The Prince's Despondancy

The car trips were quiet. More quiet than usual. Normally, the boys would banter, make jokes or comments about the outside world while driving by. Prompto would do things to annoy Gladio while trying to read his book in the backseat and make him lose his place. Sometimes he'd spin around in the front seat and bump Ignis' driving arm, causing the car to sway a bit, Gladio to swear loudly, Ignis to protest sternly, and Noctis to complain loudly, reminding the blond that this is why he was not allowed to drive.

Gladio would mumble something under his breath about Prompto having an attention disorder, and then things would quiet down for a bit. But never for long. They'd soon be back at their usual chatter again, or Prompto would have his camera out snapping photos of everyone in the car, especially Noctis sleeping, but in the recent days of driving, of camping, of hunting, whatever it was they'd do, it had grown into a very solemn atmosphere. The young crown prince wasn't even interested in fishing, which was his favorite pasttime, and he stayed wide awake throughout their travels.

It had been just days after the fall of Insomnia. Noctis and the others had already met with Cor, learned the truth of King Regis' passing, been to a couple of the royal tombs, while the prince continued to take the powers passed down to him from his ancestors, but he did so in silence. The mood in the car was unsettling at times. Noctis would just stare almost into nothing out his window. The usual snarky, playful comments made during battles weren't the same, and even making camps weren't the same. Noctis would eat his food in silence, if he ate much at all, and then would retreat inside of the tent, leaving the other three to stare after him worriedly.

"He's got a lot on his plate right now," Ignis pointed out one night after the prince had shut himself away inside the tent yet again. "Best to let him be."

"Well, we've all got a lot on our plates, but you don't see us moping about. It's been almost a week since this happened. He's supposed to be king now, right? So why isn't he getting up, getting over it, and doing something about it?" Gladio gruffed. "Being mopey ain't gonna bring his majesty back."

Prompto swallowed audibly. "Well...," he began uneasily. "Noct really hasn't had time to grieve for his dad, you know? Maybe it's all still just sinking in? I mean he did lose his dad. That's gotta be tough for anyone to stomach."

There was a sound of the tent unzipping, followed by an irritated sigh and Noctis crawled out of it, looking visibly frustrated. Prompto gulped, while Ignis just sighed and pushed his glasses up his nose with one fingertip. Gladio just stared at the prince with his tattooed arms folded across his masculine chest.

"So much for getting any sleep," Noctis spoke lowly, not looking at any of the entourage in front of him. Prompto glanced worriedly at his friend, attempting to raise his hand to stop him from walking off, but to no avail. Noctis hopped right off the rocks and disappeared somewhere into the night. The only thing that could be seen was the light left behind him, warping to who knows where, in his wake.

"Just leave him," Gladio grumbled as he rose to his feet. "Put the fire out when you're done. I'm going to bed." The king's shield disappeared inside of the tent. Prompto and Ignis exchanged worried glances.

"It is nighttime out. Noctis is full aware that daemons stalk the grounds at night. I'm worried he may attempt to take out any frustrations on them and get himself hurt," Ignis spoke softly to the gunman. "Perhaps we should go have a look for him?"

Prompto stood up with a heaving sigh and then turned to Ignis and grinned. "I ain't afraid of any... d-daemons lurking around out there. I'll go find him. You stay here, Iggy, in case he comes back. One of us should stay here, anyway. I'll look for him."

Ignis nodded his head in response. "Right then. Just be careful out there. Don't get yourself into any trouble. You know how to run if the daemons should appear, and try to think of places Noctis might go. I would gather somewhere up high if he was warping about, which I'm sure he was."

Prompto nodded his head in response and patted the gun on his hip. "Right. Got it. Be back soon! Don't worry, Iggy. I'll find him. I'm sure he's fine." It was Prompto's turn to hop down off the rocks in search of his friend.

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The pounding in Noctis' chest was so hard, he could feel it drumming in his throat, hear it throbbing in his ears. His anxiety was through the roof, and his frustration was close to boiling over. If he didn't get out of that tent and get away as quickly as possible, he didn't know what might come out of his mouth. Growing up royal, he learned it was easier to just keep his thoughts to himself, stay quiet and don't burden people with petty emotions. So, Noctis steeled himself and did just that. He could hear his group of friends muttering about him just outside the tent. He ripped open the zipper on the tent, and stepped out, clearly irritated. He tried to ignore the looks on his surprised friend's faces.

Gladio seemed to be more annoyed and angry with him these days, but it wasn't like Noctis could truly help that. Gladio was Gladio. Prompto and Ignis, well... Noct didn't know how much more he could take of their overly worried expressions. Particularly Ignis and his motherly aspect, though he may not have intended it to be that way. The thought grated aggravatingly on the back of the prince's neck, and he grumbled about being unable to get any sleep, before jumping down from the campground, and warping away from his friends. Regardless if they had been talking or not, Noctis knew there was no sleeping anyway. He hadn't been getting much since his father passed away. Every time he closed his eyes, he would dream different ways of his father dying, and Noct would awaken in a cold sweat and shaking. So if he could get as little sleep as possible and avoid his nightmares, he couldn't complain.

Noctis found himself on top of a water tower, not too far from camp, but not too close either. He could still see the curious, blue glow emitting from the symbols engraved upon the rocks as well as a crackling fire. The prince leaned back against the cool steel of the water tower and sighed, gazing up into the sparkling shimmer of the star-speckled empyrean, the moon shining bright and full casting rays on him. How long had it been since they had left Insomnia for Altissia? What about his wedding to Luna? Why would the Empire turn against them now, and Regis... his father. King of Lucis. How had he died, and why? Cor was never clear exactly how this happened or even why, beyond Nifelhiem's betrayal. Did Regis die on the frontlines? Did he die in the line of duty? Did his body finally give out? Did his father know he was going to die? Noctis allowed his thoughts to wander.

Is that why he sent me off so quickly? Is that why he smiled as I left? Is that why he held onto my shoulder and told me to walk tall, because he knew what his fate would be? Is that why in our last moments, he knew that's what they were and why he tried to be a father? Why couldn't I have been there? Why did you rush me out, Dad? And Luna was there too? Maybe we could have done something to help them... anything... Does Luna know you're gone? Is Luna even alive? I'm not ready for this. I'm not ready to be King. Why, Dad...? Why... why did you lie to me? Why didn't you tell me the truth?

And as the thoughts raced through the prince's mind, his body began to tremble, his hands clenching into tight fists, and his eyes began to sting and burn with unshed tears. His throat closed up and his chest tightened, and he clenched a fistful of his shirt over his pounding heart. Noctis was alone. His friends were all back at camp. Maybe for once, he could just let it out. Gladio wouldn't be there telling him off for being selfish and to remind him that they're all having a hard time. Ignis and Prompto wouldn't be worriedly hovering over him either, so maybe... just this once...

"Dad...," was all Noctis could manage to get out before a sob caught in his throat, and his breath hitched. He couldn't stop the hot tears making their escape and rolling down his cheeks, one after another. Noctis tightened his jaw, trying to fight against it, but to no avail. His breaths hissed through his clenched teeth and he lost the battle. Tears fell fast and hit the steel floor underneath him, and they weren't stopping. So, he let his shoulders droop, elbows resting on his knees, and he cried. He cried for his late father, he cried for his lost kingdom, he cried for the possibility that his beloved Luna may be gone as well, he cried for what could have been and what was. It was all he could do. He was alone, and nobody was there to judge him.


"I'm sure Noct is a lot smarter than those guys give him credit for. I can't imagine he'd go far," Prompto said to himself as made his way down to the ground from the campsite. "Now... if I were a warping prince and wanted to get away from everyone, where would I go?" The blond gunman scratched his chin thoughtfully, and gazed upward, spying the shadows of a water tower in the near distance. "Aha!" He snapped his fingers and began running toward it. "I'll betcha he's up there." Prompto ran across the dark grounds, his guard up in case anything popped out at him, but by some streak of luck there was nothing.

His legs slightly aching and burning with exhaustion, Prompto finally reached the tower he was sure Noctis was at. He glanced around, looking to see if there were an easier way than just climbing up it when he saw a shiny flight of metallic stairs, glinting in the moonlight. "Oh steps, oh precious steps, you saved me from having to climb a dangerous tower," he groaned and the young man began making his ascent up the steps. "Okay, so the steps aren't much help," he complained, stopping for a moment to rub is achy legs. After what seemed like days, weeks, months, maybe years, Prompto had finally reached the top, slightly panting and grumbling to himself. "That prince had better be up here. I better not have made this trip for absolutely no reason, and that's a loooong way down."

Prompto peered forward and noticed a dark shape sitting on the edge of the tower, legs dangling. "Ayup. I knew he was gonna be up here." Prompto lowered his voice as he began making his way toward the prince. Prompto kept his eyes on Noctis, noticing that the prince was more hunched over than usual, and he raised a thin, blond eyebrow. He was about to take another step forward to approach him when he saw an abrupt rise and fall of the prince's shoulders. Concern and compassion instantly took over Prompto's senses, and he made his way to Noctis' side. "Hey, buddy!" Noct didn't respond, only turned his face away and off to the side and out of Prompto's line of sight.

"You know, it's a ridiculously long way up here. I think my legs might fall off!" Prompto attempted to lighten the mood, but there was still no response from Noct. Only a very slight sniffle could be heard from him, and Prompto's heart dropped to his stomach as he seated himself beside his best friend, tucking one leg under him, and letting the other dangle. "You okay?"

"I don't know," came the muffled response from Noctis.

The boy dropped his blond head. He understood now why Noctis had wanted some time alone. Maybe he shouldn't have intruded and just let the prince be, but he was here now and it'd be silly to up and leave after all that. "Yeah... guess you heard us talking, huh?" Prompto replied, all traces of humor gone from him.

"Kinda hard not to when you guys are just outside the tent," the prince replied cooly, sounding like he had a slight head cold, and he sniffled again.

"I'm sorry...," Prompto replied softly. "So, I wasn't far off was I?" Prompto attempted, taking a chance at prodding Noctis to just open up and talk to him. "We've been on the go constantly. You haven't really had time to grieve for your dad and everything that's happened properly, have you?" The usually spunky young man spoke seriously. "Listen, I know Gladio can be tough, but I really think he has his heart in the right place. He's just bad with words is all."

"It's... it's just," Noctis began, turning his head back forward and staring out into the night sky. "I knew, that it would be coming eventually. I knew that... I'd lose him... that my dad would be gone, but I guess. I just wasn't ready, and now... all of this, I-I...," his voice quivered, and Prompto could see the trace of tears trailing on his friend's face, the moonlight glinting off of them. Noctis rested his elbows on his knees, folding his hands tightly and dropped his head in between his shoulders, bangs falling unkemptly into his eyes. Prompto placed a hand on Noct's shoulder, allowing the grieving prince to cry silently for his loss and his burdens.

"I know, Noct. I know. You don't have to say anymore. I may not understand entirely, but I get it. You're my best friend, so I'm here for you if you need it." Noctis' quiet cries grew a bit louder, and Prompto just sat there, not making a move, keeping his hand supportively on his best friend, his brother's, trembling shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze to let him know he wasn't going anywhere. They sat that way for awhile, Noct's back heaving with each sob before finally calming down. Prompto could feel a small hiccup here and there, and then Noctis went completely still.

"I'm sorry," soon came Noct's choked voice, as he took a couple of deep breaths to compose himself and raised a his wrist to his eyes to wipe away any leftover tears. "I didn't mean to do that."

"Well, you're not exactly an MT, Noct," Prompto replied with a chuckle, and patted his friend on the shoulder. "I'd be worried if you hadn't done that. You're only human, after all."

Noct half-chuckled shyly, and stared up at the clear night sky once more . "Perhaps we should head back. If I know Ignis, he's probably getting frantic. He thinks he's my mom or something."

Prompto just laughed in agreement while the two boys headed back to camp, things seeming considerably lighter. By the time they had gotten there, Ignis was still seated next to the fire, and Gladio had once again, joined them. It was obvious the two friends were concerned for the temporarily missing prince. Noct just ducked his head, not wanting the others to see his face, or to know he had been crying, but Ignis' sharp eyes didn't mistake anything.

"Are you alright, Highness?" Ignis asked him softly as Noctis took a seat at the fireside. He glanced over into Ignis' worried expression.

"Don't worry, Ignis. I'm fine. Just needed a lil space to clear my thoughts for a bit," the prince responded, looking back at the bespectacled man. "And now I seriously need some sleep."

Gladio cleared his throat. "Sometimes we all need a little space to clear our heads. Hopefully, yours is more clear now, and we can focus on what we need to do," he responded gruffly, but Noctis didn't mistake the small grin that popped up on the king's shield's face. Noctis just smirked back in return before bumping the swordsman with his elbow. Prompto was right about Gladio. No more words needed to be exchanged between the two, and Noctis knew that Gladio's heart was in the right place, even if he didn't always like what the man had to say.

Ignis just sighed and nodded his head, pushing his sliding specs up his nose. "Indeed. We have a long journey ahead of us in the morning. Quite a bit of driving to do. Best to rest up while we still can."

Noctis just nodded his head in agreement and slipped back inside of the tent, bidding his friends' goodnight. He lay down on his mat spread across the floor toward the back of the tent and pulled the sleeping bag up over his shoulders. He rolled over onto his side facing the tent, and closed his eyes, tired and aching from crying. He was grateful for Prompto's comfort, and both Ignis and Gladio's concern. They weren't going anywhere. They weren't sending him off with lies and a smile, and there was still always the chance the Luna was alive somewhere. After all, he wasn't dead. She shouldn't be either. Cor never confirmed if Luna had died, so Noct held onto that glimmer of hope that his beloved was out there waiting for him. Maybe now, with his mind and heart more at ease, he could finally get a good night's sleep.

~End