I loved him all the same. Knowing we'd have the big version back sooner or later made it easier.

There was a fair bit of butt tapping going on. I was surprised he didn't complain more than he did, but a hyper 6 year old archeologist… I challenge anyone to find a better way of controlling him.

Mind you, he really had Carter and The Doc eating out of his hand, the little scoundrel!

Obviously, Teal'c and Hammond weren't that gullible, well, not all the time anyway.

Hey, I'm smiling again, that's gotta be a good thing, right?

Anyway, a few weeks ago, Danny and I were out doing some shopping. The tike had wandered off again, little blue shorts and book in hand, but this time, he was gone and that was the last time I saw him.

Obviously the SGC personnel were called in, but it was fairly obvious to me what had happened. Those bastards at the N.I.D had nabbed him.

The General eventually got a tip a few hours later confirming my worst suspicions. I should have been more careful, but I thought all the bases were covered.

"God you're an ass, Jack"

Urmmm, more odd looks, well I don't give a shit, let them look!

Anyway, the rest is history. By the time we got there, Danny was dead. Doc says they must have overdosed him on something when they were trying to get information from him. His frail body was battered and bruised. Not that it mattered, for all intents and purposes, that was my kid in there; my kid motionless, my kid that was never gonna giggle again, or beat me at chess…

I carried him out, wrapped in a blanket. Maybe I shouldn't have, but he looked so peaceful. The thought of someone else touching him now made my stomach turn over, even more than it already was. He was just a kid for christ's sakes! A beautiful, intelligent, gentle human being, our savior in many ways and the world doesn't even know it. They always say that good die young, well in my opinion that stinks! You were welcome to kill your son early, God, but not mine!

Jesus! There's no justice in the world.

Well, I have to go, it looks like my plane is here.

You have to admit, losing a kid once for any man's too much, but twice and a best friend?

I knew this job had a limited shelf life. I let people in and that was mistake number one. They were my family, my friends, my life and now that our kid is gone, there's nothing to bind us together any more. Carters leaving the service and Teal'c will carry on with his rebel cause. Me, well I've retired, but to what, I don't know. My soul's been removed, along with Daniels. I never realized we were inextricably linked. I do now, he was always my kid, I should have realized.