Right so this is the first Mighty Boosh fanfic I've ever written, it was originally a Valentine's Day present for a friend of mine but after some consideration I thought I'd post it on here as well. It's not the best thing I've ever written and I'm absolutely crap with titles but just humor me and give it a look. Reviews are appreciated. Cheers!
Love Drug
Late afternoon saw Vince Noir, rock and roll star alone in the Shoreditch flat he occupied with his mates, Howard, Bollo and Naboo. Howard had gone out with that sad old man he always seemed to hang out with, Lester Concrete, or was it Cornflake? Whatever.
Naboo had been called away to some sort of shamanic conference with Bollo in tow, he assured Vince that it was very important business although Vince had long suspected that these so-called "conferences" were just an excuse for the shamen to get stoned off their tits, judging from the way Naboo always managed to return higher than a kite. At this particular moment the dark-haired, blue-eyed man was submerged to his waist in one of Naboo's many magic cabinets, casually rooting through the contents. He'd come up here because he'd been bored and was hoping to get his hands on Naboo's Miracle Hair Wax, the weather of late had been taking a rather worrying toll on his fringe and his usually shiny locks were looking a bit dull and droopy which in Vince's mind wascompletely unacceptable.
He'd been looking for at least half an hour and his usually short attention span was waning fast. As he was about to give up and go back downstairs to read his new copy of Cheekbone Magazine, delivered this morning by ninjas, something bright standing out against the other dull glass bottles lining Naboo's cabinets caught his eye. Attracted like a budgie to shiny objects, Vince reached for it without hesitation and drew out a small bottle of bubbling pink fluid.
Mesmerized Vince could only gape as the sunlight caught the potion, causing it to burble and fizz, his fingertips tingled where they touched the bottle like a pleasant electric shock. Vince uncorked the bottle in one fluid motion, instantly he was overwhelmed by the strong smell that emanated from it, it smelled of strawberries, vodka and electro music. "Drink me Vince" it seemed to say and like Alice in Wonderland he was happy to oblige. He tilted the bottle toward his mouth and-
"Vince you ballbag, what the hell are you doing?" a voice cut through his reverie and it sure as hell was not the potion. Vince jumped, nearly dropping the potion, "N-Naboo, I didn't hear you come in."
"Careful with that you berk, if you spill any of that on yourself you'll fall in love with the next person you see!" Naboo shouted.
"Wot?!"
"It's a love potion" Naboo explained "and it takes twelve years to make one so don't spill a drop."
"Love potion?" Vince echoed curiously, arching one perfectly groomed eyebrow.
"What you doing in my room?" Naboo demanded, eyeing Vince and the potion suspiciously, ignoring his question.
"I just wanted a bit of your Miracle Hair Wax, my hair's nearly as dull as Howard's" he shuddered at the thought.
"It is looking a bit flaccid" Naboo remarked dryly, he turned and pulled the hair wax off of a nearby shelf and passed it over to Vince
"Here."
"Cheers Naboo" said Vince flashing his trademark grin; he turned to go, "Vince!"
"Huh?"
"The potion."
"Oh right sorry" he hesitated for a moment before passing the small bottle over to Naboo "What's a shaman like you want with a love potion anyways?" he asked, voice tinged with obvious amusement. Naboo turned the colour of Vince's red drainpipes and turned away
"It's for shamanic purposes" he said quickly.
"Right" Vince chuckled and walked off.
For the rest of the day, try as he might Vince couldn't keep his mind from wandering back to the love potion; it was as though it was calling out to him, daring him to take it. He was sitting in the kitchen peeling a satsuma, his hair back to its usual luster thanks to Naboo's hair wax, when Naboo and Bollo wandered in.
"Hello Vince" grunted Bollo, "Cheers Bollo" Vince replied, barely looking up.
"Bollo and I are DJing at the Velvet Onion tonight" Naboo informed him.
"You want come with us Vince?" Bollo asked.
"No thanks guys, I think I'll stay in tonight" Vince replied.
Naboo and Bollo exchanged a glance "Suit yourself" Naboo said with a shrug and the pair walked out "Oh and Vince" he added doubling back "Whatever you do, don't touch my love potion, it could be very dangerous, it's never been tested before."
"Yeah alright" Vince mumbled and with that Naboo and Bollo left the flat leaving Vince to his own devices.
Only two minutes had elapsed and Vince was bored already, his mind, rather predictably wandered back to the love potion, hadn't Naboo said something important about it? He couldn't remember, what he did remember was how the potion had made his fingertips tingle and the heady intoxicating scent it had emitted that made his legs tremble. Without a second thought he abandoned his satsuma and climbed the stairs with mounting excitement. He hesitated as his fingers reached the doorknob to Naboo's room, it was a well known fact that the shaman's room was off limits to Howard and Vince and he got very upset when they ignored this rule.
Vince considered turning around and simply going back downstairs, Howard would be home soon, they'd find something to do and he'd be able to forget about it, but the potion's allure proved far to strong and before he realized it he was standing in the center of Naboo's room surrounded by cabinets and trunks packed full of all kinds of potions, remedies, ingredients, ointments and things Vince's small mind couldn't even begin to imagine.
He glanced around, searching for the potion, spotted it, oh god, it was too good to be true, it was within his reach, tempting him, taunting him with it's saucy pinkness. Another second and he'd reached out and grabbed it; it felt so good in his hands, little shocks of electricity running through his fingers. He suddenly remembered what Naboo had said about it being dangerous, he bit his lip, it certainly didn't look dangerous; it was pink for Christ's sake. Although previous experience should have warned him that listening to Naboo was in his best interests he couldn't help but wonder if the little shaman had been pulling his leg this time, it was a love potion after all not a book of black magic, or even beige magic for that matter, what was the worst that could happen? It wasn't as though someone could love themselves to death.
Suddenly a thought he hadn't had before struck him, he was Vince Noir, rock and roll star, what on earth was he doing with a love potion? People fell in love with him all the time; men and women alike practically threw themselves at him every day. He pondered this for a moment longer, he hadn't actually stopped to think what he'd do with the love potion once it was in his grasp, and now that this thought had occurred to him his enthusiasm deflated considerably, so the potion was useless after all. Well, maybe not entirely useless, he thought cheering up a bit, perhaps he could use some on Gary Numan or even Mick Jagger, he'd only take a few drops, Naboo would never even notice. With a little squeal of glee, Vince turned and ran down the stairs, potion in hand, already lost in his blissful electro fantasies.
Well that's the end of the first bit, hopefully it wasn't too terribly bad, I'll probably have the second bit up tomorrow while all my mates are out and I'm sitting at home writing fanfiction.
