AN: This is my first Glee Fic. It is probably going to be a long one. Rated M for future chapters. Hope you enjoy!


Rachel Berry was destined to be a star; that much she knew for sure. This undeniable truth was the only thing that kept her sane most days. She had thought that having made it to Regional's, Glee Club would have been boosted in the social standing at WMHS, but she was completely incorrect. IN fact, Glee Club was considered just as lame as ever and the slushies and teasing had failed to cease. Even with Finn as her boyfriend, she was still considered an ugly freak. Although she would never admit that the teasing got to her, it had begun to wear her down. She hid it from Finn and her dads, mostly out of embarrassment, but also because she felt like there was truth in it. She hated feeling vulnerable and helpless and would rather act like the insults didn't get to her than show any weakness. Glee club was the only place she felt accepted, and even then there were moments of hostility between her and the other members. She couldn't help that she had a million ideas for ways in which the club could improve. She knew that she could be brash and came across as overbearing, but her excitement often overwhelmed her and she wanted every opportunity to showcase her talent. Her voice set her apart from everyone, it was the one thing that she felt made her special and it was valuable to Glee and therefore so was she.

It was Monday morning and Rachel woke up happy. She had spent the entire weekend with Finn, mostly watching Barbra Streisand movies, and she was so excited to be seeing him at school in a few short hours. They had really begun to connect and Rachel started to feel less needy around him. She trusted him and what they shared and was no longer afraid he was going to leave her for someone hotter or easier. Rachel wasn't stupid, she knew she wasn't the hottest girl in school and Finn would probably start getting frustrated with her if she continued to deny him reaching anything more than second base, but she just wasn't ready yet. She thought she was with Jesse and it had all been a lie, so she wanted to make sure that this time it was going to be perfect. Thinking about Finn took Rachel back to Saturday night. Saturday night was her dads regular date night, so she knew that they would have the house to themselves. She took Finn upstairs to her room with the intention of only having a major make out session, but as they were lying on her bed, Finn looked at her and said he was in love with her. He had said it before, but it seemed so honest and real this time. Of course she loved him back, but she still wasn't ready to go all the way. He started running his hands up and down the sides of her ribs and it sent shivers down her spine. She loved the way Finn touched her and kissed her and it took a lot of effort fighting the feeling of wanting to do more with him. But it ended there and they just made out for ages. It was nice, in fact it was perfect and Rachel couldn't have been happier with the evening. She had a boy that loved her and while everyone at school might hate her, she knew that she had someone who didn't.

She jumped out of bed after reminiscing about the weekend and threw on some workout clothes. She grabbed her ipod, pumped on some of her go-to work out songs and began her usual half hour session on her elliptical before racing to the shower. AS she undressed she tried to resist the urge to look in the mirror. Some days shge hated looking at her body because all she saw was imperfection. She knew she wasn't fat, but she still despised looking at herself naked. In truth, as much as she wasn't ready to go all the way with Finn, part of that feeling came from the fact that she was worried about being completely exposed to him. If she wasn't 100 per cent happy with her body, how could he be? She decided that it wouldn't hurt to skip breakfast that morning. After blow-drying her hair and putting on a little bit of makeup Rachel set about choosing an outfit for the day. Although Rachel was constantly criticised for the was she dressed, she loved her sweaters and knee high socks. It was her signature look and she wasn't about to change it. She opted for her favourite blue polka dot dress, some white knee highs and cute paten navy shoes. She grabbed her bag and checked the time. She liked getting to school early and put in some practice for Glee before any of the other kids showed up. It was 7:30 so she still had time up her sleeve. As she made her way downstairs she called out for her dads. She walked into the kitchen and found a note saying that Daddy had to go out of town to help with a surgery and Dad went into work early to get a case ready for court. He would be home late, but had left money for takeout. This wasn't unusual. Her dads were important and often busy with work. They loved her and she knew that they were around as much as they could be and she had always been an independent child, so it didn't bother her too much. It did however mean that she had no ride to school. This meant that she would have to either take the bus or walk the twenty minutes to school. She opted for walking.

The twenty minutes it took her to walk to school meant that kids had started to show up and she wouldn't be able to put in as much time as she would have liked to practice for Glee. Rachel could see that the Cheerios were on the oval running around like crazy while Coach Sylvester yelled at them and most of the football team were practicing drills. The new football coach had started mandatory before school practice sessions to get the team in shape and hopefully they might actually win a game. Rachel decided to ditch practice all together because she could see Finn out on the oval and though it might be fun to watch for a bit. She made her way to the bleachers and sat down. She pulled out some study cards for her Spanish test that morning and pretended to read them. Really she was just watching Finn. He saw her and smiled. She gave him a quick wave and her heart began to beat just a little bit faster. While she was initially threatened that Finn played football and therefore made him an eligible bachelor to most of the Cheerios, she loved going to games and cheering him on. It wasn't long before Coach Beiste told the boys to hit the showers and Finn made his way over to Rachel.

"Hey Rach, did you come to school early just to watch me practice?" Finn was smiling as he talked and Rachel couldn't help but smile back.

"Actually, I planned on doing some Glee practice, but then I saw you and thought that I could take the morning off to watch you." Rachel tactfully left out any information about her Daddy being away for who knows how long and Dad going in to work. Finn didn't really know that they were often absent parents and Rachel preferred it that way. She didn't want any questions or anyone thinking that that were bad parents.

"Well, I've gotta go shower, but I'll see you in Spanish," Finn said. He gave Rachel a quick kiss before ducking of with the other guy.

Rachel packed up her stuff and made her way to her locker. She hated that Santana's locker was virtually next to hers. Even though they were in Glee together and tolerated each other for the sake of the team, outside of practice, Santana still despised her. She still called her every name under the sun and ordered the football guys to slushy her on a regular basis. Rachel grabbed her books for Spanish and was putting on some lip gloss when Santana breezed past with Brittany.

"Britts, what do we have here? Looks like man hands is attempting to make an effort to look like a girl today," Santana remarked snidly.

Britney laughed, but didn't really get the joke.

"Santana that joke is getting really old. You need some new material," Rachel remarked quickly. She was getting sick of Santana and her stupid remarks.

"Oh Berry, big mistake. Just because you have Finn on your arm doesn't mean you can talk back to me," Santana said. You could hear the venom in her voice, but Rachel was unprepared for what happened next.

The slushy hit her from behind, soaking through her sweater immediately. Rachel could feel the icy substance quickly make its way into her underwear and it began to drip into her eyes. She turned around to be faced by Karofsky who just laughed in her face before high fiving his football buddies.

Santana stood there laughing, but Rachel could tell that Brittany felt bad for her. She hated seeing the pity in Brittany's eyes and stormed off to the bathroom admits a hallway full of laughing students. Once she was safely inside the sanctuary of the girls bathroom she began to break down. She looked at herself in the mirror and saw a stupid little girl, who thought that she could be above all of the bullying. She tried not to let it affect her but it was. She started to cry. She hadn't brought an extra set of clothes and she had her Spansih test in ten minutes. There was not enough time to get washed up and ready for class in time and she began to panic. It happened so suddenly. One minute she was looking in the mirror and chastising herself and the next she was on the floor desperately trying to breathe. The fact that she wasn't taking much air in made her freak out even more and made the situation worse. She didn't have asthma and wasn't sure what was happening. Suddenly the bathroom door swung open and she tried to steady herself to get up but couldn't make it and fell back to the ground. She felt a hand on her back and a soothing voice telling her it was going to be ok and just to breathe. She tried to calm down and soon her hazy vision began to clear. She looked up and saw that it was Kurt. He was still rubbing her back and she noticed that he had gotten his sweater wet with the slushy that was still covering her entire body. She blinked back tears and tried to stand.

"Rach, take it easy ok. Tell me what happened,' Kurt asked gently.

"I'm not sure. I got slushied and then started freaking out because I didn't have a change of clothes and I have a test first period and I just started getting really hot and couldn't breather properly." Rachel blurted out.

"It's ok sweetie, I think you just had a panic attack, but everything is going to be fine," Kurt said reassuringly.

"What? NO. I've never had a panic attack before. It must be something else," Rachel stated defiantly. She began to question herself She didn't just have a panic attack did she? No that's impossible. She had control; she wouldn't let her emotions get the better of her.

"Rachel, I'm sure I can round up some extra clothes ok. You stay here and wash yourself up. I'll be back in a minute ok. I promise you are going to be ok." With that Kurt rushed out of the bathroom and went on a mission to procure some clothes for Rachel.

Rachel started the long process of getting the slushy out of her hair. It was mostly out and she was attempting to dry it under the hand dryer when Kurt walked in with a black skirt, a pink sweater and some black knee highs.

"You don't want to know which twelve year old I had to murder for these clothes, but you will be looking back to your old self in them," Kurt said while holding out the clothes for Rachel.

Rachel smiled and took the clothes from Kurt and he helped her change. Kurt wasn't sure why this slushy attack was different from the rest and what was going on with Rachel, but he was worried. He had never seen her break down like that before and he couldn't have Glee's resident diva going over the edge.

"Rachel, are you ok?" Kurt asked after she was dressed in her new clothes.

Rachel looked into the mirror and started applying some mascara and lip-gloss.

"I'm fine Kurt. I just freaked out you know. I didn't have extra clothes and I was embarrassed and wasn't sure what I was going to do. I'm fine now though, I promise." Rachel said the last part a bit too firmly, more so to convince herself.

"Ok, well we better hurry. Class started five minutes ago." Kurt said, taking her word that she was going to be.

"Thanks for this Kurt, I know we don't always get on but this means a lot. Also, can you not tell anyone what happened? It was a once off, I'm sure of it," Rachel said pleadingly.

""Us Diva's have to stick together and don't worry this will stay between us," Kurt said. He understood what Rachel was feeling. He had been bullied enough times to know that you don't want anyone knowing that the bullying is actually getting to you.

With that they left the bathroom and Rachel raced to Spanish class and hoped that the day would just be over soon.