New Fic! I know I haven't update His Girl in a bit but my muse is frozen on that but I am working on trying to fix it. In the meantime I have this fic for you, I have been working on this in the background for a while now, about since EJ's first appearance on NCIS so this is situated about there. Warning, there is some bad language in this. Enjoy!
As soon as Ziva met this EJ Barrett she didn't like her. So it seems was Tony's opinion too, but as always when a beautiful woman that could captivate a man came on the scene Tony became lost in them. In Ziva's years watching Tony become easily pulled in by these woman it lead Ziva to believe that Tony had a weakness towards them, but towards herself he seemed to be very strong and she didn't know why that was.
And sure Tony had always been captivated by woman but he would never really step up to the woman and do something seriously about it, well sometimes, but not always. And there was just something about the way he looked at this EJ person that gave Ziva a gut feeling it wouldn't be a happy thing for her.
She was sure nothing was going to happen, until she went to confront this EJ woman in the woman's showers, where she knew she had been showering each day after work, and that's when she saw them. They were close, as though they were about to kiss and then he whispered something about them breaking a rule, she replied saying no they weren't and he pushed his lips to hers and hands to her sides.
Ziva had to leave at that point, she couldn't watch that, not when it was so relevant to her and Tony's relationship. Relevant to why what happened in Paris hadn't followed them home. They had slept together that night in Paris, not just slept. They hadn't had passionate sex like they both thought would happen after five years of holding back, no they had made sweet love in the Parisian hotel together.
And they talked that morning, before they made love a second time and before they had a calm breakfast at the coffee shop. They both knew they couldn't continue what they started when they got back home to America. They had agreed it was, in the end, because they respected Gibbs and his rules, including the infamous rule 12.
But for some reason Tony seems to have forgotten just how much he thought he respected those rules now, as he got hot with Agent EJ in the shower room. Seriously Ziva even wondered why she bothered with Tony sometimes, he was one of the biggest jerks on the planet at times, but you can't help who you love. And she loves him, and she can't help it.
Things had been smooth for them, Ziva had even found a nice guy Ray, he was good, steady and a really nice guy, but he truly would never measure up to what Tony meant to her, no one would ever. Tony showed he was jealous about Ray but they knew it was inevitable he did by how much they cared for each other, but that alliance had been put there for rule 12 and it was staying.
Thinking about it now, maybe he didn't care that much. If he was willing to break that rule for this woman on the second day of knowing her and not break it for her after a further year since they had promised to stick by it after five years of painstakingly staying away from each other, really it made her furious. He was a stupid, idiot, jerk, dick, jackass, nitwit, and a twit. And she couldn't stop hating what he has just done to her; she would probably never forgive him for doing this.
She still loved him and that was hard when she tried to move on but she had still tried to move on, as horrible as it was. But then he willingly does something that could have made it easier for her if he broke that rule with her, but no he did it with someone else, not her. At least he would have his fun; she hoped it lasted for him because she sure as hell wasn't going to be fun for him after this.
She didn't even know if she could stand to be friends with him after this, he knew so well just how much making that alliance with him meant to both of them. They made it knowing it would be hard for them but they did it out of respect, which he obviously didn't have. How could she stand to be friends with a man who broke her heart and broke that alliance they had with another woman, he pretty much betrayed her and she just couldn't handle him doing that.
At least it was Friday night and she wouldn't see him until Monday, she may be able to hide her pain before Monday comes.
She was woken at 11am the next day by the sound of her phone vibrating against her bedside table, signaling she had a text. She reached over blindly and opened it and blinked at the screen until her sleepy eyes focused. It was from none other than one Anthony DiNozzo himself.
Hey Zi
Did you still want to catch the special screening of the classic film Godfather at that theater in town tonight? Then we could ger dinner afterwards at that new Italian restaurant?
T
As inviting as that sounded and how much of a good time she knew she would have like she always did when they went out like this, she just couldn't.
Sorry I'll have to pass tonight.
No casual Z was put at the end like they always did; she just didn't have the effort for it anymore.
Aww come on Ziva I know you cant resist it, and I know just how excited you are to go with me, you were talking all about it on Wednesday. I'll pay for dinner, the movie and popcorn? :D
T
He tried and it made her sad to think just how excited she had actually been about this weekend with him, and how much she wanted to go and forget about the whole EJ thing but her alliance with him meant to much and he broke it, and the reply she gave next she didn't mean to say but it happened and she sent it.
I said no, how about you ask you new girlfriend EJ.
It was what she said and he didn't text her back as quick as he had been and when she expected a text back her phone began to ring, he called her this time. However she decided she wasn't going to start a fight over the phone with him, she would ignore him and leave him be to do what he wanted, so she didn't answer it. She just left it and tossed her phone somewhere and rolled over in bed back under the covers.
Later that day when she had surfaced from bed, showered and dressed she went for a walk. She walked to her favourite place to go, a park in the centre of the city. It had large trees lining the path that traveled through the whole park and there where many benches and seats around, even a small pond with a handful of ducks. She didn't know why she liked it so much; just ever since she first went for a run in America she had found it and fallen in love with the simple, bright and claming place.
She sat on one of the benches and she was sure she sat there for a few good hours. She watched as families with small children went passed, laughing and being happy. Ziva was jealous of that; she had always wanted a family. It was her end dream to do that here in America, she just wondered if that would ever happen. She watched as different ages walked passed taking their dogs out walking.
She watched a few happy couples walking passed, holding hands, smiling, kissing. And god she was jealous of that. That was something she was really jealous of. She had tried so hard since she had got to America to find that, to find that happiness with someone. Ray, he was the closet she had at the moment, she was happy with him but Tony, Tony just stood in the way between her being really happy with someone else. She couldn't help it though.
She had been sort of happy with Michael but he was playing her and she hadn't realized that until she was stuck in that desert in that cell. And she regretted not trusting Tony when she should have. Tony, he made her happy but she couldn't have him. That moment they shared in Paris, that is what she was looking for, it's what she wanted. But it never returned with them because there were rules against it and they were going to follow those rules. Well she would anyways.
She was going to try with Ray, because Ray was a good man and he made her smile. He brought her nice things. He was stable. She just couldn't help that part of her that cared a bit too much for her partner. But he was off screwing EJ and he had hurt her so she wasn't going to think about him.
That next Monday when she showed up to work she was glad Tony wasn't there yet. However EJ was. Ziva could hear the woman behind her muttering something about the skylight and Ziva rolled her eyes. Then the muttering stopped.
"Agent David" Ziva heard EJ say and Ziva turned around to see EJ standing on the other side on the wall between their bullpens.
"Yes Agent Barrett" Ziva said as politely as she could manage.
"Did you talk to Tony this weekend?" she asked casually. Why they hell would EJ be asking her that?
"No" Ziva replied. Turning back to her computer, but she did realize that EJ didn't move from her spot behind her.
"Well he's on edge for some reason and I just wondered if you knew anything about it?" EJ asked. And yes Ziva could probably guess what had made him on edge but it was his fault in the end.
"No, I have not spoken to him" Ziva lied. True she hadn't spoken to him but she did know why he was on edge. She heard EJ sigh.
"Ok, thanks anyways" EJ replied and moved back to her desk.
McGee showed up not too long after that and then a little after that Tony arrived. Out of the corner of her eye Ziva watched Tony stare at her. He sat at his desk and just watched her. After a long while of him doing that she couldn't take it anymore. She brought her eyes to his, his were confused and angry.
"What Tony?" Ziva snapped. She didn't mean to snap at him but she did. He opened his mouth to reply when Gibbs walked in and told them to 'gear up'.
They had managed to stay silent all the way to the crime scene that was out in the woods. A marine had been shot in the back of the head and left there in the middle of the thick trees where there was an opening. They had interviewed the one witness that had found the body while on a hike and he was let go. Now they were gathering all the evidence. Tony was taking photos while Ziva and McGee gathered evidence. Gibbs had walked back to the cars a little bit away to go find Ducky and Palmer.
And that's when the tension had snapped between them, and McGee got stuck in the firing line.
"Get a photo of that" Ziva had instructed Tony.
"I already did" Tony snapped at her. She lifted her eyes to him and shot him a glare.
"You do not have to snap at me like that, I didn't know" she growled back at him.
"Well you snapped at me this morning so what makes you so special?" he shot back. Ziva stood up then and stepped into his personal space. McGee kept quiet; he was not getting involved in this.
"Special like you because you decide you can break that promise" she almost yelled at him, jabbing her finger into his chest. He stood his ground and he realized what this was about.
"It's not the same" he argued back.
"No?" she snapped.
"No it isn't, she isn't on our team, she doesn't follow the rules" he explained, raising his voice.
"That is bullshit Tony, you know it's the same thing, were working with her on a shared case which is still in progress and anyone that works under Gibbs abides by those rules" she yelled. McGee felt as though he knew what this was about, he had a feeling this had something to do with EJ Barrett.
"It's not the same" he yelled right back again. She didn't believe for one second it wasn't the same thing, because it was.
"Yes it is, you just like to go around hurting me don't you" she fired back. He saw in her eyes the hurt she had. But why was she worrying, she had her Ray of sunshine didn't she?
"What about CI-Ray? Does he not mean anything to you now?" Tony growled back at her. She blinked a few times; she hadn't expected him to bring Ray up.
"You know he doesn't mean as much as you do" she shouted at him. He did know that, he did know that the way she looked at him meant more than they would verbalize. McGee felt as though he was intruding, this was definitely a very personal conversation; however he didn't move. His head would probably be shot off if he did.
"I don't want to be alone anymore Ziva" he snapped back. God he wanted her but he couldn't.
"So you go and chose the one person that goes against that promise we made. Do you know how much you hurt me by doing that?" she raised her voice to a yell again, and he could see the tears building up in her eyes. When he went to EJ he didn't think this would be breaking the promise, he didn't think that EJ would fall under those rules. But she had. And he had gotten himself into a mess now.
"No I don't Ziva, you never talk to me and you shut me down!" he yelled. She knew he was talking about when she ditched him on the weekend.
"I did not want to speak to you" she shot back.
"If you had talked to me about it, I would have stopped it" he stated. If he knew he would of.
"Can I really believe you? You just don't think. You are so thick sometimes!" she yelled. It hurt that she called him that.
"We should never have done what we did" he confessed, she knew he was talking about Paris.
"If I remember rightly you were the one who made the first move, you were the one who came up with the idea, the promise we made" she accused. He scoffed.
"Oh and you didn't have any say in it? No I just did it all on my own" he snapped back sarcastically. He wasn't ready for it when she slapped him forcefully in the chest with her palm.
"Why must you always be such an ass" she yelled in his face. He saw the tear that fell down her cheek.
"I hate you so much" she yelled and slapped him harder in the chest this time. He took the hit, he realized now how much he had really hurt her, and he knew he was an ass. He deserved to be hurt right back. Just then Gibbs appeared from the trees with Ducky and Palmer right behind him.
"When will you finally realize how much you hurt me? I can't stand to take it anymore" she yelled in his face and another tear fell while her hands pushed at his chest. He stood there; he couldn't believe how stupid he was.
"I hate you!" she exclaimed again. One more time she pushed him so hard he lost his balance and fell to the ground on his back. Her eyes stared down at him, teary and full of hurt.
In the next second Gibbs had his arms around Ziva, gently pulling her away from him. Tony flung his head back and covered his face with his hands; he had really fucked up this time, and for what? To sleep with EJ? EJ was nothing compared to what Ziva meant to him, no one would ever mean as much as Ziva did to him. But he didn't know if Ziva would ever forgive him again.
Hope to have the next update tomorrow, I just need to fix a few things on it but it's almost done. Love to hear your thoughts on this :)
Hundan
