"We're here!" said Yuu.
Mika and Yuu had arrived in front of a small apartment complex in a quiet street in the Narimasu district, Tokyo. The pavement sprinkled with soft pink petals, the sun radiating in the clear blue sky, the uninterrupted sounds of the cicadas indicating that summer had begun; a perfect image for the start of their new life. The apartment building was nothing luxurious but it fascinated the two boys. The façade of the building was grey and dirty; some cracks here and there adding to the overall oldness of the construction. It looked like it had survived a handful of earthquakes. Even though it wasn't the best, it still was their dream home. They stood in front of the building, admiring it, warm summer breeze caressing their face. All of a sudden, a stronger gush of wind stole some petals from a nearby tree. The petals swiveled in the air and landed on Yuu's and Mika's hair. One lonely petal landed on Yuu's nose and made him sneeze. Mika giggled. Yuu-chan was so cute. Yuu frowned, a light blush falling over his cheeks.
"What are you laughing at?" he said, his eyebrows puckered.
"Nothing, you're just too cute," replied Mika and pinched Yuu's cheek.
"What-?"
"Come on Yuu-chan! Let's get inside!" Mika cut him off, "We have to find the landlord." He took Yuu's hand in his and dragged him through the building's door.
"The landlord's apartment is right next to ours," said Mika, looking at his phone, "she sent me a message earlier saying that the keys are under the mat of her apartment, in case she's not home."
"Isn't it dangerous to leave your keys under the mat?" said Yuu, "I thought city people didn't do that." He bent down and lifted the mat.
"There they are!" he said, jiggling the keys in his hand.
Trying to stand up, his head hit the doorknob and a loud cry escaped his lips.
"Yuu-chan! Are y-, Huh?"
Coming to Yuu's rescue, Mika tripped on the doorstep and fell flat on top of him, banging his head on the door. Brusquely, the apartment's door opened.
"So, you two are the new tenants!" exclaimed a woman's voice.
Mika and Yuu raised their heads tentatively. They were met with a sweet looking young woman, wearing a huge smile on her face.
"Yes, it's us!" said Mika, reassured by the woman's smile.
"That's a rather compromising position," said the woman still smiling wide.
"Oh umm, I… we tripped and…," Mika started explaining.
"Can you get off of me already? You're heavy!" snapped Yuu. His cheeks turned red from embarrassment. They had made such a laughable first impression to a woman they had just met, and that they'll probably have to see everyday since she was their neighbour.
"I'm sorry, you were the one who got hurt like a dumbass!" replied Mika, irritated, "I was just trying to help you."
Nonetheless, he stood up on one knee and offered his hand to Yuu, a kind smile on his lips. Yuu placed his hand on top of Mika's without hesitation, looking at him with a look. A look that the woman, watching this scene play in front of her, knew all too well.
"You're so embarrassing," muttered Yuu while Mika was lifting him off the ground.
"I see," said the woman while scribbling on a notepad, "a fierce, although shy dark-haired uke and a cool, kind-hearted blond seme. Perfect!"
Yuu and Mika looked at each other with a confused look.
"Anyways," said the woman, "I am your landlord: Hikari Jiyu, 29 years old. I live here with my husband. It's nice to meet you!"
Hikari was a petite woman, around 5'2, with short brown hair and big round glasses. She looked far younger than her age and her Japanese was excellent despite her being a foreigner.
"I'm Mika Hyakuya and this is Yuu Hyakuya," said Mika and they both bowed, "nice to meet you too, Hikari-san"
"Oh my god! Wait, wait!" shouted Hikari, "are you… brothers?" Her hands were covering her mouth, an expression of pure shock painted on her face.
"Oh uhm… not exactly?" started Yuu, a rather scared tone in his voice, "we are family but we are not blood-related"
"You see, we lost our parents at a young age and we've been living in the same orphanage," said Mika, "we have always been together since I can remember."
"We became each other's family!" said Yuu, smiling and looking at Mika. Hikari had noticed the look. She could recognize this look anywhere.
"This is absolutely beautiful," she whispered, writing leisurely on her notepad. "I see," she said, her eyes back on the pair, "so, I need to show you to your apartment now. Follow me please!"
Mika and Yuu followed Hikari to the apartment next door. Yuu gave the keys to her and she unlocked the door. They removed their shoes at the entrance and went inside.
"So, here is the entrance; to your left is the bathroom; to the right is the kitchen!" she said, walking further in, the two boys trailing behind her.
"Here we have the living room, the balcony…" she declared, waving her hands. Mika and Yuu were looking around them fascinated by the idea that this place, as common as it was, was their own.
"And here," she said and sprung the two boys out of their reverie, "I left the best part for the end," she whispered, opening a door, her eyes shining, "is… the bedroom!" she exclaimed and soon after disappeared into the said room. Yuu and Mika looked at each other bewildered but still decided to follow her. The bedroom was small and consisted of just a dresser, a window and a double bed.
"This is the bed you two will have to share because, you see," said Hikari, patting and caressing the bed sheets leisurely, "there is no second bed!"
"Oh, that's okay, maybe I can sleep on the couch…?" said Yuu, following Hikari's hand with his eyes.
"No no no! That's impossible! The couch is broken and there are no futons! You will sleep in the same bed!" snapped Hikari. The two boys looked at her with a questioning look on their faces.
"Umm… sorry about that…" she coughed. The woman proceeded to leave the bedroom and stand in the middle of the living room with her hands on her hips. "Well! Anyways, this is your new home! I hope you'll like it and that we'll get along!" said Hikari with a bright smile.
"It looks lovely," said Mika, "thank you for everything."
"Don't mention it, I understand that you two are barely adults," replied Hikari, "I had to make a better price for you."
"Barely adults?" exclaimed Yuu, "I am 18 and Mika is 19! We are as adults as we can be!"
"Now, now Yuu-chan don't be rude!" said Mika. He placed a hand on top of Yuu's head and ruffled his hair.
"Hey! Why do you always have to remind me that you are taller than me?" retorted Yuu and slapped Mika's hand off his head.
"When did I do that?" replied Mika, "I just wanted to touch your hair! It's not my fault you have a height complex!"
"Height… Height complex? I do not have a height complex!" shouted Yuu.
"Yes, you do!"
"No, I don't!"
"Yes, you do!"
"No, I don't!"
"No, you don't!" said Mika, smirking.
"Yes, I do!" shouted Yuu instantly.
They stayed silent for a few seconds.
"Fuck," said Yuu, lowering his head, defeated.
Mika was still smirking. But Yuu had an idea. He raised his head.
"Hey! That's not funny, Mika," sobbed Yuu, "You're so mean!"
"Oh no!" said Mika with a worried look on his face, "I'm so sorry Yuu-chan, please don't cry." He approached Yuu with the intention of hugging him. Except, Yuu tackled him and they were both sent to the floor.
"I may be shorter than you but who's stronger?" Yuu was straddling Mika's hips, leaning over Mika's body, his hands on either side of Mika's head. A rustling sound filled the room. They tilt their heads at once to see Hikari frantically pulling tissues out of a tissue box. Blood was dripping from her nose.
"Hikari-san, are you okay? What happened?" said Yuu and got off of Mika.
"Oh no, it's nothing! I get this often," said Hikari, stuffing a tissue in her nose, "no need to worry about me. Please, carry on!"
"I'm really sorry for our childishness, Hikari-san," apologized Mika, "we often fight over stupid things like these and get carried away."
"Don't worry about it," replied Hikari, "this gave me great writing material and I enjoyed…" she coughed, "I mean… it's nothing!" she added with a giggle.
"Umm… well, I should be going now! If you need anything I'm right next door! Bye!" she said, all in one breath. She run to the entrance in a flash and slammed the door. "Oh... umm bye Hikari-san!" waved Mika at the closed door.
"What a strange woman," remarked Yuu.
"At least she is kind," replied Mika, "and don't forget that she lent us this house practically for free!"
"Yeah! She mentioned something about paying in inspiration?" said Yuu, "anyways, this is officially our home now, Mika!"
"I am so happy to share a home with you," said Mika in a soft voice, "I have always wanted to live with you after leaving the orphanage, Yuu-chan. I can't stand being away from you."
He took Yuu's hands in his and three deep breaths.
"I love you," he said, a light blush on his cheeks.
"Mika, I love you too," said Yuu, squeezing Mika's hands, "you are my best friend in the entire world. You are even more than that…"
Mika's heart skipped a beat, he couldn't believe what he had heard.
"I… I am? Yuu-chan, I was thinking the same thing too… you know… about us. This can be the beginning of something new and amazing. And… even if we haven't done anything yet, I… really want to be with you, Yuu-chan. I want to-" Yuu cut him off.
"Me too, Mika. I want us to start our life together as adults."
Mika was lost into Yuu's green eyes, these same green eyes he had fallen in love with ever since he had seen them for the first time.
"Let's do the most adult thing we can think of," exclaimed Yuu, his eyes shining with excitement, "let's do it right now!"
Mika could feel his face growing hot. He could already tell that his cheeks were red.
"Y… Yuu-chan…" stuttered Mika, "I-If you are ready…. You know that I-I would do anything for you,"
"Okay so, with what should we start?" asked Yuu.
Mika was amazed at Yuu's straightforwardness. They were progressing too fast. He never though Yuu would love him back, and even go as far as asking him for such things.
"Yuu-chan, maybe…we can start with something a bit… simpler?"
"Oh! Come on, Mika! Don't be scared! How about…"
He hesitated, an anxious Mika staring at him.
"I know! Something simple!" said Yuu excitedly, "Grocery shopping! Grocery shopping can't be too hard! Let's buy food for this week!"
He broke free from Mika's hands and run to the door to get his shoes on.
"Come on Mika, lets' go!"
Mika was standing in the middle of the living room, mouth agape. He had just started to process what exactly has happened when Yuu called out to him.
"Mika? Are you okay?" said Yuu, worry in his voice.
"Huh? Yes, I am perfectly fine. Now, let's get going, quickly!" he brushed him off. He should forget any of this ever happened. 'Grocery shopping. Focus on grocery shopping,' he said to himself.
He got his shoes on, pushed Yuu in front of him and slammed the door behind them. They arrived at the supermarket which was a 10-minute walk from their place. The walk was uneventful, not without Yuu constantly asking why Mika's face was red and why his eyes were wet.
"What should we buy?" said Yuu, looking amazed at the supermarket shelves.
The products the supermarket offered here were ten times more varied than the ones they had back at the orphanage. They had every type of chocolates, sweets and delicious things Yuu had never even seen in his life. They had everything Yuu had ever wanted.
"Mika, look!" said Yuu, excitedly pointing at a shelf, "they have the limited edition Kinder eggs!"
"Yuu-chan, we shouldn't waste the little money we have on useless crap," said Mika, pushing the supermarket kart in front of him.
"Are you saying that my happiness is useless?" said Yuu, giving the puppy dog eyes to Mika.
"Come on, Yuu-chan, that's no fun," replied Mika, "don't make me feel guilty about not buying you a stupid Kinder egg."
"But last time we were in a supermarket, you gave in and you did buy me the giant cake I wanted," said Yuu, teasingly.
"That was when we were 13," said Mika, "I wasted my pocket money for the whole month because of you."
"You really like to spoil me," said Yuu and embraced Mika's arm, resting his head on his shoulder.
That he liked to spoil him was an understatement. He loved to spoil him. He needed to spoil him. He couldn't help it. He indulged Yuu's every wish. He could never do anything to upset him. He loved Yuu so much. So much, it hurt.
"Fine, I guess you are right. I should behave more responsibly," said Yuu.
"So, what do you want to eat?" asked Mika, "I'll cook anything you want. It's been a while since I cooked for you."
"Oh yes! Mika's cooking is the best! ~" said Yuu, in an adorable voice.
Mika's heart started beating faster. Yuu always found new ways to make Mika feel flustered. And this stupid kid hadn't even realized what he did to Mika's heart on a daily basis; hadn't even realized how much this hurt him.
They chose all the ingredients and moved to the cash registers which were packed with customers waiting to get their groceries checked out. The line was long which meant that Mika could stare at Yuu all he wanted. He had made it a habit of gazing at him as often as he could. Yuu was so beautiful, the most beautiful person in Mika's eyes; his green eyes that were sparkling whenever he was excited, his cute nose, his pretty lips that had the capacity of turning into the most heartfelt of smiles which always made Mika's heart skip a beat, and his silky black hair falling over his forehead. Mika could go on and on forever. He couldn't help but feel a sting in his heart at the thought of Yuu not being his.
He allowed himself to avert his eyes only for a single second; this single second was enough for him to notice a shelf with some glossy packages. He read the labels: "XL", "Ultra-Thin", "Lubricated". He soon realized what they were and he shot his eyes to his shoes. He could feel his face growing hot. He looked at Yuu again. He hadn't noticed his state. Good. God knows how much Yuu would tease him if he found out that he got this flustered over some condoms.
A crazy idea crossed Mika's mind. Without a second thought, he grabbed one off the packages and hid it in his pocket. It was as if his hand was acting of its own will. He looked at Yuu once again: he hadn't noticed him, he was too focused on drooling over the food Mika had yet to make.
"Yuu-chan, could you go buy some bread?" asked Mika, "I saw a bakery across the street, it'll save us some time."
"Sure, I'll go," said Yuu and he ran to the exit.
"And just bread!" screamed Mika before Yuu exited the supermarket and was out of sight.
Mika placed the pack of condoms on top of his shopping kart. He prayed for it to soon be his turn so that he could pay for the condoms and quickly hide them back into his pocket before Yuu returned. His turn came sooner than expected and he did just that. He didn't even know why he wanted to buy them. It's not like he would use them, right? In a small corner of his mind, he hoped that he could. With Yuu. He would never ever admit it but he had thought about it countless times. Especially during his teenage years, he would often have to wash his underwear in the middle of the night, being careful not to wake Yuu up. He sighed putting the groceries into plastic bags. He was hopeless; pathetic.
"Mika! I bought the bread!" he heard Yuu's voice shout from the other side of the supermarket. Mika smiled at him and gave him a thumbs-up. Yuu blew him a kiss. 'There it goes again,' he thought. His heart started beating faster and his face felt like it was going to explode. How could Yuu affect him so much, without realizing it? He sighed for the second time this day. He really was hopeless.
When they got back to the apartment, it was already the afternoon. Mika felt beat. He couldn't process his feelings. He didn't feel sadness, nor disappointment, nor anger. He was completely numb. He just felt exhaustion; his broken heart had worn him out. He put out the groceries and arranged them in the empty cupboards and fridge. He felt for his back pocket. He grabbed the pack of condoms and threw them in the trash. In this moment, he felt stupid. He will never have sex with Yuu. He will never even kiss him. He will never do anything with him. They will never be together.
He started cooking dinner. His eyes were stinging. He felt as if his whole life plan had fell through. Which was, really, what had happened. He was planning to confess to him on the first day of them leaving the orphanage. He had waited and waited for this day to come. And the day came. And he had confessed. He had finally confessed his love and he hadn't been rejected. He should have been happy. But it still hurt. He realized that Yuu would never see him as a potential lover. He felt a lump starting to form in his throat but quickly swallowed it. Maybe what had happened was for the best. Besides, the chances of Yuu actually accepting him and returning his feelings were very minimal. There was also the possibility that Yuu would not accept, nor return his feelings. If he had confessed and this was the result, things would have turned for the worse. Yuu would know that Mika was gay, he would know that Mika was in love with him. They wouldn't feel comfortable with each other. They wouldn't feel comfortable being so close anymore, physically and emotionally, as they are right now. They would probably not be comfortable living in the same house. By staying as they were now, Mika was able to be closer to Yuu.
It was for the best.
"Dinner's ready," yelled Mika from the kitchen.
They sat down in the living room and started eating.
"It's so delicious," said Yuu, stuffing his mouth with food, "I love your cooking!"
Mika felt flustered again. He felt so annoyed at himself. He had to stop feeling this way.
"Thank you, Yuu," he said.
"Where's the -chan? You've always called me Yuu-chan before,"
"Well, don't you think it's a bit childish, still calling you Yuu-chan?" said Mika, "you used to hate it when we were smaller."
"Maybe, but I'm so used to it now," responded Yuu, "besides, deep down, I really like it," he added with a smile.
"Ok well, I'll still call you Yuu-chan if that makes you happy," Mika replied, "now if you'll excuse me, I need to go to the bathroom. Please continue eating."
He left the table, entered the bathroom and locked the door behind him. He looked at himself in the mirror. His eyes were looking sad. He was worried that Yuu would notice. His heart ached so much. He wanted Yuu to be his so much. Tears started rolling down his cheeks. Above everything, he didn't want to make Yuu worried. He splashed water on his face and took deep breaths. He had to get himself together before exiting the bathroom. After calming himself down, he unlocked the door and found Yuu waiting for him right in front of the bathroom.
"Hey, are you okay?" he asked, a glint of worry in his emerald eyes.
"Yes, I'm okay," replied Mika, smiling.
"You sure? You seem tired,"
"Yeah, I am really tired," replied Mika, "all this excitement and everything…"
"Yeah, I understand, me too," said Yuu and caressed Mika's hair, "then, shall we go to sleep?"
"Yes, we shall," said Mika, trying to contain himself. He had to stop being flustered when Yuu touched him. He had to get used to it. Besides, it was like he had never confessed, he should act normally, like he always did.
He had thought. Until. They got in the bed.
"Good night Yuu-cha-," he started saying, getting under the sheets, "what are you doing?"
"Huh? I'm just taking off my shirt," Yuu responded, "it's really hot!"
Yuu had grabbed the hem of his t-shirt and had lift it over his chest in a swift movement, exposing all of his upper half. Of course, Mika had already realized how beautiful Yuu's body was. But now it was different. Yuu's beautiful body was half-naked, on top of a bed, with Mika on the same bed. This was too much.
"You don't have to, it's not that hot," said Mika, an obvious blush on his face. He averted his eyes from Yuu's abs to try to fight lewd thoughts from forming inside his head.
"It is. It's summer!" said Yuu, "Get yours off too."
"I don't want to," said Mika. He plopped on the bed and placed his pillow over his head to prevent him from looking at Yuu's chest.
"Come on!" urged him Yuu, "Get your shirt off!"
"I said I don't want to!" replied Mika.
"Then I'll do it myself." Yuu got on the bed next to Mika. He got on top of him and snatched the pillow off of Mika's face.
"What the fuck are you doing?" yelled Mika, "stop it!"
Yuu ignored his demands and ensued to grabbing Mika's t-shirt and lifting it over his body, not without struggle, as Mika was desperately trying to kick and punch Yuu off of him.
"That's better," he said, proudly.
"What did you do that for?" said Mika, his face all red.
"I didn't want you sweating in your sleep and then complaining to me about it in the morning," responded Yuu.
"It really wasn't necessary,"
"You'll thank me later," said Yuu and placed a kiss on Mika's forehead "Good night, Mika."
"Yeah, good night."
Only that Mika couldn't sleep. He could feel Yuu's slow breathing on his bare back. Yuu was so close. Mika turned to his side; a sleeping Yuu inches apart from him. Mika's breath hitched at the enticing image. A ray of moonlight was piercing through the window, illuminating Yuu's body. Mika could see every muscle, every bone of Yuu's chest. His body felt incredibly hot. He needed to touch him. To feel him underneath his palms, his fingers. His hand moved on its own, as if there was an Without realizing it, he had placed a hand over Yuu's ribcage. He could feel Yuu's lungs being filled with air with every breath he took. He could feel the pulsing of Yuu's heart. He could feel Yuu's whole being. Slowly, he traced the outline of Yuu's chest with his fingers. He made sure to caress every inch of the incredibly soft, warm skin. His hand traveled over his abs until it reached the band of Yuu's underwear. Mika blushed and quickly withdrew his hand before getting carried away. In that moment he got aware of his own underwear's tightness. He wanted more. So much more. Touching him wasn't enough, he wanted to taste him. He looked at Yuu's face. He was serenely sleeping, with his lips slightly parted. Mika placed his thumb over Yuu's pink lips. 'Just a little bit,' he thought and moved his head closer to Yuu's. He took a deep breath, and then. His hear jumped out of his chest. "Mhm…" Yuu had suddenly muttered in his sleep. Mika instantly pulled back with a shudder. He almost fell off the bed doing so, which pushed him to get down from the sleep like state he was in. To Mika's huge relief, Yuu hadn't woken up. Mika got up from the bed and hurriedly went to the bathroom to take care of the issue in his pants. He locked the door behind him. Panting, he looked at the bulge in his underwear. He had gone hard just by touching Yuu's sleeping body. The shame he felt at this moment was indescribable. He sunk to the bathroom's cold floor. He felt as if a big knot was climbing up from his chest to rest in his throat. He was suffocating. His eyes were burning. An unwanted tear rolled down his cheek, and then another one, and another one after that until his eyes and cheeks were damp with tears. He didn't dare touch himself in this state. His heart burned. "My Yuu-chan," he whispered, "I love you so much."
He couldn't go on like this. He had to end this, he didn't want to hurt anymore. He had to stop feeling this way. He had the immense chance of seeing Yuu every day. He shouldn't ruin this chance by behaving recklessly and getting found out. Just being with Yuu and occasionally fantasizing about him was the best he could get. He had done this all those years anyways. Everything should remain the same.
It really was for the best.
A/N: Hello everyone! I'm currently shaking. This is the first time I ever write a fanfiction. I'm so nervous! I had this chapter ready since November but I only posted it now, because I was so scared lol. I'm so excited to finally post it!
I designed Hikari based on myself, appearance wise and personality wise (I didn't back down on the whole fujoshi thing). "Hikari" means light in Japanese, which is what my name means in my native language. If you're a fujoshi or a fundanshi I hope you'll be able to recognize yourself in her.
I really hope you enjoyed this first chapter! :D
