I'm breaking the rules! Well, my OC Fantasy Addict is. Each chapter will be about my OC breaking (or making) rules from each popular Transformer-rules story! Hope you like it!
FIRST UP TATYANA WITWICKY AND HER STORY "Guidelines for living with robots part 2."
I do NOT own Tatyana Witwicky (the OC). She belongs to Tatyana Witwicky (the amazing Fanfiction author).
"Could you please say 'I never knew my father?'" Fantasy asked Ironhide. Tatyana Witwicky stood right next to the curly-haired girl, waiting.
"I never knew my father?" the weapons specialist asked, unamused.
"No, no, no!" Tai waved her hands around for emphasis. "It has to sound sad and loud and drawn out."
Fantasy nodded and scribbled something on her clipboard...most likely a daisy.
"Why are you bothering me with this stupidity?" he rumbled in his usual tone.
"Because we're comparing your voice to Bruce the shark's voice from Finding Nemo."
Ironhide shuttered his optics once then walked away.
"Wait!" Fantasy called, beginning to chase him, "At least say 'It has been three weeks since my last fish, on my honor, or may I be chopped up and made into soup.'"
She gave up after a few yards of running, then walked back over to Tai. "So our conclusion is..."
"Hey Bee!"
"How's it going!" Tai took the clip board and tossed it into the trash, that current project over.
"Fine how are you girls?"
"Fyyyyyyynnnnneeee," Fantasy trailed as Tai's cousin, Samuel J. Witwicky walked out from behind his guardian. "Heyyyy Sam," she cooed, batting her eyelashes and grinning.
He blinked. "Hi."
Tai pinched Fantasy's upper arm, making her squirm and glare daggers at her multi-color haired, cyborg friend. "Is the only reason that you're my friend is to hit on my cousin?"
She paused. "No...well, partly."
"Is Jazz home yet?" Tai asked about her sparkmate. The two had been together for 2 years now and had adopted an abandoned sparkling, Sparrow.
"Right here, babe," he called, Sparrow in his arms.
Fantasy clutched at the air to say that she wanted to hold the sparkling. "Comon' she and I are getting older by the second, I won't have much time left to hold her before she gets her first set of cannons!"
Jazz transferred his daughter to the full-human. Her knees bent from the weight, but she was able to shift the large sparkling onto her side to sit on her wide hips for better balance. "This is how my grandma always held me," she told the sparkling, tickling under her chin.
Jazz and Tai kissed briefly, but Fantasy turned her face away as she always did. She caught the eye of Sam and winked. He rolled his green-brown eyes and crossed his arms. He had on a long sleeved sweater.
Fantasy jolted as "S.E.X." by Nickelback blasted from her side pocket and began vibrating at the bottom of her pocket which was near her crotch.
"Fantasy!" Tai mock-yelled. "I told you to keep that thing at home!"
Fantasy shrugged, going along with the joke. "Frag on the fly. You never know when you'll need it." She giggled, then transferred Sparrow to her mother.
She scrolled through the text message. "Oh crap," she breathed. "Prowl accepted and added to your new 'rules.'" She glared at Tai. "Thanks a lot! Do you know how set back we are!" she stomped around in a small circle. "We barely finished breaking all the rules on your last list, we'll have to break about 45 rules this week just to catch up for the next round of rules!" She sighed and sat down, exhausted from thinking of all they needed to do within the next 7 or so days.
Optimus Prime strode into the room to get a quick debriefing from Jazz who had gone on a short spy mission. He took notice of Sam's attire. "Why are you wearing a long sleeved shirt? It's 95 degrees today."
Tai glanced at Fantasy, sharing a secret thought.
"This is why!" Fantasy said as Tai, who was closer to Sam, slapped him hard on the back. Sam shrieked in pain and his sleeves rolled back a bit as he curled. His skin was red from a horrible sunburn.
"I love the feel of grain, the screams of a man in pain..." Tai began singing, quoting "the Ferret Song" then shrank as her father, Optimus Prime, gave her a strange look.
"Ah, two more rules for the list, thank you, girls," Prowl reported, walking by as he most likely tapped his new rules onto his datapad.
"Damn it!" Fantasy yelled.
THE NEXT DAY
"AHHHHH! TWINS!" Jazz bellowed.
Tai rolled off her bed in shock, the robotic side of her body slamming against the hardwood floor. That night she had bunked with Fantasy in her large room instead of spending the night with her sparkmate. "Fantasy, did you-" she stopped as she looked around the empty room. "Fantasy..." she growled.
Every mech and femme ran out of their rooms and gathered outside their rooms, then flattened against the wall as a yellow and a red blur ran by followed closely behind by a red-opticed Jazz...his arms out in front of him...only his arms.
Everyone raced behind them until Jazz had the twins cornered in the large meeting room. A partly-armored Ironhide, who was unable to finish getting dressed because of the surprise call-to-action, grabbed Jazz from behind and pinned him down, waiting for orders from Prime.
"I'M GOING TO OFFLINE YOUR AFTS! OPTIMUS OFFLINE THEM!" Jazz bellowed, struggling beneath Ironhide's bulk.
The two major twins walked around calmly, a frighteningly gleeful expression on their faceplates. Nothing was good when they looked pleased.
Fantasy crawled out from behind Sunny's chestplates where she was hiding and sat on his shoulder plate like a parrot. He stroked the top of her head while she pretended to bite his finger.
Ironhide helped Jazz up, but still held one arm in case he decided to lunge.
"What did you two...er, three do?" Optimus asked, dumbfounded (and it's difficult to make Optimus dumbfounded).
Each Twin held up a shiny metal servo and said with pizazz, "JAZZ HANDS!" and shook them around.
Tai's optic and eye widened incredibly. Then facepalmed into her metal hand. "That's just weird."
Optimus mirrored her expression, also facepalming.
Jazz tried to.
Fantasy fell off of Sunny from laughing hysterically as she watched Jazz shove his stub of an arm into his face. She was easily caught by Sideswipe.
"Fanny, I'm going to kill you," Tai whispered menacingly.
Fantasy's eye twitched as she used a horrible nickname for her. She shrugged off the distasteful name and said directly to Tatyana and Prowl, "One rule down! Plenty more to break!"
"And five more made," Prowl said in an unnervingly happy tone.
Ratchet smacked the Twins with his wrench. They dropped their 'jazz hands' and the medic picked them up to begin welding them back onto Jazz.
Fantasy just sat in Sides's servos as he and his brother rubbed their helms.
"I love you Ratchy-poo!" she cooed, thanking Ratchet for not punishing her.
He too facepalmed, but he was still holding one of Jazz's servos and facepalmed himself with Jazz's hand.
Ratchet looked down and mumbled, "Oops."
"You three are insane!" Chromia said sternly, then held back laughter.
"I'm not insane! My mother had me tested!" Fantasy replied, crossing her eyes and adding a wagging tongue.
She jumped from Sides's hand (knowing she'd by caught by someone), fell into the servos of Arcee, then was placed on the ground.
"One day we might not be fast enough you know," Arcee had to say.
"You said the same thing to Tai! And she only wasn't caught once!"
Tai couldn't resist forgiving her psychotic friend with a bone crushing hug after she saw that Jazz's servos were easily placed back on.
"I gotta go," Fantasy said as Prowl stared at her and asked her to go to the brig.
"So what do you have planned for tomorrow?" Tatyana asked before she left.
She grinned. "Oh you'll see."
RULES USED FROM "Guidelines For Living With Robots Part 2" by Tatyana Witwicky. (Most likely another chapter from her rules sometime in the future).
Rule #21: The term 'Jazz hands' is to never be used again.
Rule #29: Never start Quoting the Big Bang Theory.
*"I'm not insane! My mother had me tested!"
Rule #32: The 'Ferrets Song' is banned from base.
Rule #33: When a someone on base has a sunburn, don't decide to announce it to all the bots by slapping the victim on the back.
I'm breaking the rules, one story at a time! Know any good Transformers-rules stories? Contact me! And please review!
