"Shit"

Blue. Clear blue. As clear a blue as a clear blue fucking day gets.

Shit…

Holding the 'clear blue' clear as day stick in her hands, tears welling at the corners of her emerald eyes, the convulsions of anger rippled through her, visibly shaking her slender frame, reverberating along the tears that reluctantly slid down her burning cheeks.

Dammit. Dammit. Dammit. Dammit all to hell! Blazing fury over took her for a split second, sending the 'clear blue' stick clearly flying, fast as light, shooting through, blasting a hole through the wall to her bathroom, shattering of the mirror, rebounding of the opposite wall, leaving cracks and chucks of tile dropping off from the force of the impact, falling to accompany the stray piece's of mirror now glittered across the floor.

Well fuck, isn't that just nice, another seven years of bad luck, added to the brilliant luck I already have, not forgetting the new hole in my bathroom wall-ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, pink hair violently swishing as she threw her head back, unable to take it anymore, unleashing the shrill, blood curdling, piercing cry that was her only consistent thought process, screaming bloody murder, setting her larynx on fire, almost annihilating any windows, glass, or ear drums, in the painful path of the billion octaves too high sound wave which she let off.

"FUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKKKKK"

Gasping and panting, she collapsed in a crumpled heap on the soft carpet of her living room. After sufficiently relieving at least a fifth of her uncontrollable and inexpressible anger and frustration, she felt severely exhausted, with her throat feeling adequately abused and the tears slowly subsiding, she raked one shaky hand through her long pink locks, forcing her mind back onto the logical trail.

Taking a deep breath, she let her legs out from underneath her and leaned back all the way to lay her back on the floor, her legs out in front of her, her eyes closed as she tried to remember.

What she could remember and did know was that she had woke a couple of weeks or so ago in the highly expensive, very sophisticated, penthouse suite of a hotel she would never be able to afford, after a party at Genma's. She figured she must've gotten long past pissed at the party, thanks to the bitch of a hangover she'd had after. Hah, so pissed I didn't even know who I'd spent the night with, how ironic, she sighed distressed to herself.

Ok, so she knew that much, what she didn't know, and what she would know even if it fucking killed her, was who in the bloody hell she had spent the night with, because she'd definitely spent the night with someone, otherwise the space next to her on king size bed she'd woken up on wouldn't have been rumpled and warm, neither would the very high bill have been paid, and definitely neither would she have been in the situation she was in now – unless she was able to reproduce asexually (and force once she wished she could, maybe then she wouldn't be in the position she was in).

She would find who the fuck, screwed her over and then so coward-likely left, leaving her to suffer the consequences. She would castrate the bastard with her bare hands if she had to, either way, someone was going to take the brunt of her anger and pay for the sorry fuck up he'd made of her life (though she refused in anyway, to even think of any of this being in any way her fault, regardless if she had been the one drinking and probably had bought the whole thing on herself…).

Resolution burning bright in her jaded eyes, Sakura reached for her phone.

She would start with Naruto. Deciding he was the easiest target and most likely to confess as she dialled his number.

"Hey Naruto…"


If there was anything Sakura was grateful for in the major fuck up she'd just made of her life, was that she didn't have a mission that morning. She leisurely strolled through the streets, soaking up the sun, practically breathing in the vitamin D, as she mentally battled with herself, trying her best to ignore her inner turmoil, willing with all the mental will power she could muster in those weak moments for someone to just come and pour bleach in through her ears so it could fry her brain, simply so she didn't have to think anymore.

Pushing the glass door open, the twinkle of a bell greeted her arrival, as she walked over to the booth Naruto sat at, surprised for once to see him early, actually feeling suspicious of the action.

"Sakura-chan"

"Naruto" she smiled taking the seat opposite him.

After ordering, the real conversation began, and Sakura very carefully began to lay her cards down on the table (not literally of course).

"So…Naruto"

"Hmm" he looked up meeting her gaze, snapping out of some kind of un-Naruto-like revere.

"You remember that party a few weeks back?"

At the very mention of it, blood flooded the innocent blonde's cheeks, leading Sakura to raise an eyebrow questioningly at him.

"Y…yeah…" he muttered unsure, after a while.

That's it, Sakura thought, best be direct and get it out of the way.

"Where did you wake up the morning after?" the pink haired kunochi blurted out in such a tumult, that it took a while for her best friend to understand her, but when he did, he went a further five shades red (if it was possible).

Shit, this can't be good

"Naruto…" Sakura spoke first, breaking the silence, an intonation of anger rising in her voice.

"Ah..erm…with… um.. next…t…to..h…" Naruto stuttered unable to get the full sentence out, his cheeks such a dark shade of crimson they could match up to the café's table cloths.

"Just spit it out!" Sakura burst, suddenly unsure of how badly her future would pan out.

"Hinata!" Came his loud reply, a little too loud for the quite down-town café, but Naruto didn't notice for he was too busy, well- blushing."

"Hah?" Sakura deadpanned, relived and regretful at the same time.

"At Hinata-chan's house. But you can't tell anyone Sakura-chan! The Hyuga's will castrate me if they find out!"

"Im gonna castrate you in a second if you don't explain!"

"What is there to explain! We got so drunk at the party we ended up at her house, and you know… and the worst thing is I can't remember anything, I just woke up there, so baffled…"

"Ugh, I know how you feel"

"Do you know how hard it is sneaking out of the Hyuga compound at bloody flipping 6am? They even have guard dogs you know, I almost had my ass bitten off, escaping from that death trap and with a bitch of a hangover as well."

Sakura smiled, she and the blonde were so alike, she was so grateful for such a best friend, at least she was sure there was someone she could trust enough to tell.

"Yeah, same..." Sakura replied monotonously, suddenly feeling tired all over again.

"What, you almost had your ass bitten escaping from the complex as well?" Naruto questioned confused "Don't tell me Sakura, you with Neji-"

"Don't go there" she cut him off before he could go any further "though it's possible…" she mumbled.

"What's going on Sakura-chan?"

"Well you see I woke up in a similar position to you…." Sakura continued on telling the depressing story of how she ended up, now searching through all the men in Konoha and who knows even beyond that, for the man who did this to her.

"Fuuuuuck" Naruto exhaled, at the end of her tale, completely empathising with his pink-haired best friend.

"I know right, and I don't even know who did this to me, I can't even remember his face for fucks sake!"

"Well Sakura-chan" Naruto started carefully, "Can't you, you know, get an abor-"

There was a sickening crunching sound as Sakura's fist connected with Naruto's face in a well-deserved punch.

"Maybe not…" he muttered to himself, cursing under his breath as he clicked his jaw back in place, rubbing it sorely.

"Ahhh, Naruto what am I supposed to do!" Sakura mourned, smothering her face in her hands, willing the world to just end right then and there, "Not only am I pregnant, two weeks, according to the bloody 'clear blue' stick, which made its way through my bathroom wall by the way, breaking my mirror in the process… that seven years bad luck you know! Ahhh I'm so fucked…." Sakura trailed off, not making sense anymore, her head then making a thudding sound as it connected with the hard of the café table.

Naruto resisted the urge to say, 'you most certainly are' in response to her last statement, but since he didn't want to be resetting his jaw and who knows what other bones, he instead proceeded to place one large hand on her head, ruffling her lengthy pink locks, in a comforting gesture.

"Don't worry Sakura-chan, I'll help you find the bastard who did this to you, heck I'll even help you castrate him"

Her head shifting under his hand, so she could glance up at him, only to see him smiling down at her, Sakura couldn't help smiling in response, he knows me so well.

Taking a deep breath, in one fluid movement Sakura's head was up again, staring straight into Naruto's eyes, determination smouldering her eyes. Naruto grinned wider, cleverly avoiding telling Sakura about the red mark on her forehead, her bangs covered it any way.

"Let's do this!"

"Yeah! Commence operation; Catch dick-head-who-knocked-up-Sakura-chan-and-left-scott-free-and-castrate-him-in-the-most-painful-manner."

Naruto's redundant cries of pain could be heard miles away, as Sakura sighed clicking her knuckles.

It was going to be a hell of a long day.


A/N: Ok honestly i was on a bit of a high on this one, ugh ive been listening to that stupid butterfly mega remix too many times... Erm i really dont know where the hell this is going, the idea started a couple of days ago after I wrote a friend a crack-fic of Bulma working at a strip club, then this happened. It was ment to be a oneshot buuuuut i just phail like that, so it wont be too long...hopefully.

For those who bother to read this, i think i actually listened to Sorry Sorry about a hundred times writting this, and it is now 5am... bloody hell its 5am! Waiit why does this feel strangely like Deja vu.

Ah welll, reviewwww, and gimmie ure thoughts on it, i like to know _