Mega X-Over Rap Battles: JonTron vs. ProJared
Rated T for language
Summary: In the first episode of Mega X-Over Rap Battles, the RPG-obsessed gamer ProJared takes on the no-mannered heavy set gamer JonTron in a battle of normal boots and dope rhymes! Inspired by Epic Rap Battles of History.
Disclaimer: I do not own any TV show, video game, comic book, cartoon, YouTube, wrestling, anime or movie (including the characters) whatsoever.
The time: 8:00 p.m.
The place: An abandoned warehouse somewhere in New York City.
By now, the warehouse was getting filled with nothing but spectators full of fans from the entire hip-hop culture. It was full of men with street clothes and women wearing a whole lot of racy clothing, who were ready for the rap battle to get started already.
After a lot of patient waiting from the fans, a white man with spiky brown hair, denim jacket, denim pants and brown work boots came out to a lot of cheers from the pumped-up crowd while the camera was zooming in on the host.
"Hello everyone, and welcome to the first premiere episode of Mega X-Over Rap Battles!" The host said to another round of cheers, "I am your host MacDizzy and we are here to bring you two of your favorite characters from all media to engage in the biggest rap battles to end all rap battles! You know how this goes, two of your favorites face off and after the end of their rap battle, you all get to vote on who wins. Remember, not also does it come down to favoritism, but it also comes down to how their dope rhymes and putdowns went. Remember, the decision is in your hands, everyone!"
After being greeted by another reaction from the fans, MacDizzy decided to get to the action right away by bringing down the respective turnpost and ring ropes all around him as if he was standing around a wrestling ring.
"And now, it is time for our first rap battle!" MacDizzy said while introducing the contestants, "First up to my left, he resides in Los Angeles, California and is very well deep down in knowledge of RPGs and Dungeons and Dragons! He may be skinny, but damn, does he spit out some dope lyrics. Give up for Jared Knabenbauer, aka ProJared!"
Suddenly, the song "Hello Summer, Goodbye Winter" by FantomenK played throughout the warehouse as a man with a boyish haircut and a collared blue shirt came out to a huge frenzy from the spectators. He even took the time to high-five and fist bump them as well before getting inside the ring.
"ProJared, everyone!" MacDizzy replied.
"For some good reason, I came out with pants this time!" ProJared exclaimed to the rest of everyone.
"Hey man, keep those secrets to yourself." MacDizzy said to ProJared before introducing the next contestant, "Okay ProJared, meet your next opponent. The loyal founder of Normal Boots and easily a guy who can be passed up as Josh Peck's other twin brother, give it up for Jon Jafari, aka JonTron!"
The people then pointed to the right and noticed a heavy set human entering from the garage door wearing a tuxedo, decked out with black hair and stubble around his chin while at the same time coming out to his own theme song. ProJared looked on as JonTron had entered through the ropes and onto the makeshift ring, where he stood next to the skinny RPG-er.
As the crowd finally died down, MacDizzy decided to explain the rules to both men, who were listening very carefully to him.
"Okay homedogs, you know the rules to this rap battle: I'm gonna give you a minute to pull off your best skills and your best rhymes. We had a coin toss earlier in the show, and JonTron will be going first. After this rap between both of you ends, the crowd will vote on whoever had the best putdowns and grills in your rap skills, which will be enough to pay the bills. All I can say is this: May the best man win, my dogs."
"You're going down, you skinny goblin!" JonTron said to ProJared.
"Same to you, you fat piece of marmalade!" ProJared shot back.
"With all the trash-talking aside, let's get it on!" MacDizzy exclaimed as he stepped aside.
With both ProJared and JonTron facing off against one another, a snazzy hip hop beat started to play out, forcing JonTron to start out first.
JonTron -
Yo yo yo, this is J-O-N Tron, big and strong as a horse
I'm like Macaulay Culkin from Home Alone, I strike homebreakers with force
Everybody says I pass up as Josh Peck, I got no problem with that fact
You dare challenge me, I say you just signed your death pact
There's no way you can step up to me, I shine like the star of a night light
You're more appealing than Charlie Angels on GameCube, with that smell of rancid Hydlide
So you dig RPG's and Magic: The Gathering, big deal ya skinny Plain Jane
I take on all kinds of media, especially that horrible Takeshi's Challenge game
That game and your rhymes share a difference, now that I really think about it
The other one was crap and the other one was s**t!
ProJared -
Oh ha ha, how adorable, you really know how to rhyme
Hearing you rap around me in circles makes me wanna get myself high
I may be skinny like a pitchfork, but my rhymes are as sweet as a Crepe
You're as sour as the voices in Mega Man X7, nothing but a fat case of earrape
I'm just a work in progress with the momentum of Final Fantasy
Your act's just as bland as Tamagotchi, only if it had horrible epilepsy
You don't wanna cross my path, I suggest you leave with a frown
Cause I'm explosive as a bomb that blows your ass like Kid Klown
You haven't heard of him, I heard he went on a Crazy Chase
Because he ran away from your horrible rap, the one with that s**t-eating taste!
JonTron -
That bullcrap rap of yours don't impress me, I've heard it all before
They wanted to drown themselves from MK Mythologies, even getting hung themselves from all the gore
You can't run away from the Jon itself, I totally beat you in this rap
So go be like Drake of the 99 Dragons and get covered on Sony's crap!
ProJared -
Oh that burn was just so lame, is that what you've really thought up
I'd rather play Bubsy 3D with my hands down, than to see your rap when I upchuck
I heard KKK wants you so bad, they love a guy with a racist rant fed
So, it's time for me to roll D&D dice on your ass, 39 points, you're dead!
The rest of the 'OHH's' had broken out throughout the warehouse, resulting in tremendous cheers from the entire crowd of people. While ProJared smirked and JonTron scowled, MacDizzy approached both of them with quite the impressed grin all over his face.
"Damn, I've never seen a rap that impressive than Eminem in 8 Mile!" MacDizzy exclaimed. "What did you all think, huh?"
Hearing this coming from the host, the crowd once again broke in much louder cheers than ever. Both ProJared and JonTron felt the energy of this crowd, giving them all they had to their raps, but they already knew that one of them would go on top after this was over.
"I'm glad you all think so, because it's time for you homies to vote on the winner!" MacDizzy pointed to the camera. "You know what to do here, text on your phones, text on who you want to win this epic rap battle. I'll be back after the commercial break to give you the results later on, until then, keep on comin'!"
I'll tell ya, this is gonna be fun!
By the way, you readers can choose a winner via review or PM. And the winner will be revealed by next chapter. So bring on those votes!
Oh, and don't forget to leave a feedback while you're at it! Peace, my gangstas!
