Eyes without color

Do you see what I see? No no no, don't laugh, don't raise your eyebrow, this is a real question. Do we, you and I, see the same things? Do we see the same colours? Do we see the same people? The same trees? Does the wind feel the same when it kissed my skin as when it kisses yours? We are both human, but do we truly relate on more than just our species? Do we experience things the same way or are we different parts of clay that has been shaped into our bodies with a spice of the illusion we call soul and individuality?

When you look into the forest, do you see the shadows I do? The shadows that move on the ground, shapeless and laughing. Do you see these monsters? No, you see the animals, the clearings, you see the warmth while my eyes only notice the dark. That is where I have been for a long time, hunting in the dark so you will feel safe in the light. That is why we see things differently. You live in the light, I fight to protect it. I can look at people, revelling in the light and I feel a sense of joy, but if I stare to long my eyes start to burn. They say I am the chosen one, it feels more like a curse. I am the cursed, the banished, the lamb god sent out to protect the herd.

I carry this blade and I carry this smile. A smile that I have moulded into my own clay. This fake lie that is plastered on my face. Careless, funny and happy. That is what my friends call me, however, I am depressed. I can't see the beauty in the worlds anymore because I only look for the darkness. I can't enjoy my friends anymore because I know that if I am not ready, they will be gone. I live in a state where living can't be called a life. I live in a state where I have to be on edge or they will disappear before my eyes. Who am I kidding, I am a miserable individual, I am a part of the bad clay. That is why god cursed me to keep the shadows at bay.

There was one light in my life though, the one thing I travelled worlds to find, to protect. Kairi, the girl I could never stop thinking about, the girl I could never get out of my mind. The girl that gave me a spark of joy in my life. When I saw her smile, all my worries disappeared. She knew magic and she used it on me whenever she was around. Making me smile and laugh and generally have fun. Enjoying life and time and not wanting to use my own powers to disappear.

She used to be the light I saw, but every light fades with each flicker. Now she is growing tired of me. The distance we had was what kept us apart, but also together. The dreams of when we could live together, laugh together and smile together made us endure the pain and the suffering we had to endure. I just what her to be happy and that Is the sad part. My heroic soul can't stop being, well, heroic. Here I am, being me, lonely, bitter, sad, hurt, but all I hope for is her happiness. Her smile. Maybe I will be blessed with one more smile before she disappears.

Kairi is now sick of me. She wants me to be her knight when she is hurt, her shield when danger is close. She is oblivious to the damage she afflicts me. It is almost ironic that we are so different that what we used to be, more mature, and with mature I mean less living. Small things would make us laught, smile and cry. Now all we do is nothing and nothing is all we do. My time with her has become time that has passed, not memories that warm my heart. It hurts, I won't even lie.

No matter, I will endure, because that is what I have always done.

I am Sora and we do not see the same. We are not the same, therefore we can't experience the same. My life is over, my role is set, yours is open and complex. Don't lay down your arms until the fight is over. I have fought and now I have lost. I yield I yield and I am forever lost.