Baby, I'm Yours
Dear "Baby, It's You" Fans, remember this? I know I said I wouldn't. But then I couldn't help myself. It was just...season five...and I just had too. I suppose it has been bothering me for awhile that Chibs and Claire ended on such an inconclusive note, and while this just kinda jumps back in, I think you'll find that they still have plenty to work out. It all started when I was thinking about how I never explained why Claire was so against having kids. It was something I always intended to include, but just...never found a place for. This spurred a one-shot. Which in turn spurred a whole slew of ideas, and then, when school let out for winter break I was finally able to indulge my addiction and catch up on season five. So...here's the sequel I swore I would never write. Or at least, the first bit. :) I'm not sure how long it will be yet, but I've got a whole two seasons of Chibs being Chibs to work with, so we shall see. :) As to "The Gaze and the Glance" readers, I am also working on that, so don't lose hope!
Chapter 1: Kisses and Fist-fights
It was just an average morning in Charming. Sun was shining, air was clear, and Harleys were rumbling down Main street. Claire stood at the front door to the library, a neutral expression on her face as she watched the Sons coming home. Chibs had informed her of the trip, down to Arizona, as well as some troubling news about what exactly they would be coming back with. Drugs. The thought had made her cringe inside, it still did. From the line of bikers swinging past the library, she spied Chibs, and he raised his hand slightly to her in a little wave, which she returned, smiling.
It felt a little fake.
The rumbling troop of Harleys sped on by, and Claire returned indoors, Ruth, at the desk, shaking her head at her employee a little.
"I don't understand your fascination with those fellows Claire. They're dangerous you know."
"Oh, I know, don't worry Ruth. I'm being a good girl, I promise." Claire smiled, going back to her book sorting. Good girl. The phrase hardly meant anything to her these days, she had been anything but a good girl, hell, she'd even gone on her very own gun-run. Sort of. With most of the club in jail the last year or so, the Sons of Anarchy had been very, very understaffed, and the fact of the matter was, her Jetta could carry quite a few glocks in the trunk, more than three or four bikes could. Chibs had asked her, but he hadn't been happy about it, and she had agreed, though she had been nervous as hell about it. They'd set her up with a shipment of guns hidden under seats and with the spare tire, and with Chibs and Opie riding close on her tail the whole way, she had driven north on the pretense of visiting her family; dropping the artillery off in Oakland.
It had been the scariest thing she had done in a long, long time, but also, in a weird way, exhilarating. When they had gotten to the hotel in Portland, she and Chibs had ended up having crazy, mind-blowing sex, so it hadn't been all bad. In his words, "being a bad girl suits ya" and she was inclined to believe it. Sort of.
But still, this drugs thing. It just gave her a bad feeling, and from the sounds of things, she wasn't alone. She didn't want to think about what sort of tensions it was bringing up in the Club, not when most of them had just gotten back. She supposed she would just ask Chibs about it when he got home.
They had lived together for quite awhile, nearly a year since they had settled the debacle over Fiona as a matter of fact, but it had only recently been truly 'official'. Which basically meant Chibs had moved the rest of his clothes out the dorm room. And also his gun collection. It also meant that the 'no-secrets' rule was in full force. The rules they had set for this second chance were simple; no secrets for either of them. They told each other everything, no matter how small it seemed. On the one hand, it had made them that much more intimate with each other, but on the other, it also meant Claire was involved with quite a lot more Club business than she had been before.
Her day ended uneventfully, and Claire headed out toward Red Wood Estates, passing the lots set aside for Charming Heights. She was beginning to understand, watching the land get chopped up and gutted for a subdivision, why people had stopped Red Wood Estates from getting any bigger than her house. It was kind of sickening to watch, especially when she saw the kind of people who kept turning up in Charming while the Sons were otherwise-occupied. Or maybe she was biased now that she had lived here for awhile.
Chibs strode through the door not long after her, and swept a giggling Claire up off her feet when she went to meet him, his arms around her thighs, her head bending down to kiss him warmly.
"Welcome back," She said smiling.
"Miss me?"
"Hardly. I have ways of keeping myself entertained." Claire grinned, Chibs frowning up at her in an exaggerated fashion.
"Hell woman, don't make me jealous of yer vibrator, that won't end well, I promise ya."
"Then you shouldn't have bought if for me." She smirked. At the time it had been the weirdest Christmas present she had ever received, but when Chibs had started referring to her toy as her 'back-up boyfriend' she realized it had actually been very sweet; he just hadn't really really known how else to express an apology for the fact that, with how much else he'd had to do the last fourteen months, he sometimes just didn't have the energy to sleep with her. Although, she still hadn't figured out whether he had meant it as a joke or not. "How'd the run go?" She asked when she had wriggled her way back to the ground, Chibs getting a few more kisses out of her on her way down.
"Better than the last few anyway." He kissed her forehead and patted her ass while Claire headed to the living room, where she had been watching one of her favorite Clint Eastwood movies.
"And...the coke?" She questioned a little hesitantly.
"Still don't like it." He shook his head. "And I sure as hell don't like keeping it in Charming."
"But it got voted in so it has to stay?"
"Yep. Pretty much."
She frowned, not liking it either, if only because, from the sound of things, the drugs carried significantly more risk than the guns. After watching Tara and Gemma, she didn't want to experience Chibs going to jail. The Old Ladies had all pulled together when the Club had been inside and, now that she was officially part of the exclusive club, Claire had gotten a pretty good idea of what it was like when shit went south for SAMCRO.
"Oh, I made an appointment for my tattoo."
"Didja now? Where ya gonna put it?"
"On my shoulder, like you wanted. I think it'll look cute opposite the dove."
"Wearing my crow ain't supposed to be cute sweetheart."
"Yeah, well. You want to come hold my hand?"
"When is it?"
"Tomorrow after work."
"I'll be there. We gotta get some stuff done, but I'll be back by then. Promise."
"Is that a promise you can keep?"
"Er...right now I honestly dunno sweetheart. Things have been goin' a bit...things are changin'. And shit's getting a little more outta hand then it looked in the beginning."
"It's a drug cartel. Was Clay expecting a walk in the park?"
"Hell, I dunno Claire. I really donno at this point," Chibs sighed, plopping down in the easy chair.
"Things changing seems to be the soup of the day around here lately..." Claire commented, sitting daintily on the arm of the chair next to him. Chibs snaked an arm around her waist and pulled her into his lap, setting his chin on her shoulder. "I know I don't get a vote or anything, but Chibs...I don't think this can end well. It's getting really dangerous really fast."
"Don't I know it. We got some Mexican fucker deciding what we do, and we're in a business we swore we'd never get into..." He mumbled, tucking his face into her longer hair. Despite liking her short hair as much as she had, in the end, she had decided she was getting a little old to keep the rockstar bob, and had started trying to grow it out. Shoulder-length was where it had ended. "If I told ya going through with this could set us both up for life, what would ya say?"
"I'd say come home to me safe, and I don't give a shit about the money. Besides, we'd already be set up or whatever if you'd swallow that delicate male ego of yours and let me use my trust-fund. It's not like it would go anywhere else."
"Nah. Ya keep your father's money. Ya may need it fer something."
"Like what?"
"I dunno. Case we have a kid and wanna send 'em to college or somethin'."
"I thought we decided kids weren't an option."
"Well, ya never know. Could happen."
"Chibs, I don't want kids. I never have."
"Why?" Chibs pulled his head off her shoulder and looked at her, with the one gentle look she had, at one point, never been able to decipher the meaning of.
"Just...because." Her fingers twisted together, though she knew that would be a dead giveaway to Chibs that she was evading the truth.
"Claire, honey, that isn't an answer. Ya always say that, tell me why."
"I...it's about my family. So it's kinda a long story."
"No secrets," He reminded, wrapping both his arms around her waist. Claire sighed, knowing he was right. It had never been a secret she intended to keep really, but no one had ever really asked her about it either. She sighed again, letting her fingers wind into his hair, also longer these days. She supposed he was looking for something to distract them from talking about the dark days the Club was heading too. That said, she didn't know whether talking about her sad past with her family was going to be much better subject matter.
"When...when I was with Ben, my father...he was really dead set on marrying me off and getting me out of his hair. So, after Ben and I had been together a couple months, and he hadn't, you know, given me some kinda permanent commitment, my father called me into his office. It was weird, because he never did that, but, I went anyway, figured what was the worst that could happen? He sat me down, gave me some crap about how he liked the changes I was making in my life, liked to see me settling down, and then, out of the blue, told me to stop taking birth control."
"Ah, hell, Claire..." Chibs' voice was quiet, and his arms squeezed her a little tighter.
"He told me the best way to get a proposal out of Ben was to get pregnant. And at first...well, at first I actually tried. I just wanted things to work out. Between me and Ben, me and my Father...and for awhile, I thought I was. Test came back positive and everything. And I felt like such shit. I didn't think I could love the baby, I didn't love Ben, I wasn't ready to do...do anything like that. I freaked. I stayed with a friend for a week before I worked up the courage and went to a clinic." Her voice was getting quieter the more she told him. She had never told anyone this story, never in this much detail. It was something she had been packing around for so, so long. She had almost forgotten what had happened, how much it had hurt. "I didn't know what scared me more, the idea of being pregnant with a baby I'd never wanted, that was just going to tie me to Ben when I wanted nothing more than to get away, or the idea that I might end up killing it. I guess it didn't matter though, I wasn't actually pregnant, it was just because I'd been off my pills. I was so relieved I nearly passed out. I started getting birth control from Planned Parenthood, hiding it from my father and Ben. And I just kept lying that we were trying."
"Sometimes I wish that asshole was still alive so I could kick the shit outta him," Chibs muttered, reaching up one hand to wrap her in a better hug. "That's some seriously fucked-up shit sweetheart."
"Trust me, I know. That's when things went really sour between me and Ben. Even when I was on my pills again I was so paranoid that all he wanted to do was knock me up I wouldn't let him touch me for weeks. I guess I figured out that I'd never really wanted him too in the first place. That probably worked out for the better though."
"Now that asshole I can go kick the shit out of. Ya want me and Hap' to go put the fear of God in the fucker?"
"Jesus Chibs, Happy would probably castrate him just for shits and giggles." For some reason, or maybe she was morbid, the idea made her laugh. Probably just because Ben had always had a bit of hubris in the size of his dick -never mind the fact he thought size made up for being a pretty bad lay- and the idea of him losing his pride and joy was deeply satisfying. Picturing Ben's face if Happy and Chibs did ever show up on his doorstep made her laugh a little louder.
"Is that a yes then?" He asked, quirking his mouth up at her a little.
"No, it's not. I may hate Ben, but I don't want him ending up dead in a ditch somewhere. I just want to keep him out of my life."
"That makes two of us." Chibs kissed her collar-bone lightly, mostly, she supposed, because that was the most readily-available part of her to kiss while she was still sprawled in his lap. "Look, Claire, I just want ya to know that wearing a crow is serious shit, but it's not supposed to tie ya down. Not like that. I don't want ya to ever think I'm trying to control ya like that. I just fuckin' love ya."
Claire felt her lips curling in another smile. The ever-eloquent Chibs. "I love you too. And I said I wanted the tattoo remember? You asked, I said yes, simple as that." She curled her arms around his shoulders, tucking her head against his. "The sad part is that sometimes I wonder if maybe I do want a baby. When I look at Tara sometimes...it just kinda makes me wonder what it's like. What that love feels like." This admission was even quieter than the first one. "But then I get scared again."
"If ya ever wanted it sweetheart, yu'd be a damn good mother. Dunno what kinda dad I'd be though. I wasn't around to do much raising for Kerrianne, don't think I'd be much good for it honestly."
"I just...did you ever think it was because I didn't want to have kids with you or something? Because it was never that. I was just so used to being...I dunno, paranoid about getting pregnant. I never even thought about how that would look to you."
Chibs shrugged. "I dunno. I guess I wondered a couple times, mostly I figured I didn't really strike ya as the father type. 'Sides, I'm getting a little old fer kids of my own."
"You're not that old, Chibs. Anyway, with age comes experience, and I'll take experience any day."
"Flattery isn't gonna get ya anywhere but the bedroom sweetheart."
"Funny, I'm pretty sure that's where I was trying to go." She slid off his lap to sashay her way to the hallway, Chibs promptly giving chase with a slight growl in his throat.
"Then don't ya dare make me chase yer pretty tail all over the house."
Claire smiled, picking up the pace a little. Oh, he'd have to chase her alright, but she also definitely planned to let him catch her. Naked. Sprawled out in bed. Waiting for him, just like she planned to be every time he came home from a long ride.
It felt good to have her story out on the table. And it felt good to know that Chibs had understood, even if his solution was to take his ruthless-killer of a friend Happy up to Oregon and introduce him to her ex-fiance. Her solution was simpler; they would just keep on going the way they had been. While it had never been a big debate between them, Chibs had been bringing up kids a lot the last few months, and she had been beginning to suspect that maybe, just maybe, he was looking into the two of them having a family, because he too had been watching out for Tara and helping out with Jax's boys. The idea, as it always had, had filled her with dread, but she hadn't been so scared of the thought, like she had been with Ben. She figured if she could willingly have a baby with anyone, it would be Chibs, because she loved him. It seemed now however that he had merely been curious, and was also perfectly content with the way things were between them.
Worked out well for the both of them.
Sunlight beating on his face woke Chibs the next morning. You'd think, after all the mornings he had woken up in this bed, he would have learned to close the bloody curtains before the sun started rising the next day. He could get up and close them now, but, it was early and he was tired, and Claire was keeping him nice and warm. She had her back to him, but she was pressed against his side, her head leaning back against his shoulder slightly.
It was weird to think he had seen her grow up since she had come to Charming. Maybe coming out of her shell was the better way to put it. Shy, quiet, reserved little Claire was ever getting more and more comfortable in her own skin.
He suspected a lot of it had to do with the fact she had found her place to belong. With the Sons of Anarchy. At one point the thought would have made him frown, it still did a little bit, considering the kind of trouble they were getting into these days, but it seemed as though she had always been meant to belong here. She had gotten close with many of the Sons, as while most of the club had been in jail she had been a main line of communication to the outside world. She was, after all, a little less suspicious than he or Opie or Kozik, so she had carried quite a few messages between the Sons; naturally it had made them all a little closer, a little more family.
And then there was the part where she had saved not just his ass, but the collective asses of everyone in the California charter, even Happy had sent regards for brave little Claire's mission up to Oakland. The Oregon charter had been more than willing to help, but they had all known the Niners were unlikely to do business with anyone they were unfamiliar with. He hoped he lived long enough to show her how much that one gesture of love, of bravery, had meant to him. Oh yes, his little minx was turning into a hell of an Old Lady. That said, as much as he wanted to get down on his knees and thank her for being the woman she was, he also hoped he could prevent her from committing any more felonies.
A deep breath and a wiggle of her lovely arse informed him that she was waking up, rolling around a little to latch an arm around him sleepily. "Morning..." Her voice tickled his ear.
"Morning lovely."
"You're up kinda early. You sleep okay?"
"I'm just awake, not up yet."
"I could fix that."
He smirked, remembering once, not long ago, there had been a time that Claire hadn't been able to make an even slightly lewd suggestion without flushing crimson. Maybe it was just because she was still half-asleep, but she wasn't blushing at the moment. Just smiling a little content, sleepy smile.
"Much as I'd love to take ya up on that, and ya know I would, I gotta head out to the warehouse." She made a less-than happy face in response, but he suspected it had less to do with the fact he was saying no to sex, and more to do with the fact she knew what was in the warehouse. "It only has to stay for a few days. Till they pick it up."
"So now Cartels are going to be coming to Charming? Lovely." She set her chin on his arm, making a face that was something akin to pouting. "Does it bug you?"
"A whole helluva lot. But we're in too far to say no now." Chibs shook his head. It had been hard enough keeping the Irish happy so they wouldn't shoot up Charming, he didn't even want to imagine how hard it was going to be to keep Cartels happy. Seeing as Cartels were mostly famous for dirty business and shooting up small towns not unlike Charming. Still, both Clay and Jax had been behind this, and they seemed to think they knew what the hell they were doing. Didn't mean he was going to forget his contingency plan of sending her as far away as he could get her though. Which, of course, really hinged on whether she would go or not.
"I know. It just makes me really uncomfortable. Drugs make people do bad shit, and...and if they start bringing their business here-"
"No drugs are staying in Charming." Chibs cut her off. "We just move 'em, but we're sure as shit not gonna start selling them, or letting anyone else sell them here for that matter."
"Okay. That's all I wanted to know. Anyway, I should probably be getting ready to go too." She wiggled backwards off the edge of the mattress and started towards the bathroom, Chibs not far behind her.
As crazy as things managed to get on the outside, here, home, Chibs could make sense of things. He could moralize all he wanted with the Club, but it was usually Claire's presence that made him decide what was right. And muling blow around for the Mexican equivalent of the mob didn't feel right. Until they figured out the best way to get back out of it however, he was just going to have to be careful.
Two days later, Claire was sitting at the table, drinking a glass of wine and, despite herself, worrying. Chibs had warned her he wouldn't be back until late, but it always made her anxious when she went to bed alone. She supposed some part of her was paranoid she would sleep right through something bad happening to him; when he had nearly been blown to bits a couple years ago she hadn't even realized until Jax had told her. Of course, considering the fact a second Cartel had invaded Charming and attempted to gun down the entirety of SAMCRO, she figured she was justified in being paranoid. She'd been able to hear the gun fire fairly clearly at the library, and much to Ruth's bemusement, Claire had begged to be allowed to go check on Teller-Morrow. Predicting the inevitable freak-out, Chibs had called not long after the sounds of guns had died down, and managed to assure they were all fine and console her back to being more-or-less reasonable. Still, the scare had left an uneasy, nauseous feeling in the pit of her stomach for the remainder of the day.
Claire reached back, gently touching the sensitive skin around her brand-new crow, sitting pristine on her left shoulder. Chibs had never made it to her appointment, but she, Tara, Lyla, and Gemma had made a day out of it. Claire went to get her tattoo, Gemma going along to provide the design and moral support which Claire hadn't needed, and after that they had all gone to a little dinner, swapping gossip -especially that which pertained to their specific men of SAMCRO- and spent a bit of time shopping and sharing company. It had been a nice day of normalcy for them all, until, of course, the shooting had occurred. Then everything had gone to hell again. Still, Chibs had shown plenty of appreciation when he finally did make it home later; she supposed she ought to be grateful for the couple of hours her skin had to heal, because Chibs' version of a celebration had involved a lot of rigorous activity in various locations and positions between the door and the bed. Thinking this, Claire rose from the table and headed to the bathroom, intending to fetch her tattoo ointment, realizing it had been a few hours since the last time she treated it.
She never made it to the bathroom however, because she was distracted when a car sounded in the driveway, but it definitely wasn't the Harley she had been expecting to hear. Cautiously, Claire headed to the front door, peeking out of the window and saw a familiar black van in the drive way. The van was from Teller-Morrow, so maybe Chibs had just wrecked or something? Not likely, but she wasn't willing to think of anything worse than that at the moment. She pulled the door open, and found an utterly miserable looking Juice on her doorstep, Chibs right behind him.
"What happened?" She looked between the two of them, Chibs just shook his head, but Juice blurted:
"I did something stupid," Before shutting his mouth and looking caught somewhere between shame and utter misery, staring hard at the floor.
"What?" Claire looked at Chibs again, who gave a vague indication towards the younger man's neck. She reached a tentative hand out to Juice's collar, and she didn't have to pull it very far to see the bruise underneath. "Jesus, Juice, what happened?"
"I..."He started, but didn't finish, and Claire decided she wasn't going to push him any farther. She glanced at Chibs yet again, silently asking for an explanation.
"I think he's gonna stay with us a coupla days."
"Sure. Of course." She turned back into the house, Juice following her the way a sleepy child followed a parent, and she sat him on the couch, walking into the kitchen, thinking, for some reason, that a snack would make him feel better. Chibs followed her.
"Chibs what the hell did he do?"
"He tried to off himself." The words were deceptively nonchalant, but his face was grim and his eyes looked a little haunted. Clearly, he was more shaken than he was letting on.
"Kill himself? Why?" She demanded in a low voice while Chibs dug into the liquor cabinet. "You're not seriously going to give him alcohol are you? That's not going to help."
"Who said it was fer Juice?" Chibs replied, unscrewing the cap of the whiskey he had finally picked and taking a swig. "And no. He didn't tell me why. But I can guess." She cast him a glance which asked him to continue. "We got brothers killin' brothers. Miles, the guy who died, Juice shot him. He was trying to steal the coke."
"Why is it everything bad seems to be revolving around these goddamn drugs?" Claire hissed, more to herself than Chibs. Really, she supposed they both knew the answer anyway. But still, Juice? Juice had always been so happy...of all the people in the world, he would have been one of the last she would peg as suicidal. Then again, killing someone...she didn't think he had killed anyone before either. It had to have messed him up a little.
"Claire," Chibs' hand on her arm dragged her out of her thoughts, "-we can't let anyone else find out about this."
"But...Chibs, for Christ's sake, he tried to kill himself. We have to tell someone, like, a psychologist or something. He needs help."
"We can't tell anyone," He reiterated firmly. "If the Club finds out they're gonna vote him out. And that sure as shit ain't gonna make it better. We just need to give him a couple days so he can find his way."
"And what if finding his way involves a less obvious way to kill himself?" She questioned, rather vehemently. Juice made an obvious cry for help, and what would the Sons do? Vote him out of the goddamn club so he could feel even more lost, even more helpless. Chibs didn't flinch under her tone.
"That's why he's here. I'm gonna keep an eye on him until I can talk to Jax about it. I just...need yer help." He looked at her solemnly. "He'll probably talk to ya. Yer not one of us so..."
"So I can't vote him out."
"Basically, yeah. And yer just...yer a lot gentler than I could ever be. I think he needs that more than anything else."
"I don't know if just being gentle is going to fix this..." Claire said quietly, remembering she had been thinking to find Juice some food and returned to scavenging in the fridge.
"Yer probably right, but I dunno what else to do for him. Not until I talk to Jax and make sure he's not gonna get abandoned in the middle of this shite-storm."
She glanced at him over her shoulder, having a hard time deciding what his tone meant. He was genuinely concerned, that much she could tell, but he also seemed extremely irritated; at what, she wasn't sure. Because Juice had tried to hurt himself? Because the Sons would vote him out for it? Or simply because Chibs hadn't been able to fix it himself?
"It's late," Claire said quietly, finally deciding to offer Juice the chocolate mini-muffins she had bought for comfort food, and starting some coffee for him, and possibly herself, "-get some rest Chibs. You look like you need it almost as bad as Juice does. Don't worry, I'll take care of him."
Chibs was quiet for a moment, then leaned over and kissed her hard, the whiskey on his lips burning on hers. "I dunno what the hell I'd do without ya lovely," He muttered, kissing her again to punctuate the sentence, more gently this time.
"You'd probably scare Juice," She said with as much a smile as she could muster. "I'll keep an eye on him for tonight. Call in sick tomorrow or something."
Chibs wandered back towards their room, and Claire headed back into the living room, offering Juice a muffin and sitting next to him.
"You want to talk about it?" Juice shook his head. "You want a hug? I give pretty good hugs." Juice started to shake his head, then changed his mind and nodded instead. He leaned over towards her, his head landing on her shoulder. Claire wrapped her arms around his shoulders, and waited for him to be ready to talk, knowing that pushing him would only make him pull away.
He stayed like that for awhile, mumbling occasionally, though it was nothing beyond muttering about feeling stupid, and wishing he'd never done 'it'. He never clarified whatever the 'it' was. Chibs wandered through the living room a couple times, but each time Claire shook her head at him, hoping to communicate that Juice didn't seem to be improving any. After awhile, she heard him stop wandering, and he seemed to have gone to bed.
At around four in the morning, the light snore coming from Juice told her he'd finally just fallen asleep, and she hadn't the faintest clue if anything had changed. He'd probably wake up tomorrow feeling just as suicidal. Juice needed help, more than just a shoulder to lean on, more than her trying to be his mother figure. But if Chibs was right, if telling anyone else was just going to get him voted out of SAMCRO, she didn't really want to risk signing him up for therapy or anything. She moved him toward the couch pillow, getting him down to jeans and t-shirt, and found him a blanket before taking her own sleepy-self to bed.
Chibs was sprawled out on his side on top of the blankets with the light still on, and still dressed except for his cut which was tossed at the foot of the bed and his shoes on the floor. The whiskey was almost gone, the bottle sitting on the bedside table.
Too tired to care much, Claire stripped down to her underwear and pulled a tank-top on, crawling into bed and curling up next to him, settling her head on his chest, her arm hooking around his middle. He stirred sleepily, his arm curling up around her shoulders.
"'Ey sweetheart..." He slurred quietly at her.
"Hey."
"Anythin'?"
"He didn't want to talk about it." She shook her head, rubbing her cheek on his chest. "He just fell asleep on me. He's in serious trouble Chibs, something has to change for him"
"I know lovely, I know."
"I know you can't go against the club Filip, but...please, just keep him safe, okay?"
"Y'know I will. Get some sleep sweetheart." He leaned his head over to plant a kiss on her forehead, already dozing again from the look of things. Claire wasn't sure she could get any sleep, considering the situation; she'd probably be up all night now, listening for any signs of Juice endangering himself.
He didn't end up staying. Chibs had meticulously tucked the blanket up around her neck to keep her warm after he had gotten up, and she could hear him in the kitchen, making more coffee from the sounds of it. She showered quickly and dressed, heading to the kitchen herself.
"Juice left?"
"Aye. Musta been pretty early. I didn't hear him." Chibs shook his head. "He took the truck."
"You want to take the Jetta?" He made a face, which she returned. "What's wrong with my car?"
"It's a fuckin' girl car."
"Hey, lots of guys drive Volkswagens Chibs."
"Yeah, well, not this guy."
She smirked, pouring herself some coffee, and picking up Juices' untouched muffin for breakfast. "Well, if it will save your poor pride, I can give you a lift so you don't have to be seen driving a chick car. I kinda planned to go to work today anyway, I'll only be a few minutes late if we leave soon."
"Didja sleep at all?" His expression was slightly concerned. She wondered if she had circles under her eyes or something.
"A little. But if I just sit here by myself all day I'll worry about you and Juice and...well, everybody I guess. At least at the library I can stay busy." The expression shifted now from concern to something more like empathy. He reached over and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her against his side.
"This is gonna get better Claire."
"I hope so. Be careful today, okay? Yesterday scared the shit out of me, and I'm worried about Juice, and-"
"And yer handling it like a champ sweetheart." He interrupted her gently. "Yer a hell of an Old Lady."
"Y'know, the weird thing this is I'm pretty sure most women my age would find it insulting to be called an Old Lady."
"Yeah, they dunno what they're missing out on." Chibs smiled and laid a kiss against her temple.
"Suppose they don't." Claire smiled, though she felt it probably looked a little forced. She turned her head up and kissed him lightly. "Let's go, I don't want to show up too late, or Ruth will think I'm up to no good."
"I'm pretty sure she knows we're always up to no good."
Claire didn't like the look of things when she finally pulled into the Teller-Morrow lot to drop Chibs off. She felt like tension had been leaking off the place ever since the rest of the Club had come home and started this ridiculous circus with the Cartel. Chibs leaned across the center console and placed a kiss on her cheek.
"Thanks for the ride lovely."
"No problem." She gave a small smile. "Any idea what time you'll be home?"
"At a normal time, God willing," Chibs grumbled, somewhat more serious looking than his tone.
"Okay," Claire agreed, somewhat forlornly. It wasn't really a definitive answer, and she knew, whether she could help it or not, she would probably end up trying to wait up for him again. She silently wondered if she had always been such a worry-wart, or if this was a recent development spurred by how many disasters had been buffeting the Sons of Anarchy since their release from County. As usual, she found herself wondering how in the world Gemma dealt with everything so calmly. Claire, though she was most definitely attached to the other members of the Club, was naturally most concerned with Chibs' safety, while Gemma had both her son and her husband to worry about. Not to mention she was more or less the matriarch of the entire Club. How could she stand it? And how in hell had it not driven her insane yet?
"We'll be okay Claire," Chibs said, catching her somber expression. "Juice'll be fine. I'll look after him."
"I know. It's just...Juice isn't the only one I'm worried about."
"I'm gonna be fine too."
"Can't blame me for worrying..."
"Guess not," Chibs agreed, frowning.
"Look, Filip, all I want to know is if this is going to end. I mean, Juice seriously tried to kill himself, and...and people tried to kill all of you the other day. That's a big deal. A huge deal. And I...I don't want things to be like this forever. I don't know if I can live with Charming going to pieces around my ears. And just so you know this isn't me threatening to leave if things don't change or something like that, this is just me asking if this will end or if I need to start taking some tough lessons from Gemma." Claire took a breath at the end of her ramble. One of the things that had always been true between herself and Chibs was that whenever she tried to tell him anything, she usually ended up telling him everything. And usually in a rather extended, convoluted jumble. And he had always told her he appreciated the honesty.
"Yer plenty tough sweetheart."
"Then why am I sitting here freaking out?" Claire questioned. Not that she actually expected him to have an answer or anything.
Chibs raised an eyebrow. "This is ya freaking out? I don't think ya know the meanin' of the term sweetheart."
"Well, not all women get hysterical and start screaming. Some of us are actually a little calm."
Chibs' mouth was twitching slightly, he was trying very hard not to smile at her. Claire shot him the best glare she could muster; which wasn't very scary, or so she had been told.
"Yer a doll sweetheart," Chibs said, grabbing her gently by the back of the neck and kissing her, "-and yer damn cute when you try to look mean."
"In other words I fail miserably at it."
"Yeah basically."
"Asshole." Again, Chibs just smiled at her. "Filip, I'm serious. Is this how things are always going to be?"
"I can't answer that yet lovely." Claire sighed, her fingers curling over his wrist behind her head.
"I guess that's as good as I was expecting, given the state of things." She gave his hand a little tug, pulling it off her neck and kissing his fingers lightly. "I'm going to be late."
"Alright." He agreed with a nod, understanding, she assumed, that this wouldn't come up again until he could give her some real answers. "If I'm not back when ya go to bed, make sure ya lock the doors."
She scoffed at him slightly, smiling for a change. "And to think you used to make fun of me for having three dead bolts."
"Well, that was then-"
"And this is now. So get your ass out of my car and let me go to work, okay sweetie?"
Chibs rewarded her sass with a laugh and another kiss, his calloused fingers sneaking under her shirt for a quick grope which ended when Tig approached and started knocking on the passenger window with mock-impatience.
"Either get a room or let me join in," Tig declared when Chibs opened the door.
"Sorry Tiggy, I'm still off-limits," Claire replied, smiling a little. After Happy, Tig was probably the Son Claire had the hardest time figuring out. For one, he always called her 'Princess' and she had no idea why, she didn't think she had heard him use her actual name in nearly a year. Two, he liked to -in his words- "keep Chibs on his toes" by shamelessly propositioning her whenever the opportunity presented itself. He had even, not all that long ago, laid quite the kiss on her, though no one but her had seemed to think much of it. Even Chibs had been standing next to her and hadn't seemed all that bothered. Tig had explained it as being a thank you for for her adventure into Oakland, and she had let it go at that. She had decided, eventually, that Tig was just expressing the fact he was fond of her, and simply had issues separating affection from lust. As long as it never went further than a kiss here and there, she wasn't inclined to mind his occasional lewd suggestions. Unless they started bothering Chibs, and then she suspected she would probably have a hot mess on her hands. If they didn't go straight to fisticuffs to settle it of their own accord.
Cross that bridge when you come to it, She told herself silently. After all, Tig knows plenty of women who would actually listen to those suggestions. She waved at the both of them as she left the Teller-Morrow lot, Chibs waved back, and Tig blew her a very exaggerated kiss, getting a punch in the arm from Chibs in response. Claire laughed to herself, wondering if one or both of them had been able to read her musings on her face.
She grew sober again when she passed Juice pulling into the lot, and was reminded, again, that things weren't so simple as kisses and fist-fights anymore.
Her somber attitude stayed with her all the way to the library, and she gathered from Ruth's stern expression that her tardiness wasn't going to go unnoticed.
"Sorry, uhm...long night." Claire offered lamely.
"And I suppose you'll tell me it has nothing to do with that boyfriend of yours."
Chibs had always been "that boyfriend" to Ruth, because, simply put, Claire knew Ruth wouldn't like him. Didn't like him, considering the way she glared whenever Chibs showed up to visit Claire, usually under the pretense of looking up the most ridiculous book he could think of. The latest example being And the Hippos were boiled in Their Tanks. Burroughs and Kerouac, go figure. She honestly had no idea where Chibs found some of the shit he pretended to be looking for, so far they had all been equally as obscure and strange. Or why he pretended to be looking for a book in the first place, since he had never bothered to leave with one. She was honestly actually a little surprised that Ruth hadn't yet put two and two together.
"No," Claire gave in answer to Ruth's question. "Family stuff."
Ruth frowned, but sympathetically. She didn't know a lot of details about Claire's life, obviously, but she knew Claire didn't get along with what little biological family she had left these days. "They still want you to leave Charming?"
"No, I think they gave up on that. Things have just been a little...ehm...hectic." Claire felt her face scrunch up slightly. Hectic was an understatement.
Ruth let this pass silently as Claire placed her things under the desk in their usual spots. "Claire, you know I think you're a very sweet girl," She said abruptly, "-so I want you to know you can trust me. You can tell me what's really bothering you."
Claire blinked at her in mild surprise. Sometimes she forgot Ruth's bad eye-sight didn't mean she wasn't observant. Still, she didn't feel like getting into the details. "I'm okay Ruth, really."
The older woman however, wasn't about to let it go. "It's that guy, isn't it?"
"Guy?"
"The Sons of Anarchy one who's always showing up here. It's him, isn't it? Is he harassing you? Just because he's in that awful club doesn't mean you have to put up with him. You can call the police, the new sheriff isn't going to let them run this town the way Unser did."
Now, Claire could only stare, aghast, her mouth slightly open. Did Ruth seriously believe that? Seriously? No wonder she had never caught on to the two of them sneaking off together, she was clearly preoccupied with thinking Chibs was somehow a threat to Claire. She shook her head.
"No, Ruth, it has nothing to do with him. He's actually very nice if you talk to him."
"I'm sure." She scoffed in response, and Claire chose to drop it at that. Though she was starting to think it may have worked out in her favor that she had never divulged much personal information to Ruth.
