Everything in her life was failing; leaving her more and more heart broken. Her sister away in Africa, trying to stick to her good girl image and being a good daughter and then to dealing with her parents fighting violently in front of her very eyes.

What made her stay strong? The one and only Eli Goldsworthy. The only one to make her feel special and loved. The only one who would catch her when she falls. She loved him like he loved her. She would think "What would ever ruin this thing we called love?" Maybe the certain ring on her finger, the sign of abstience. She wanted him, he didn't want her. He didn't wanna ruin her innocence, the only thing that screams "Clare Edwards!" She was too fragile and too beautiful and the last thing he needed was her to regret it. Not to mention he had a dark past that haunted him.

It's been 6 months since they last seen each other; since she last seen his beautiful green sparking eyes and soft, angelic face. She was suffering inside but she knew she had to be strong.

But what if she can't take it anymore? What if she dreams and hopes and prays he'll come back into her life? After all, she deserves to be happy too, right?

If This Was A Movie:

Last night I heard my own heart beating

Sounded like footsteps on my stairs

Six months gone and I'm still reaching

Even though I know you're not there

I needed him. I needed him to survive. It's been way to long since I've last seen his beautiful face and his signature smile and smirk. And the way his voice sounded when he would tell me he loved me..I needed that.

Ever since my dad and mom started fighting, I started to die inside. I kept everything inside. Well not until I met him. Eli Goldsworthy.

He taught me to let everything out, to not hold it in. To stick up for myself when I needed to. To be myself but be happy and confident with it. And at the same time, I was falling for him.

It's not like I had anyone else. I didn't have any many friends or any support system. My friend Alli would always be with her boyfriend Drew, making out with him and being all lovey dovey. I didn't need to see that, specially when I didn't have anyone for myself.

My other friend Adam was more of Eli's friend. He would be there for me when I needed it but since we broke up, we haven't really talked. It would be a "Hi, how are you?" and that was it.

My sister was gone in Africa and left me here with my sensitive mother and conceited dad. They would fight and fight, right in front of my very own eyes. What would I do? Try my best to not break down right there. They sometimes would hardly notice me standing there. They would think none of it bothered me. Like them yelling and screaming was okay.

I wanted them to just tell me. Tell me that they were going to file for a...divorce. That word scared me half to death and the thought of my parents not being together...I didn't really imagine it. Everything was all fine when Darcy was here, but when she left me here alone with them, they broke and blamed each other for almost everything.

I was sick of being that little, innocent, sweet angel. I was Saint Clare to many people. Did I like being called this? Not really. I wanted to finally stand up for myself the way I wanted to and prove to people that I wasn't just a saint. I wasn't this clean, sweet Christian girl with two respectful parents, loving God with all their hearts.

Eli was different then me. Very different. From the dark gothic look, to his religious views, to the way he looks at life...It was different but it was soothing to me. I wanted to be different.

I was playing back a thousand memories baby

Thinkin bout everything we've been through

Maybe I've been going back too much lately

When time stood still and I had you

We were English partners. Not only did he help me try and let everything out, he helped me with my writing, where I could express my feelings. I wrote a paper about my parents and I was going to read it to everyone but my mom was there and I didn't wanna tell her how I felt about it in front of hundreds of other people.

He was everything to me. To this day, I regret doing what I did. I just wanted to make him happy. I just wanted us to become closer. I wasn't rebelling against anything, I just wanted him.

He didn't wanna hurt me. He had told me "This isn't what you are." Well I didn't, and to this day, don't know who I am. After all of the pain I've gone through and him there to witness most of it, he knew I had changed because of what I was feeling inside.

He...sorta blew me off. Denied me. Told me he couldn't do it anymore. He didn't wanna hurt me. From his past and the present, I guess I was just too much for him to handle.

He had a girlfriend named Juila. They were soul mates. They were fighting too much and they couldn't stand each other anymore. They were both saying bad things to each other, when she decided to walk out. He cursed her out and said some negative things that caused her to grab her bike and cry home. Well, not all the way. She could hardly see where she was going and got into an accident and..passed away. It was 2 years ago and to this day, he still isn't over her. That's what ruined our relationship. His past was there to haunt him.

He thought he killed her. He knew he was the reason she was all upset and was crying too much. He lives in regret.

When he was in pain and I was in pain, how would it work out?

I wanted to be closer to him and he hurt me. What did I do? Walked away like she did to him. Walked out of his life.

Come back come back come back to me like

You would you would if this was a movie

Stand in the rain outside til I came out

Come back come back come back to me like

You could you could if you just said you're sorry

I know that we can work it out somehow

But if this was a movie you'd be here by now

So here I lay, in my bed, restless and careless. For 6 months, I slug around, not caring, not smiling, nothing. I haven't seen him at school, I haven't seen him at his house, he never returned my phone calls, and after a few weeks, I stopped. I stopped bothering him. I would think "If he wants me back, he'll come back."

He probably never will..

I know people change and these things happen

But I remember how it was back then

Locked up in your arms and our friends are laughing

Cause nothing like this ever happened to them

Alli would always tease us about how much we were in love and how we would never break up. She would say "Me and Drew will never have something as strong as you and Eli!"

I would smile wide and hold his hand tightly as my other arm wraps around his shoulder. He spoke up and smirked. "We don't plan on breaking up..ever."

I felt a tear drop fall from my eye as I wiped it away furiously. I was never mad, just heart broken. He would constantly tell me he would never leave me and couldn't imagine us not together.

Now I'm pacing down the hall

Chasing down the street

Flashback to a night when you said to me

Nothing's gonna change not for me and you

Not before I knew how much I had to lose

"Clare." He had whispered, sending shivers down my spine. He placed my curls over my ear as I looked up at him, still shivering from his touch. "Eli." I had replied back, out of my breath.

"I love you." He kissed my lips ever so softly, but enough to send me to heaven.

"I love you too." I whispered back.

"I want to promise you something." He turned serious now and all I did was nodd. "I promise you, Clare Edwards, I will never ever leave you and I will promise to love you as much as I can. Do you believe in this promise?"

All I did was nodd and the tears started to fall when I noticed the promise ring in his hand. He kissed my cheek, wiping away the tears that were fallen. He placed the promise ring on my other hand from my purity ring and kissed my lips sweetly.

I believed him. I loved him. I still love him...

If you're out there, if you somewhere, if you're moving on

I'd be waiting for you ever since you've been gone

I just want it back the way it was before

And I just wanna see you back at my front door

And I'd say...

I was hoping he would come back to my door and apologize. Say that he loved me and needed me but didn't wanna hurt me..I didn't understand that day. He never gave me a good explaination. Why didn't you wanna love me? Why didn't you wanna at least tell me..not now?

Come back come back come back to me like

You would you would if this was a movie

Stand in the rain outside til I came out

Come back come back come back to me like

You could you could if you just said you're sorry

I know that we could work it out somehow

But if this was a movie you'd be here by now

You'd be here by now

It's not the kind of ending you wanna see now

Baby what about the ending

Oh I thought you'd be here by now oh ohh ohh ohh

That you'd be here by now..

I sighed and closed my eyes tight. I was alone home, as usual. Parents at what they call it "Talking time." I knew what they were really doing. Either planning a divorce or trying to work it out by doing therapy. I was hoping it would be therapy but the fighting was too much.

I had to admit, since they found out about my newly depression, they haven't been fighting too much. I'd sneak and him my mom say "Let's not be too loud now, Clare is upstairs." or "Let's take this outside, Clare is in the house."

I was desperate to get out of the house somehow but where was I to go? Everywhere reminded me of him. The Dot, the park, even school. I just wanted to stay in my room, on my bed and continue staying depressed until one day, magically, he would show up at my door.

In my dreams.

I opened my eyes by the sound of the door opening and I heard my mother's voice. "Clare! Clare come down here!"

What now? The talk, finally?

I groggily walked down the long steps and made my way to the bottom. As I was about to roll my eyes at my mom and dad's presence, someone other then them got my eyes widen with full of attention as my heart started to skip a beat.

Green eyes met with blue as I was left with my mouth hanging wide open.

Eli.

So this was my first Eclare story! Don't blame me if it sucks because I was only reading my favorite author's stories and not actually writing an Eclare one so bear with me if it sucks, okay? I'm still progressing as a writer so I know some of the scenes may be a bit confusing or something.

But if you really liked it or have any comments..you should leave me a review. Many of the Degrassi fans on here are amazing and the reviewers give so much good feedback so I'm hoping on at least a few!

I plan for this to be a two shot or maybe three shot..Either way it's fun to write

I love you guys!

Oh and follow my tumblr? xsparksfly . tumblr . com

:)

-Nessa