Characters are property of CP Coulter. I definitely do not own Dalton or Glee. I also don't own Fleetwood Mac or their lovely song "Silver Springs" (which Julian alters a bit).
Not super realistic characterization, but I like the idea of Logan waking up and I love "Silver Springs" as a Julian to Logan song.
Enjoy!
It wasn't rational. They fought more than they laughed. Actually, Julian couldn't even remember the last time a conversation wasn't yelled between the two boys, let alone the last time they laughed together. It wasn't even a rational friendship, let alone a rational… Well, the best he could do was call it a crush. Not because it was superficial or because it was new. No, it was only a crush because Logan didn't reciprocate. Logan didn't care. Logan didn't notice.
Some days it was hard to figure out how he had gotten here. How had he fallen in love with his best friend when his "friend" was more like a yelling partner and he couldn't remember the last time they had talked about something personal?
But that was the answer to his question. They had been friends. They had shared intimate conversations, stayed up all night with Derek playing video games freshman year, and they had even managed to smile more than they yelled.
Now Julian had a love hate relationship with the arguments. It was the only way he could get Logan to himself. It was passionate. The only way he knew that Logan cared at all. Cared enough to scream at Julian when he could just walk away. Sometimes it was the best part of Julian's day. He liked the interaction and he liked to get a rise out of Logan. But it was so tiring. It was only fun until Julian wondered if Logan was having fun too. It was only fun until Julian realized that Logan was too preoccupied with Kurt to see anyone as something more than a stepping stone to that goal.
And here he was again. Tired. Tired of being Logan's pawn instead of his friend - instead of his lover.
Suddenly the question became how he had stayed in love with his best friend when he didn't think they were friends anymore.
"You wouldn't understand. I love him. And he… He could love me. I saw it in his eyes."
The words Logan had yelled not even an hour ago lingered in his mind. Julian sat down at the piano of the large hall and sighed. Logan wouldn't think to follow him here and maybe he could finally reclaim his thoughts.
Somehow he always ended up back in this hall. Even without being a member of the Warblers, the hall had ended up growing on him. Maybe the many years of drama had attached themselves to the hall like a scent left on a sweater, triggering fond memories.
But this was going to be the last time he let the hall make him remember. If the boy he loved couldn't keep him here anymore, neither could his stalker. And after his last blowout with Logan…well, Julian was leaving.
How could he keep hoping after all that had happened?
"I love him. And he… He could love me."
Julian placed his fingers gently on the keys and took a deep breath.
You could be my silver springs
Blue green colors flashing
Slowly he started to move his fingers across the keys and continued.
I would be your only dream
Your shining autumn, ocean crashing
And did you say that he's pretty
And did you say that he'd love you
Baby, I don't wanna know
Logan wandered the halls of Dalton, trying to cool down amidst the crowded halls. Maybe, for once, he would let the presence of fellow students keep him from making a scene. Or maybe he would find himself at the keys of the Warbler piano, singing a somber song.
He wondered what compelled him to sing something sad when, a few minutes ago, he had wanted to tear Julian's face off. If his best friend didn't believe he had a chance, was it time to give up? After initial concerns, Julian had always been there to cheer him on in his romantic endeavors.
Or maybe his compulsion to sing a somber song came from the one that slowly grew louder as he approached the Warbler Hall.
Turn around, see me runnin'
I'll say I loved you years ago
Tell myself you never loved me
A love song. Logan let out a silent bitter laugh at himself. So Julian was heartbroken? Was that why he had flipped out earlier?
And did you say he was pretty?
And did you say that he'd love you?
Baby, I don't wanna know
Oh, no
And can you tell me was it worth it?
Really, I don't wanna know
Logan hesitated at the doorway, looking in. Julian would run away if he saw him listening. So Logan decided to wait quietly. He wanted to hear this.
Time casts a spell on you, but you won't forget me
I know I could have loved you, but you would not let me
I'll follow you down til the sound of my voice will haunt you
But Logan couldn't resist the temptation of joining the chorus of the familiar song and as soon as he did, the music stopped and Julian spun around, panic faced.
"Fuck, Logan," he spat, startled at hearing the boy, and immediately rose to leave the hall.
Logan reached to grab Julian's arm, but Julian brushed by it and toward the door.
"Good bye, Logan."
Logan scoffed. "You haven't cooled down yet? Okay, fine, goodbye. I'll talk to you tonight."
Julian stopped and paused, considering whether he should keep walking.
"No, you won't." Julian didn't bother turning around. "I took the movie after all."
Logan scoffed again. "Well then, I'll talk to you whenever you get back. You weren't even gonna say goodbye, were you? That's fine. Fuck you. I'll see you in a few months."
Julian swallowed. This was it. No you won't. It was all he had to say. I'm not coming back. It would make Logan furious. A chance to fight. But what if it didn't make Logan furious? What if it did, for that matter? He was leaving to avoid the fights. Because they were an unhealthy addiction. Because they hurt physically as much as they hurt emotionally. Because they were the best he could get from Logan and they weren't enough.
Logan's brow furrowed further. Julian had paused for too long. "Jules…You are coming back, aren't you?"
His voice was softer than Julian was ready for. And so he just walked away, pretending Logan would just quit.
Logan made a move to follow his friend, but stopped and turned back to look at the piano. For a second he started to think about "Silver Springs." But there was no time. Julian was leaving and, goddammit, Logan deserved an explanation.
As he exited the building, he ran to catch up with his friend.
"What the hell, Jules?" Logan grabbed Julian's shoulder to turn him around. Maybe if Julian hadn't been wearing his trademark sunglasses, Logan would've seen the red eyes Julian was desperately hiding.
Julian managed a faint but firm "go away, Logan" before turning and continuing to walk.
"Why are you being such a baby?" Logan called, following after him. "Just tell me what's wrong. I'm your friend; we'll fix this and then you can stay and get back to –"
Logan had begun to smirk as he got to the end of his plan, but Julian had stopped dead in his tracks and Logan's smirk disappeared when he turned to see what had startled Julian.
On the bench outside of Stuart was a crash test dummy. This alone would have been weird enough - disturbing enough – but Logan saw red liquid across the dummy's chest. Blood. A message in blood. Did people really do that?
He took a closer look at the small red script.
DON'T WORRY – I'LL TAKE CARE OF HIM FOR YOU.
DON'T LEAVE FOR HIM – STAY FOR ME.
It was a fairly long message, Logan thought. Precisely done. The letters had stopped dripping, which meant it hadn't been done too recently. But they had dripped onto the bench. How had it gotten here without anyone noticing who did it?
As soon as one Stuart walked out and seen the display, a crowd followed to see what their friend was talking about. This included a determined Derek who pushed his way past the younger students. Briefly seeing the note, he turned to Logan and Julian, who was so panicked that he looked like he might topple over any minute.
"Logan, take Julian up to your room. I'll take care of this." And then he turned toward the gawking Stuarts. "All of you! Inside. Now."
The boys hesitated for only a second before following orders. Derek's yell startled Logan back to the real world. He grabbed Julian's hand and pulled him up the stairs.
