"The first fall of snow is not only an event, it is a magical event" -- J. B. Priestley

I can remember the first time I ever held her in my arms. That one perfect complete moment, where everything else faded away, seemed to last less than a heart beat. I had thought nothing of it at the time and I had let that moment go almost unnoticed. The thought of it not happening now filled me with unease and a painful longing that can only be mainly distinguished by food. How was I supposed to know that that moment could have been a turning point for my life? It's like waking up on Christmas morning when you are a child and you don't know what day it is. You lie in bed and then once it hits you, you are annoyed that a few precious were wasted on sleep. I didn't know it at the time, is what I'm trying to say.

That's how I felt when I was with her, full of anticipation. Waiting for her to turn around and notice me, like she always does. However small a gesture, she always knows I'm around when I thought I had the power of invisibility. I was good at blending in, not being noticed. She proved me wrong. She was so different in so many ways, that it made me want to stare at her for hours in wonder. I knew that for me that would be no problem but it would raise eyebrows non-the-less. No one noticed me before she came, and I never wanted them to, I still don't know if I want them to. But either way, she'll turn around and smile at me or ask for my opinion. She may want closure or answers and I provide what I can.

When I held her, I couldn't believe how small she was…so delicate, light and fragile. Mentally, I had never met a more stubborn, confident person - but she was just so small. Her build told me she wasn't strong or overly athletic. Her hand eye co-ordination was less to be desired and she couldn't defend herself against a person if she wanted to. Even her fellow girl classmates could drag her along with them without even trying. And the wonderful irony was she had no idea how easily it could happen, but that was annoying at times too. Her light could be extinguished forever if some one tired. I probably wouldn't have to try very much ad I would be able to. When that thought first went through my mind I felt ill.

When she's around me, it's like the first time all over again. I knew that she was a girl at that moment and I felt only one emotion. I still can't name it, language never being one of my fortes. I could see the golden chandelier and her head rise to meet it. As I held her in suspended animation the light radiated from her brown hair, a bemused expression one of innocence and honesty on her face as she looked down at me, a halo surrounding her. It was truly magical.