You As You Were
By Any Unborn Child
He could no longer be supported by the wall. The weight of his body, of everything, pulled him down, back down to chalky cold earth. Dim gold lights stayed in his peripheral vision, not quite within reach, not far enough to hurt. Sakura and Syaoran's sleeping bodies lay stagnant on the bed across from him - again, within reach and not far enough to hurt.
Sentences whirred around his mind as he replayed the last few moments of his conversation with Kurogane.
He had mentioned the past, how he didn't care about it. Well, that was to be expected.
The present, however, was a different matter.
He let those last words sink in.
Before now, before everything, the present did not matter. It was always the past that took his focus, occupied his thoughts like an old friend, his old companion. It was always the past that dogged him, pursued him, and drove him to the smile that he wore on his face to this day.
Everything weighed on him, weighed down like oh so many things.
The words, the actions, the hurt of the past weighed him down until he was nothing.
Even so, that didn't change the fact that he did care – about Mokona, about Kurogane, about Sakura and Syaoran.
He cared.
Fai covered his face with his hand, and laughed softly, at himself, at what he had become.
"My present. That's the hard part."
