AN: This is my first Naruto fan fiction. Basically, this is supposed to be for entertainment only! So, please, do not judge its stupidity. Sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes; there is not any spell check on this program. I'm currently on vacation in England and my grandmother's computer is rather suckish. Oh, and please, do keep in mind I have not read the manga or completed the anime! All characters will be alive- And, yes, I know Deidara's dead and Tobi (Madara) is not clueless. Again-for entertainment only! Oh, and I know Kakauzu and Hidan are dead, Sasori, etc.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters.

The Portal.

It was somewhat of an ordinary day in the Akatasuki's base. Kakuzu was looking through a brief case of money, making sure he had the exact amount he was told he would recieve for a body he turned in. Deidara was constructing random sculptures that would soon explode in battle, Tobi was bothering him, Pein was absently staring at a wall, Konan was making origami, Hidan was cutting himself and praying, Itachi was fixing his hair, Sasori was inspecting a puppet, Zetsu was sitting on the floor doing nothing, and Kisame was feeding his brand new fish named Finn. Kisame loves Glee.

Tobi poked one of Deidara's new sculptures, seeing if it would explode or if it contained a Dango.

"God damn it, Tobi!" Deidara shouted, a vein popping from his head. He crushed the bird he was constructing in anger, and Tobi jumped back in alert. "Stop distracting me, you idiot!"

Tobi laughed. "Senpai! You look funny when you're angry! Ah, senpai, senpai!"

"I will kill you, Tobi!" Deidara held a fist to Tobi's face. "Go to your room or something!"

"Will you love Tobi if he goes to his room?" Tobi asked happily.

"No! Just go!" Deidara screamed.

"Ah, senpai, senpai!" Tobi yelled as he ran into his room. He closed the door quietly and sat on his bed. He looked to a small, purple orb lying on the floor. "How did that get there?" Tobi asked himself aloud, bounding to the floor and poking the orb. As he did so, the orb made a screeching sound and grew much, much larger; forcing Tobi to scoot backward against his bed. "Ah!" he exclaimed in interest. "A portal! I wonder where it will take me? I hope it takes me to a Dango shop!" And with that said, Tobi hopped into the portal with a bright light flashing behind him.

"Where am I?" Tobi asked aloud as his feet touched tatami mats. His eyes locked onto a huge stash of Ramen Noodles on a small wooden table. "Ramen!" Tobi exclaimed. "Not as good as a Dango shop, but it will do!" Tobi pounced over to the stash of Ramen and began to eat every single cup until there was nothing but a fork left on a table of empty Ramen cups.

"That was good and filling!" Tobi said happily. He began to stand up, but heard a key turning in the front door. "Oh, god! Oh, god!" Tobi panicked, looking around for somewhere to hide. Suddenly, the orb appeared next to his foot. "Ahhh!" he whispered happily, poking the orb. It grew to a large size again, and just as the door opened, Tobi jumped into the purple orb.

"Who the hell ate my Ramen?" Tobi heard someone scream as he spiraled somewhere else. The voice sounded like one of a 15 year old male's. He shrugged as he stay floating through the orb's power, not caring who it was.

Tobi now landed somewhere else, and he was not sure where. He heard the sound of running water and under his feet were tiles. He looked around and his eyes took focus to a silhouette behind a white shower curtain. The body had a sleek figure and Tobi's eyes took forms of hearts. The shower curtains began to be pulled back; the water now shut off. Tobi was frozen solid; not able to move from his position until he knew the person behind the curtain. As the figure stepped out, it locked eyes with Tobi.

"W-woah!" The figure screamed. It was Chouji. (AN: It's an illusional curtain that makes you look skinny XD.)

"Yaaahh!" Tobi screamed, turning around and poking the orb that had appeared in the air next to him. He immediately jumped into the orb and was taken away in the spinning of the teleportation.

Tobi wanted to go home now. He did not want to risk anything like what he had just seen happening again.

Tobi wailed as he was struck onto the floor of someone's bedroom. He looked up to see a pink haired teenage girl undressing. She looked to him, her eyes like daggers. Before Tobi could explain, he was punched through many walls and into the nighttime air. He soared, screaming, through the night. "Ahhh!" he shouted as he saw a large base in his view; he was going to land right on top of it. "Oh, it's the Akatasuki base!" he exclaimed happily as he burst through the roof. He landed on a group of Deidara's newly created sculptures.

"Tobi, you're going to die!" Deidara screamed.

Ha, pay no attention to the Chouji-behind-a-shower-curtain-looking-skinny thing. Just... Just pretend that the shower curtain is illusional *O* RxR?