AN: Hey guys! The polls are in and the majority of you guys wanted a new Saving Alec story. So here we go! I'll be completing all of my other stories within the next couple weeks so I'll be spending a lot of time on this one. If you have not read Saving Alec, you really need to or you might not understand everything that is going on in this one. So please read, review, and enjoy! And of course, Merry Christmas everyone.

I've been spending the last eight months
Thinking all love ever does is break and burn and end

Taylor Swift – Begin Again

Prologue

Alec POV:

There are moments in your life where you are really down, and I think I hit rock bottom. It all ended with me in my parent's bathroom, in their bathtub. I had just downed a bottle of pills. They say there's a light at the end of a dark tunnel when you die. That is either a lie, or I didn't deserve it, so I didn't get it.

What I saw instead was beautiful amber eyes, and black spikey hair. And let's not forget the glitter that was raining down all over me from that spikey hair.

They say that when you're down, and you want to hurt yourself, imagine doing it. If you can think of just one person who you love that would want to save you, then don't hurt yourself. In that moment I couldn't imagine anyone thinking I was worth saving, but one person came. Magnus saved me.

In the months since we've had our ups and downs. We've had fights, we've cried. We've screamed. We've suffered. But we've lived.

I fell in love with Magnus Bane the day he looked me in the eyes when I was dying. And I thought that that was enough, but it's never enough. I haven't been able to get over the undying love he has given me. I can't get over the fact that all great loves end. Ours hasn't, but it will.

All loves must end.

Pessimistic of me, I know. But I can't lie to you and say I'm an optimistic. I speak the truth, even if it hurts. I'm not sure how long Magnus and I can last, but I want it to last. I know I'm not perfect and I don't deserve Magnus, I wish sometimes I could let him go. He could meet some other boy or a beautiful girl that could make him happy, would make him happier than I ever could.

But I'm selfish.

The truth is, the darkness is reaching to me again. It's been one year since Allie died. Well, eleven months, twenty four days, four hours, and twelve minutes, seventeen seconds. Eighteen. Nineteen. You catch my drift.

Her death is what caused me to finally take the leap. Magnus saved me once, but can he do it again? Do I want him to risk his sanity again for me? Or can I let him go free?

The bad piece of me says, "Keep him. Hold on, never let go, and bring him down with you." But I can't do that to him. I can't hurt him.

So do I let him go?

Or do I let him suffer with me?

Do I live again?

Do I die for real this time?

Those are the horrible questions I must keep asking myself. And most importantly, am I worth saving twice?

No, I'm not.