The date is March 19, 2017
I walked into a local pub and ordered a Tide pod smoothie with a hint of bleach, then that angle entered the pub…man, oh man she was fine looking. My heart began to beat rapidly. She looked at me and my face froze, and my heart popped. I fell to the ground, I no longer had a heart well because it popped. The bartender looked at me and lowered his head to mine.
"Baddabopbaba…"
. . .
I woke up in the hospital…
She stood there, just staring at me. I almost cried, she was beautiful. She looked at me funny.
"What's your name?"
"Uh, Sh-Shrek." I stammered.
"I like that name…so um, my boyfriend saved you… I mean he gave you his heart, because he has like 15 hearts or something…ha ha." She said nervously.
Then a yellow sponge walked into the room.
"Sandy get out of here please…" He asked.
"But I want to see him… I mean it- "
"GET OUT!" He yelled he grabbed her wrist and jack slapped her across the face, forcing her to the ground.
As she was sitting on the floor with her knees and tears in her eyes, she got up holding the right side of her face and ran off out the door. The sponge walked to my bed I laid on.
"Girls right…" He laughed.
I sighed. This monster had to be killed…but how. As the sponge kept on talking I screamed. He ran to me, I pretended to be dead. Once he got to my "dead" body I rapped my legs around his neck and began to squeeze, this would cut off his ability to breathe, he started to gasp and gag.
"Gucci Gang, Gucci Gang, Gucci Gang…" I whispered.
His eyes started to roll into the back of this head.
"Spent 10 racks on a new chain…"
It had been done…he was dead…
A nurse rushed in, she screamed in fear. She ran out the door but followed. She barely got 2 feet before I got to her, I grabbed her head and started to compress it.
"Ogres have layers!" I screamed. "Ogres have layers…"
I dropped the dead corpse onto the ground. A doctor saw me and ran. I didn't follow this one…he looked lazy. Moments later a security guard armed with a handgun yelled commands to me. I simply looked at him, he began to cry, slowly at first but then it grew louder and louder. He fell to his knees, his eyes bled rapidly. It only took seconds before he bled out. I took his handgun and ran down the stairs. Many patients and staff screamed as they saw a half-naked ogre run through the halls with a pistol. That's when I saw her, she sat crying on the curb. But a S.W.A.T team member grabbed her wrist and urged her to leave. She seemed scared, so I fired at the S.W.A.T guy. He fell to the ground. The squirrel looked at me, she mouthed the words "I love you…" I smiled…
Another S.W.A.T team member ran to her, this time she kicked his shin and then broke his neck. She ran to me, she wrapped her arms around me and kissed me.
"Let's go kick some butt…" She smiled, while grabbing the dead S.W.A.T guards' gun.
"And after that it was all history"
THE END
