Dear Tessa,
When I met you I could not take my eyes off you, what was worse was that I could not take my mind off you. Your name, your voice, your face are all that I think about. You have consumed me, when I see you my body sets on fire, it is alight with passion, blazing through my veins, I am alert and I am so totally awake when I see you I couldn't possibly think to sleep.
This is why I am here now, writing this to you as I will not be here tomorrow, nor the next day or the day after. I will never be returning. Now that you are out of reach there is no reason for me to be here. It may be selfish of me, so incredibly selfish. But I cannot bear to see you and Jem together happily. It tears me apart, rips me to pieces and crushes my soul. I can tell you now, this is no dramatization, and it is the literal truth. I won't ever be at peace here now in the Institute, which is why I must leave. I must leave for my own self-preservation.
I constantly think about what it would be like if we had a future together. I am thinking of it now, we could be living in the country side with our children, running through the fields. So tranquil, we could have eternity in our own littler forever. If it was not for me thinking I had a curse I would have confessed my love sooner, much, much sooner.
Maybe in another life we will have the lives I thought out for us, to me it is almost real and when I think about it, the ache stops for a while, then I touch base with Earth again and all hope is lost.
Just remember that my life burns bright for you, as long as you are happy I am happy, if you are sad I am sad, my heart beats for you. My soul is yours, my life, and my love. Everything that is so personally mine is yours and always will be.
Forever yours,
-William Herondale
