Disclaimer: I don't own COD4, it belongs to Infinity Ward.

John Price was angry. It took a lot to make him angry, but he was very upset at the moment. Why? Oh god, he didn't even want to think about it. His own men thought his mustache was terrifying. How? He took an extra half hour every morning to preen it carefully, plucking each gray hair and combing every last whisker upon his beautiful mustache, but his men found it scary? Even Gaz, his supposed 'friend' had said that the thought of it keeps him awake at night with night terrors so severe, he thought he would die in his sleep.

"It's just so... horrifying. I feel like he bases his decisions off the 'stache, like it thinks for him!"

Gaz had been saying this to his fellow squad mates, and Price had overheard. He didn't think that the men even knew he had heard them, but he had. Oh, he had! That was when Price stumbled across the new recruit of the SAS, Soap Mactavish, sitting all by his lonesome on a brick wall at the empty training course. Come to think of it, Price hadn't seen Soap with the others. He wondered how Soap may feel about his wonderful facial hair?

"Hey Soap. Mind if I sit?" Price asked, motioning to the brick wall.

Whatever deep thoughts Soap had had a moment ago, were now completely and utterly destroyed. He snapped to attention, leaping off the wall as if it were on fire, and saluted him, quivering in fear. Price just sighed.

"At ease Soap. Sit down son," he said, patting the brick and sitting down himself.

Soap hesitantly sat, staring anxiously at Price. Price stared back, squinting his eyes a bit, waiting for a response. Soap's eyes flitted just barely at Price's mustache. Price sprang up from the wall, hollering loudly.

"AHA! So you think my 'stache is scary do you? Bloody terrifying, eh? Well I'll show you terrifying you git, I'll have your head you-"

"Sir, please! It's not that!"

Price stopped short, suddenly realising just how embarrassing the outburst was. He hung his head and sat back down, groaning.

"Uh, sir?"

"They think my mustache is horrible. They hate it."

Soap's eyes widened.

"Oh no sir, not that. Everyone loves your 'stache. It's so... amazing. I myself look up to it so much sir, so much. Other people are just jealous that they don't have something that brilliant to be proud of," Soap said.

Price perked up a bit at this.

"Hey, maybe you're right Soap. They must be jealous. I mean, this is something to adore," Price said, smiling handsomely and stroking his 'stache.

Soap smiled.

"Yes sir, I think that's exactly the case. So... Ice cream?"

"Isn't exactly my tasty treat... but we can go out for coffee, if that's what you mean."

"Of course. Let's go."

A/n: Haha, random one shot!