Title : Joan of Ark 101

Author : DiBee

Summary : My answer to Challenge n7 for the Penguins' site, based on Oscar Wilde's quote : The advantage of the emotions is that they lead us astray, and the advantage of science is that it is not emotional. Humor/Romance

Disclaimer : Don't own nor gain anything...

Rating : K

Spoiler : None (sadly, Sam and Jack aren't together in that reality. Ouch, that was a spoiler already^^)

N/A : English still isn't my first language, Sam/Jack still is one of my favorite ship, I'm still crazy, and thankful for all of those brave enough to read my stories through.

Sometimes, Sam was taken aback by the voices in her head. Had her life been a cartoon of some kind, there would be an angel on one of her shoulders, a devil on the other, both pleading for her to listen to their advice. But life wasn't like that. Hers was divided into two different parts : rational, though not quite angelic, and irrational, not quite devilish either.

The rational part was dominant, and tend to eye suspiciously at the other one with an obnoxious grin that could make Sam roll her eyes for no foreseeable reason. When she did just that, the irrational part of her brain usually screamed for her to run away from the quizzical glance she received, but, sadly, her legs, and the rest of her body for that matter, seemed to be linked to the rational part of her brain.

Now, there was times, when the irrational part occasionally took over. Most times because of one Jack O'Neill, Air Force officer, and pretty attractive, if you ask her. If you asked her unconscious, actually, because she wouldn't reveal it even under any kind of torture. Rationality, remember?

But that man... nothing was rational about him. Nothing, from the warm feelings his smile created from her cheeks down to the rest of her body, to the stubborn thumping of her heart when he was close to her, was rational. Neither that, nor his humor, which she always loved, despite her various -failed- attempts at hiding it.

The man was a mystery to the science girl perched on her shoulder, and after years of battling, it often let the other part take over, analyzing the guy with all she had been previously taught to ignore. The more dangerous part of what life could be. Not any kind of bomb or anything, or rather another kind of very dangerous, and shameful-deadly bomb : emotions. The emotion girl sitting on her other shoulder, that she usually depicted with pig tails and cheesy smile, would jump up and down as soon as he came around, demanding more attention than it usually got. The problem was, Sam tended to give it more and more attention. The science girl then pouted, and as a revenge occasionally took control of her mouth to throw a few catchy scientific words in the mix. Hence the usually weird look on the CO's face. Oh, yeah, because the guy, ok, the very attractive Air Force Officer, was her CO.

See, that was her problem, because she really, and by she, she meant both the science nerd and the cheesy emotional girl, didn't want to end up behind bars, courtesy of a court martial, thank you very much.

But even when the rational part took over in any conversation between the two, sometimes, it would wander around, throwing ideas about Golden Mean and perfect proportion's of one's body, and... she would just snap in full math-fangirl mode, and scare him out.

A third voice would tell him : It's for the better, at least you saved you carrier on this one. But she would quickly shut the annoying voice down that sounded far too much like her father's, and get back at the topic at hand. Well-build CO with sense of humor checking her out. By checking her out, she actually meant getting out of the base along with him, past the check point. That was all any of the creatures on her shoulders could bare before getting over excited, and letting that big grin of hers lightening up her face. And, somehow, she had the feeling that trying to explain in front of a court martial that the reasons why she had harassed her CO were the voices in her head wouldn't help.

Joan of Ark, 101.