Last night I sat in the silence of this old house. I could hear my heart beating just like I could hear my footsteps on the stairs. It didn't feel right. It's been like this since you left six months ago, and I still haven't gotten used to the sound. I feel like I should walk into the kitchen and see you making a sandwich, or that you should be watching football in the living room.
I played with the carpet fibers on our- I mean- my bedroom floor. Ellen DeGeneres made jokes about one thing or the other in the background. I rest my head on Sparkle's large back. She lifted her head and looked around. When she saw it was me, she simply licked my hand before going back to her nap.
My mind drifted back to all those summer nights we would lay under the stars in the field behind your yard and paint pictures in the sky. Why couldn't things be like they were back then?
Here lately, I often find myself thinking about old times. Back to when time stood still and I had you….
Come back to me. Stand out in the rain and wait for me like if this was a movie. Tell me you're sorry and you know we can work it out. Please come back to me, and tell me it will be just fine. But then again if this was a movie, you'd probably be here by now.
I fought back the tears and bit my lip. I remembered when we used to go to that old boarding school together… I remember how you were always joking and laughing. I remember how we used to dance around the common room, our friends laughing. Nothing like this ever happened back then….
Sparkle tugged on my shirt sleeve, wanting to go outside. I smiled somehow and walked over to the French doors to let her out. Barking and jumping she ran out into the fenced in yard. My stomach rumbled. I tried to think back to the last time I ate today, but couldn't remember. I left the door open and made my way to the kitchen.
There was a picture of us on the windowsill. I remember the moment clearly. The rain beat upon the house and it was one of those days you want to crawl in the bed and disappear. When Nina told me her and Fabian broke up, I cried so hard. If they couldn't last, we certainly wouldn't be able to. I was sitting in the middle of the driveway in a puddle of water thinking about us. You came up behind me and wrapped your arms around me.
As if knowing my thoughts, you whispered," Nothings gonna change, not for me and you."
Come back to me. Stand out in the rain and wait for me like if this was a movie. Tell me you're sorry and you know we can work it out. Please come back to me, and tell me it will be just fine. But then again if this was a movie, you'd probably be here by now.
If you're reading this letter thinking about how ridiculous I am, moving on and leaving me in the past, I've been waiting. The drawers your stuff used to go in are bare; they don't have anyone else's things. And… I miss you. I miss us. I miss dancing with you and laughing and… everything. But if you are reading this and you feel the same, I cannot wait to find you on my doorstep.
Come back to me. Stand out in the rain and wait for me like if this was a movie. Tell me you're sorry and you know we can work it out. Please come back to me, and tell me it will be just fine. But then again if this was a movie, you'd probably be here by now.
I know when we had that fight I locked you out and said, "I hate you." But believe me babe, I didn't mean it.
Come back to me. Stand out in the rain and wait for me like if this was a movie. Tell me you're sorry and you know we can work it out. Please come back to me, and tell me it will be just fine. But then again if this was a movie, you'd probably be here by now.
I really thought you would be here by now….
Love you forever and always,
Amber Millington.
