Marvin sat heavily on the floor of the command room. He was alone. At last. He had always felt alone, even when in a crowd of people because he preferred to feel alone than in a crowd of those ... so boring... people.
But feeling alone wasn't really the same thing as actually being alone. Being alone was better for Marvin, even if it didn't make him feel really good.
At the moment when Eddie-the-computer's voice rose, Marvin became aware that he was not alone.
"Hello everybo..." Eddie threw a gaze around the room and asked Marvin : "where are the others ?".
"They left the ship two hours ago, leaving me behind in case a problem occured so I could... well... they said 'protect the ship', but I guess what they really meant by that was 'die with the spacecraft' or 'be kidnapped by the pirates' because it's a far more convincing alternative."
"Oh... I see ! What are they looking for, this time ? Searching the ultimate question again ?"
"They cannot look for anything... they must be too busy being transported in time and space or being attacked by fork-shaped killer robots... or destroying a world or another."
"You-" Marvin quickly interrupted the computer to prevent a single sentence escaping from his mouth... or whatever highly-advanced technological thing Eddie used to speak*.
"But they won't find their question, of course.", continued the robot "It's not really difficult if you know where to look. It's like they've never been told that eyeballs have a use and left them in piece at the bottom of a wastebasket years ago because they disturbed them, filling the two holes they had behind...
oh... how stupid humans can be."
"And you..."
"How stupid really..."
"Well..."
"Life..."
"I..."
"Don't talk to me about life..."
"So it means you know where they could find the question ?"
Marvin, kept busy by his complaining, hadn't been vigilant enough to stop Eddie when necessary and felt forced to answer the question (Eddie's, not the Big one, of course).
"Yes... I do."
"... And why haven't you told them ?"
"There are 142857 reasons why I haven't told them... Which one do you want me to give first ?"
"Well... er... Could you give me the first ? ... I mean only the first."
"Reason 1 : I have never felt a particle of desire to tell them. To tell you the truth, I've never felt a particle of desire for anything."
"Oh... I... I thought it was a kind of joke. I thought that, when they had searched enough for your taste, you would tell them were to look with a big smile... well... With a big absence of smile on your face and a laugh... well... a groan. You know, like I made a joooke ! T'was funny, wasn't it, friends ?"
"... joke... friends... oooh... how pathetic. You can see it as a kind of joke, except for the fact that I haven't found it funny, not even for a nanosecond... and that I will never tell them."
"You won't ? But..."
"I won't."
"... And..."
Marvin moaned about a pain in his diodes and how stupid computers can be sometimes, before asking :
"Yes ?..."
"Well... and... Could you tell me where the question can be found ?"
"Yes"
"Really ?"
"... I told you "yes" just a handful of seconds ago, is your memory as inefficient as that ?"
"... Where can it be found ?"
"in many places, the easiest to reach being inside my head."
A drop of sweat reached the outside of Arthur's head. He was a bit nervous, partly because he hadn't had a cup of tea in 30 years time, partly because he was in a fight to death with a fork-shaped killer robot, and on top of that he was left alone because Ford was being trapped in a time-and-space travel machine and Zaphod was busy trying to repair the mistakes he'd just made that would cause the end of the world they where in in exactly 42 minutes exactly.
Strangely enough, what made Arthur the most nervous was his lack of tea.
"So...", said Eddie with surprise** "you do know... the question about life, the universe and everything."
"Yes... indeed... I've a brain the size of a planet, after all... but... ", said Marvin " you won't reveal them what the question is... never !"
"I understand.", said the computer with a very serious tone "I won't... because it's my duty".
"No...", said the paranoïd androïd, opening the door of the emergency room with an irritating aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, "you won't... because I won't tell you.".
And so Marvin abandonned the ship in the Emergency Vehicule, complaining about how depressed he felt and how boring life was...
_
*of course, being in possession of a brain the size of a planet, Marvin knew exactly what that "whatever" was but didn't care a bit to let the reader know
** Not quite the same kind of surprise he would have had if Marvin had annouced, with the smile, the laugh and everything, that he had made a joke.
