(A/N): Another one-shot, You may cry. I don't know. Please comment and favorite. Also follow because I may write her reaction to this as a chapter two. Hope you like this...
Dear Zoe Murphy,
I'm sorry. I guess I should probably start with that.
I'm sorry I treated you the way I did, I'm sorry I took it out on you. You didn't deserve it. I know I made your life wretched and every time I realize that I feel awful. I guess I just didn't want you to like me so I wouldn't hurt you when I let go. I lost all of my friends that way. Not that I had many to begin with. Most of them not even being real friends. I pushed them away, stopped talking to them, started acting like a jerk just to get them away, just like I did to you. Some, it didn't take that much work to get them to stop talking to me. Most, actually. Maybe I shouldn't lie. It didn't take much at all to get every single one of my friends to leave.
It just shows that they didn't care. Not enough, not really, but that's fine. I don't even care anymore. In fact, I don't really care about anything, anymore.
I'm sick of feeling like this. I want to be better. I really do, but I can't see how. I know part of this I did to myself. If I wasn't so hard on mom maybe she wouldn't hate me as much.
I just can't see a way out of this...well, couldn't, I mean. I met someone today, his name was Evan. Yeah, the nerd with the apparent anxiety, not my walled up type. He...I don't know. I barely understood what he was saying through all the stuttering but for the first time I tried to be patient and listen. He was saying he was in a similar situation to me. You would have to read in between the lines a bit but I realized he was crying out from his own pit, but no one could hear him because no one was listening.
He was so quiet nobody heard, opposite and yet the same as me yelling so loud nobody could hear. So I tried to help him out. I got somewhere with it too. I was going to end it when I got home from school today, I honestly was. But if I can help stupid nerdy hopeless Evan Hansen, than maybe someone can help me. Maybe I just have to hold on a bit past my breaking point.
Sincerely,
Me
