I Want You
Armed with two new bottles of jack and two packs of cigarettes, i began to walk back to the shitty little apartment i called home. I took the cap off one of the large bottles and the scent gave me a small sense of relief. Swirling a mouthful of the strong liquid around my mouth, a small smile krept onto my lips and left as soon as it came. I had my night planned. Lay on the couch, my favourite bands blasting and getting so drunk i won't remember my name. That's what i love about alcohol, the way it came make all of your problems go away. Your lonely, you drink and suddenly the room feels warmer. You forget everything thats been eating away at you for far too long. You let go completely. Nothing can touch you.
Being careful not to damage the bottles, I pushed the door to my apartment open with my shoulder. I set the bottles down on the coffee table and put my music on. My apartment was pretty bare, only containing the bare necessities. If i had the money i'd love to brighten the place up. so to make myself feel a little better i lit some crappy candles i had lying around for when theres a power cut. Didn't look too bad to be honest. i sighed and lit up my first cigarette of the day, eventhough it was 9 o'clock at night. One mouthful of Jack quickly turned into 5 and 5 into 10 and the familiar feeling of weightlessness began to creep in.
Although i felt less like kicking someone's face in with my motorbike boots, the alcohol wasn't having its usual effect. I could still feel that aching pain in my chest. the pain of lonelyness and feeling unwanted. My mind still drifted into its dark, dusty place full of depressing thoughts and ideas. I sat up and grabbed hold of my bottle and put my 'cancer sticks' in my back pocket.
'Fuck it!' i said with a sigh as i dragged my wobbling body over to door, blowing out the candles on the way. I was off to the sugar shack. I liked people watching, and maybe i'll find a pretty girl that i can spend the night with.
I arrived at the club a lot later than i would of done sober, but the plus point is that everyone will be drunk now so it makes things much easier. As soon as i walked inside the loud music ecoed through my head. I stood in a less crouded spot and grazed over the sea of faces on the dance floor. Then around the bar area and seats. Mostly regulars, no one caught my eye.
I was leaning against the wall outside the girls bathroom just people watching as usual and was beginning to regret coming out here. There really seemed no point. Until i caught sight of a small blonde girl in the mirror of the bathroom. She was doing her make-up. She stood out like a sore thumb, but not in a bad way. I'd seen people who tired to pull off her style, they're all loners who people stear clear of. But this girl pulled it off amazingly. Her features were so striking. a small smile played on my lips as she noticed me looking at her. She gave a weak smile and continued applying her make-up with a close presission.
I took a long drag of my cigarette and planned out my next moves. She looked over at me again, this time no smile. Maybe she was thinking. She got her stuff together and walked out of the bathroom, no eye contact with me on her way past. My smile grew into a grin. 'Looks like shes playing hard to get, i love a good game' i thought to myself as i pushed off the wall and followed her path.
The apealing blonde walked right into the middle of the dance floor and began showing off her moves. again, standing out like a sore thumb with the way she danced. I liked it, kinda serious looking. Where as all the other kids where jumping around and falling over and making idiots of themselves because they cant handle a dirty sink.
A fist to my shoulder snapped me out of my observations. I turned to look who it was to see if they needed a few punches back.
" Oh hey Tammy!" i smiled and pulled her into a hug.
"Hey Joan, so who you drooling over?"
I shoved her back playfully. "i am not droolin' okay?"
my eyes drifted back over to the petite blonde girl.
"hmm, she looks alright joan" she winked at me and giggled. "spoke to her yet?"
"No, not yet." my eyes stayed fixed on her body as she danced away to Bowie.
"go get her tiger!" tammy slapped my shoulder and pushed me forward. I guess i was going to break the ice now then huh.
I walked right infront of her, giving her a quick smile as i walked past. I went to the bar, got two drinks and walked past her again, this time slowing down to indecate her to follow me. And she did. my heart began to skip in a fluttery way as i sat down in an isolated booth, shortly followed by the blonde. She sat across from me, looking in my direction but not at my eyes. I slid the other drink acorss the table to her.
" i'm Joan, Joan Jett.."
She took the drink with a weak smile "Cherie.."
From that moment on we just sort of clicked. We began talking and before we new it a whole hour had passed. Our deep conversations about really nothing at all was interupted when suzi quatro - wild one came blasting through the speakers around the room. My face lit up and so did Cherie's. We had just speaking about music we love, obviously i mentioned her. I jumped to my feet and looked at cherie suggestively, she rose slowly and looked at me in a kind of confused manner. Hesitating slightly, i placed a hand gently on the small of her back and guided her to the dance floor.
After a while of dancing and laughing i decided to go outside for a smoke and some air. Cherie followed close behind me. I placed one between my lips and extended an arm out towards her holding the packet open. She smiled, took one between her cherry coloured lips and i fired it up for her. I sparked up, inhaled a large lung full of smoke and leant back against the wall.
" Shit!" i heard from beside me.
"whats up Cherie?" she was looking at her watch and frowning.
"i was supposed to be home an hour ago.."
And with that my mind couldn't help but replay the idea of her staying over my place for the night. hmm, what the hell... "hey Cherie? you could always come crash at my place, i'll take you back in the mornin'?"
She thought about it for a moment and then sighed in relief "thanks Joan, your a life saver" she laughed and as she did, small clouds of faint smoke puffed from her mouth.
" you had fun tonight?" i asked her, filling the growing silence.
" yeah, im kinda tired now though.. its been a long night. "
" how bout i take you home? " I couldnt hide the huge fucking smile dying to break out anymore. She noticed it and looked quite questioningly at me but i just waited for an answer.
" sure "
As i struggled to find my key in the tight pocket of my leather pants i turned to cherie. "Look, i'm have to warn you, my place ain't nothin' special" the front door to my apartment swung open to reveal not much at all. Pale creme walls, the brown sofa up against the wall, a brown coffee table with cigarette burns and coffee rings on it. A large plant in the corner put a small splash of colour in the room along with a few pictures hung around the walls. My favourite had to be the painting of a Les Paul.
"Ladies first" i gestured for her to go through, she giggled and my heart fluttered in my chest. I followed her in, closed the door and lit up the candles on my way past. Bit of mood lighting never hurt anyone.
"make yourself at home, can i get you a drink?" i offered.
"sure, what do you have?" she looked up at me from the sofa.
i laughed awkwardly, "er, vodka, jack a lot of dark liquor and some water"
She laughed her feminine little giggle "i'll have whatever your having"
So with that i just brought in the a bottle of liquor and a small bottle of jack. A smile played on my lips as i sat the bottles on the table and took a seat on the other end of the sofa.
"help yourself to drinks and anything in the kitchen"
She smiled, "thanks Joan" There was a short but not uncomfortable silence. The sound of imaginations running and cogs turning behind vacant eyes could almost be heard. Both suddenly stopped as i began to feel causious that i was losing my guest. "So, you have fun tonight?" i wanted to get a good conversation going. She chuckled slightly, "yeah, it was definatly fun..did you?" I presented the best charming smile i could manage, "yeah, s'always good meetin' new people.. sometimes you get lucky" Her cheeks flushed a lush rose pink colour and her eyes glistened at me in the candle lit room. For a moment we were both silent. both gazing at eachother with the occasional glance over one another. Like we were assessing and making mental notes for later use. As i dragged myself our of the daydream that was threatening to make a fool out of me, i noticed cherie looking right at me. Her eyes full of question and her lips wore a grin that she was desperatly trying to cover up. 'shit, nice goin' Joan'. I quickly poured a glass of whiskey and knocked the whole thing back in one. Once the alcohol kicks in there will be no nerves or embarrassment, that's when jett pack comes out to play.
It was now 1 o'clock in the morning and the atmosphere had settles a while ago with thanks to the aid of alcohol. We had talked for hours about ourselves, our interests and dislikes, our whole life stories pretty much and my sexuality. She seemed to dwell on this subject but in a possitive way. I looked over at cherie and noticed her swaying from side to side, her eyes were slightly redened and half closed. "you okay over there?" i chuckled. She looked up slowly but responsively. "i'm fine" she smiled a goofy smile and attempted to put her glass down on the table and somehow managed to fall off the couch. "shit, you alright?" I jumped up to help her up. She just lay there laughing hysterically. "come on, you're far gone kid" I picked her up bridal style and started walking back over to the couch, "think you should get some sleep before you do yourself some damage" her face suddenly morfed into the face of a worried child. "were am i sleeping?"
"you could take the couch?" She frowned.
"err, or you can have my bed? i'll sleep on the couch if you want" her frown deepend. She closed her heavily made up eyes and whispered, "Joanie, can i sleep with you?"
