Secrets of the Light
It is possible to be part of a family and yet be the silent observer of it all. To know the trials and tribulations, the joys and sorrows, the moments that defined relationships… it was possible to be a part of it and keep those secrets. It was something she was good at. She was the one that listened when everyone thought there was no one else.
She had been loved by the father and then the son afterwards. She knew his secrets and she knew how lonely he was without his brother. She heard his inner monologues. She went with him to the source. She comforted him with his other means did little to nothing. Then the brother joined.
It was like old times. She remembered when they were children. She kept fond memories. She remembered when Sam stuck the army man in the ash tray. The Legos that rattled when she rolled… she loved it still. Then there were Sam and Dean's initials. It was her 'ink' so to speak as part of a pledge to each other. She was proud to witness it.
Then there was the dhampir. She knew her from before when the dhampir came to help the father. Then there was the occasional check on her systems when no one was looking. The dhampir cared about her. It was what bonded her to Dean even after the disagreements. And the angst that followed.
The dhampir came back and it was like greeting an old friend. She missed her and certainly Sam missed her. They belonged together, not apart. She knew that since they first met though it wasn't obvious at first. But she knew.
She knew their inner thoughts and fears and hesitancies. It was funny and maddening when the wires got crossed. If only they were easy to fix as one of her blown wires. And the dhampir knew how to do that. Oh her touch was wonderful, like that of a mother. If she was the mother, Dean was the father. They both cared and she wasn't jealous of her sister Deanna. The dhampir became Angela after that and she was the one that confided in her the most.
She knew Angela's feelings about Sam and how she tried to balance doing her job and giving in to her feelings. She heard the silent tears of sadness, loneliness and… She heard everything even when the others were in here with her. She spoke louder than anyone who had ever ridden in her and not every one could see. It took two years for Sam to see clearly. Once he did, it was a whole other ride and one she enjoyed thoroughly.
The conversations between the two of them, she was privy to it and she loved it. It was like watching a beautiful secret develop. She was privy to their feelings and thoughts that they were only able to share with each other. She listened and she kept their secrets. Including the ones that involved fears and the latest were the worst.
She knew Dean had suffered the Mark of Cain and that Sam was doing anything to get rid of it to help his brother. They got it removed but at a cost and it was scaring Angela to no end. She could hear it in her voice as she listened to the conversations about what happened when the black cloud enveloped her. She didn't like it. She didn't like how it made her mother and father feel.
At least things were looking better on this job. Dean was joking with Sam again and Angela, she was content being with Sam. She watched Dean go to try and score while Sam and Angela took off towards the diner. She knew they would be back… and she was right.
She was good at keeping secrets. She could tell you how many times 'it' was done in her backseat. But she won't. She kept all their secrets. Including that which taunted Dean every time he poked at Sam about doing 'it'.
"You know I could tease you about this being kiss and makeup sex."
"Only because you like to make me blush."
"I always said you needed to man up your ears, Sammy."
She heard a satisfied hum. That she hadn't heard in a long time. It meant that Sam was happy and when he was, it usually was because Angela was. Or the other way around. She let out a satisfied sigh.
"I miss that."
There was a hum and a slight shift. It was followed by her hearing Sam ask, "What's wrong?"
"I miss teasing you. Too much thinking about other things. I think I'm turning into you."
"Never."
"What makes you think so?"
"Because I'm a selfish bastard and you're not."
It was odd for her to hear but she continued to listen. She knew that they were not like how Dean talked to his lady friends and definitely not when his special witch friend came by. She could recall the last time she came and what happened there.
"You're not selfish. Only human."
There was some more shuffling and Sam asking, "What's bothering you Angie? Did you have the dream again?"
She heard a slight whimper. It was followed something whispered. She couldn't exactly hear but she heard the comfort being sought and given. She head Sam murmuring at Angela in soothing tones. Then she heard, "It scares me Sam. And I don't know what to do."
"I don't know either. But I'm here for you. I want to help you."
"Even though she wants to kill you?"
"I've had threats before and so have you."
"But it is different. It feels different." There was a sigh. "Way to kill the mood."
Sam hummed a bit before saying, "I'm not saying I'm worried. I am and it kills me that you feel this way. I just got you back and then… this."
"I guess we just have to muddle through like always."
It was quiet for a time. She was certain that they had gone to sleep. It wouldn't be the first time. She let out another comfortable sigh.
"I'm with you Angie no matter what."
"Always and forever?"
"Always."
"I love you."
She had heard that before. It was a promise. Apart from secrets, she held promises. What that phrase was used it was a promise. She was relieved when they shifted and drifted off to sleep. It was certainly interesting when Dean came back and found them in the backseat. From there, they enjoyed lighthearted banter and it seemed that all traces of the conversation the night before was gone.
But she knew what was said. While it may be forgotten or never mentioned again in the future, she had the memory of it. She would never forget. She witnessed their moments and she kept them. She kept their secrets. She knew their hopes and fears. She even knew things that they didn't know just yet. It was what she did. She was the needed listener and it was a job she gladly kept.
A/N: A one-shot of our beloved Baby as she views the people who travel with her. Tag to "Baby". Enjoy.
