So after getting an e-mail saying that my story got removed, this is now the re-written version of chapter 1. Made this with my best buddy, shirayuki55 :) and on that note, let's meet our captives-i mean guests!

Ichigo, Rukia, Toshiro, and Rangiku, appear under a light tied up and gagged

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They all mumble incoherently while protesting. A girl named Tsuki laughs evilly and rips off the tape from Ichigo's mouth, causing him to scream like a bitch. Everyone has to stifle their laughter at ichigo's reaction. He yelled, "Ow! what the hell was that for?" Tsuki responds, "Because you have the best reaction, my stupid strawberry" This caused Ichigo to shoot a menacing glare at Tsuki, who in return shot a glare, which made her eyes flash with murderous intent. Ichigo had lost the glare-off when he paled and shrunk back. Tsuki smirked and said, "Now that that's out of the way, allow me to introduce myself. My name is Tsukiakari no Ha, but for this fic I will be called Tsuki. Now to bring out my lacky, here's shirayuki55!" Another girl walks out and waves sweetly to the cast. In a bubbly voice, she said, "Hi guys! I'm the second host! Nice to meet you!" She shot a glare at Tsuki, "And I am not your lacky!" Tsuki dismissed Yuki's last statement, and turned towards the cast, "You should all count your blessings that Shirayki's here." She smirked, "If she wasn't, you'd all be tortured till death." she grins, and happily asks, "Isn't that great?" Everyone including Yuki paled and secretly counted their blessings. Tsuki smirks evilly and announces, "Now let's get started! Our first "guest" will be non other than... Ichigo! come here Ichigo!" He gulped and stayed put, causing Tsuki to become angry. She shot a pillar made from energy at Ichigo, causing him to yelp as it narrowly misses him. She glared at him and said menacingly, "Come. here. now!" ichigo yelped and scurried over to her and obediently sat in his seat. Tsuki smiled, "Good, now then onto the "interview!" "Oh i'm so gonna break him." She thought, "This is gonna be fun!" After she got comfortable, Tsuki started, "Alright, first question." Ichigo decides to be brave, saying, in an almost daring tone, "Alright, bring it on!" Yuki facepalmed at Ichigo's bravery and mentally hoped that Tsuki wouldn't be too hard on him. "Oh God." She said tiredly, "Please don't hurt him too much." Tsuki giggled, "No promises Yuki! Now then ichigo, what would you say to a zampokuto battle?" He smirked and crossed his arms over his chest, arrogance dripping in his voice, "I'd say I'd kick your ass!" Yuki stares at ichigo with her mouth agape, and hysterically asked, "Why? Why? Why would you say that, Ichigo?" His response to this was a confused facial expression along with an equally confused response, "Why wouldn't i say that?" While this conversation was taking place, Tsuki yelled, "Burn the night, Kurohi!"

A massive wave of black fire engulfs the area, with Tsuki in the center of it all. When the flames died, Tsuki was now wearing a black Shihakusho with silver armor, in her left hand, a black and silver sword that's as tall as she is appears with a jagged blade tilting at an angle, making one end longer than the other.

Tsuki smirked, "So you say you'd kick my ass, huh?" Ichigo, who was freaking out while he pointed at Tsuki, yelled, "How the hell did you do that?!" She shrugged, "How do you think?" Ichigo started, "Uhh..." but then trailed off, unable to come up with an answer. Tsuki grins and yells, "Wrong answer!" and lunges at Ichigo, who screamed and ran away before releasing his own zampokuto. They both stare each other down, and then without missing a beat, lunges at one another.

The battle begins. both competitors have shown great strength during the fight. everyone from Bleach, especially Rukia, cheer Ichigo on, while Yuki tries to look away but fails because the battle between them is too epic. Ichigo and Tsuki face each other again, both out of breath and sporting injuries.

Tsuki wiped her lip and said, "I've had enough of this! Time to end it!" She took a stance while holding her sword and yelled, "Bankai!

Another wave of black flame starts to engulf the area, this time more devastating than the last. everyone has to brace themselves due to the high amount of spiritual pressure. Rukia yelled, "Since when did Tsuki have Bankai?" Yuki yelled back, "I don't kmow, but Ichigo's in for it now!" Toshiro tried to look past the flames, but couldn't even open his eyes. As for Rangiku, she watched in shock as the flames began to disperse. Tsuki then re-appears, outfit still the same, but now a giant black dragon with silver scales and piercing red eyes is behind her. Tsuki solemnly said, "Kurohi Ryukasai!" She smiled at ichigo and said sweetly, "I'll give you exactly five seconds to run, Ichigo!" He glared at her and straightened up, holding out his own sword, he declared, "Your not the only one with a Bankai. He released his Bankai, and yelled after releasing it,"Tetsa Zangetsu!"

Both begin to battle again, with Tsuki getting the upper hand over Ichigo. Ichigo tries to flash step his way around her, but she is too fast. A blow to the face sends ichigo flying down towards the ground, and before he can retaliate, Tsuki quickly stomps on his stomach, both knocking the breath out of him and hurdling him faster towards the ground. He lands in a giant crater, with Tsuki standing on top of him, laughing triumphantly. She then stomps on his head, ruining his bright orange hair with her foot.

Tsuki started laughing at him, "Hah, I knew I could beat you, ichigo! Hahaha some Soul Reaper. No wonder you're a substitute, you suck at fighting!" Ichigo started crying and then tried to justify his defeat, "If i had released my Bankai earlier, you would be dead by now, you damn brat!" Tsuki laughs harder at this, "Yeah right. Even if you did release your Bankai, at any time, I would still beat your ass because i'm just that awesome!" Ichigo mumbles, "Yeah, right. the only reason you won is because you comtrol this damn universe." After a few minutes, Ichigo notices that Tsuki's foot is still on his head, so he yelled, "Get your foot off of me! Its too damn heavy!" Tsuki frowned, "That's what you tell me to get off of you, ichigo? My foot? Wow, you're one weird strawberry." Ichigo groans and collapses from exahustion. Tsuki grinned and held her sword up triumphantly, yelling, "And the winner of this match is... ME! Yay!" Yuki turned to look at Tsuki, screaming, "how does beating Ichigo to a pulp have anything to do with an interview?"Tsuki started laughing and smiling "Oh nothing, but it was fucking awsome, right?" Yuki was about to say something, but Rukia cut her off. "Your evil!", she screamed, pointing at Tsuki, who in return, grinned, and said smugly, "That's right, and don't you forget it." She turned to look at Ichigo "Now, since I beat you carrot-top you have to answer whatever we ask you, got it?" An evil grin started to spread across her face, making ichigo scowl, however, he nodded his head in submission. Tsuki's evil grin had grew until she was now wearing a grin that was ear-to-ear. Finally, she asked, "Why are you gay?" Everyone begins to laugh at him, but the laughter then dies, only to be replaced by judgemental stares. Ichigo chokes on apperantly nothing and blushes, exclaiming, "Whaaaaaat! I AM NOT GAY DO YOU HEAR ME?" Tsuki didn't look satisfied, so she stomped on his head while chanting, "Lie and you will die!" while grinding his head into the floor. Yuki cried out, "Tsuki stop! He said he's not gay alright? So leave him alone." Tsuki huffed, "Jeez your no fun." She kicked Ichigo in the ribs and walked away.

Suddenly Uryu bursts through the doors.

Uryu, with a frantic look on his face, yells, "What's going on here? Are you guys okay?" Tsuki suddenly steps in front of Uryu and jump kicks him in the face without warning, shattering his glasses. He fell to the ground with a groan and rubbed his aching forehead, "Who did that? Everything is so blurry." Tsuki started laughing, "Hahahaha, now you're visually impaired! Tell me used to be four eyes, how many fingers am I holding up?" Yuki scolded, "Tsuki that's not nice." Tsuki defensively saying, "Oh c'mon Yuki, you of all people shouldn't be feeling bad for him." After thinking it over, Yuki agreed with Tsuki's statement, "yeah, i guess you're right. but still, it's not nice to make fun of people." Uryu looks confused, "Hey wait, I thought you were supposed to be the good cop?"Yuki shook her head and looked away, smiling, "A girl can change her mind, can't she?" Uryu nodded in agreement, "I suppose so, but I still can't see!" Tsuki crossed her arms, and spat, "quit your bitching, they have schools for blind people, too." Uryu exclaimed, "But i'm not blind! i'm just nearsighted!" Tsuki, waved her arm dismissively, "Same crap." Uryu tried to correct her, "But its not-" However, doing so made him get kicked in the nuts by Tsuki. He doubled over in pain upon contact, while emitting a shill banchi-like scream and yelling, "My unborn children!" Tsuki and Yuki both fall on the floor while holding their stomachs and gasping for breath at Uryu's expense. Tsuki said in between breaths, "Dammit I can't breath!" and tries to gasp for air, while Yuki clutches her sides yelling, "My-my sides. they H-hu-hurt!" Tsuki got up after their laughing fit, "Alright, let's get this over with. Yuki!" Yuki also got up but was still giggling "What?" Tsuki commanded, "Start asking the questions. I'm to lazy." Yuki exclaimed, "Why me?!" Tsuki sighed, "Because you're the lacky and the lacky has to ask the questions. Now start asking, lacky!" Yuki huffed, "Ugh, fine, but I get to interview whoever I want." Tsuki groaned and rolled her eyes, "Fine, whatever. Just ask already." Yuki smiled, "Fine i will." She looked at Rukia, "Come here, Rukia." Ichigo yelled hysterically "No, not her!" He stood in front of Rukia, protectively. Tsuki started to get irritated, "You never learn, do you Ichigo?" He turned to glare at Tsuki and argued, "Well, I won't allow i-" "Shut up!" She yelled, making her voice become louder with authority. Ichigo was about to protest, but she punched him in the nose, making his head jerk back due to the sheer force of the impact. Yuki tried to ignore the two, and smiled sweetly saying, "Come here, Rukia." She slowly walked over, looking fearfully between Tsuki and Yuki. Yuki tried to comfort her, "Don't worry, I won't hurt you. Tsuki smirked, eyeing Rukia evilly, "Yeah, but I might." And a huge grin spreads across her face. Yuki starts, "So Rukia, why are you so... " Tsuki then interrupted by yelling, "SHORT!" Yuki cries, "That's not what I was going to say at all!" Tsuki shrugged, "Yeah but don't you wanna know why, too?" Yuki confessed, "Yeah, but-" Ichigo interrupted Tsuki and Yuki by yelling, "Hey! Only I can call her short!" This earned him another one of Tsuki's punches to the face again, this time both shattering his nose and shutting him up. Rukia screamed, "I AM NOT SHORT!" Tsuki chuckled, "Yes you are. Even Yuki's taller than you and she's a midget, too!" "Hey!" Yuki exclaimed. Tsuki said defensively, "What it's true." Yuki mumbled, "Amazon." Tsuki asked, "Is that from Futureama? Cuz it sounds like it's from Futureama." Yuki exclaims, "No! It's from Justice League!" Tsuki's eyes lit up and she gasped. In a shocked tone, she asked, "You watch Justice League, too?!" Yuki just shook her head and decided to hold back the urge to explode. "Anyway." She said, "Let's have someone else get a turn." She smiled, "Come on down, Captain Chibi!" Everyone looks confused, but Tsuki just smirks and yells, "Toshiro! Get your ass over here now!" Toshiro crossed his arms and pouted like a child, "First of all, it's Captain Hitsugaya to you. Second, i will not stand for this "Captain Chibi" nickname. And third, I don't want to." "Please, Captain Chibi?" Yuki pleaded. Toshiro glared at the nickname and shook his head, "No. And stop calling me that. It's degrading." Tsuki giggled, "Aww, I think it's cute!" He glared and his right eye began to twitch when Tsuki, Yuki, and even Rangiku started to laugh at him. When Tsuki saw that Toshiro wasn't cooperating, she stalked up to him, smiled, which caused him to raise an eyebrow, and without warning, she picked him up by his collar and lifted him three feet into the air. With a grin, she flung Toshiro into a chair, causing it to flip over with his legs in the air and the rest of him on the ground. Tsuki nodded, admiring the damage she created, "Now that that's taken care of, it's question time!" Toshiro gulped and fidgetted in his chair once it was upright. Tsuki started, "Alright Midget-taicho, first question. Why the hell are you 3'5'?" Toshiro choked on his spit, exclaiming, "What?! I am NOT 3'5'! I am 4'4', thank you very much." Tsuki started laughing hysterically, "Are you serious?" She asked, "You're seriously proud of that?" She continues laughing. Toshiro fumed, "Of course I am! That is an impressive height!" Tsuki mumbled "Yeah, if you wanna be an oompa-lumpa." Yuki and Rukia started giggling but stopped when Toshiro sends them a glare. Toshiro looked at Tsuki laughing, along with everyone else and a lone tear of pent up frustration slipped from his eye. Tsuki noticed this and yelled, "Aww, the midget's crying! Hey everybody look, Midget-taicho's crying!" Rangiku tries to be sympathetic, "Aww, captain don't cry!" Toshiro, furious with the situation had caused his voice to waver, "I'm. not. crying! Tsuki kindly asked, "Aww, does someone need a hug?" With a sob, Toshiro lunged at Tsuki. She yelled angrily, "Not me, damnit!" She kicked him in the stomach, sending him crashing into a wall, and instantly falling unconscious. Tsuki yawns and says tiredly, "Alright, I've had enough for one day." She stretched, "I'm out. Come on Yuki." Ichigo asked, "Wait, what about us?" She turned around, "What about you?" He explained, "What are we gonna do here? What about food and other things necessary for survival? You can't just leave us here!" Tsuki smirked and asked, "Wanna bet?" She struts out of the room with a cheerful wave. Ichigo called out, "Wait, wait, no!" Yuki popped her head back through the door, "Don't worry, I'll bring you guys food!" Tsuki came back and grabbed her arm, "No you won't, now let's go."She starts dragging Yuki away. Yuki argues, "But I want to help them!" Tsuki argues back, "And I want them to suffer."

And with that the door bangs shut leaving the cast staring at it in horror while Tsuki and Yuki's voices echo out and fade away. Tsuki and Yuki: And that's chapter 1, everyone! Remember to review and send us ideas. Yuki: "It can be questions, or character requests." Tsuki: "Or dares. Or even different ways that I could beat Ichigo up!" She smiled at the idea. Yuki: "Or anything else You guys want. Just write a review on either my or Tsuki's version of the story!" Tsuki: "The title will be the same, but you'll see in parenthesis (tsuki version) or (yuki version), ok?" They both smile and wave: "Thanks for Reading!"

just a few translations :P

Chibi - small/short

Taicho - captain

Kurohi - blackfire

Ryukasai - dragon fire

Now, since that's done. It's 2:23am, are you asleep yet? Lol I know I'm not xD