Disclaimer: Not mine... sob...
Hermione sat with her friends and family at one of the larger tables that sat in the Great Hall looking around with a bittersweet smile. Graduation had finished a while ago and now the families of all the seventh years and professors were having a ball to celebrate not only the end of their seven year stay but the anniversary of Voldemort's defeat. On her left sat her new boyfriend Harry and on her right their best friend Ron. Harry confessed to having feelings for her a month ago and in her heartbroken state she had accepted to be his girlfriend but now she really wished she hadn't. She shook her head of the thoughts and memories that lead up to Harry finding her crying by the lake and confessing his love for her. The Leaving feast was sad and painful enough without dragging up memories of him.
However that was just the problem, he should be the one with his arm on her shoulders talking to her parents like they had talked about so many times but he wasn't. the last time they had talked-argued was more like it-they had left thing between them on bad terms and she didn't want to leave Hogwarts without at least telling him how much he meant to her. Honestly she wasn't even sure what they had fought over that had made her storm from his rooms that night and hated how now he wouldn't even acknowledge her at all except to take points from her and Harry. It didn't matter how horrible he was to her now though, she still loved him and she wanted to be with him right now. It didn't matter that he was almost 20 years her senior and complete and total git sometimes or that all her friends hated him or even that he was now her former professor because she needed him.
Not to say that Harry wasn't perfect because he was. he was always a gentleman to her, helping her with her things, always waiting in the halls for her and right now he was getting along perfectly with her family. Her mom looked like she was already to make him her son-in-law and her dad was looked impressed with Harry. And she did love Harry, just not the way she should considering Ginny told her that Harry wanted to propose this summer.
She looked to the head table telling herself that she wasn't looking for him but who was she kidding. She found him sitting at the end of the table staring into what she figured was a glass of fire whiskey. His dark hair that she knew was actually feather soft and shiny instead of greasy was falling in his face as if trying to block out the world and she knew that right now his dark eyes probably had that cold bottomless look to them that before she would climb into his lap and run her hands through his hair and lightly kiss his neck until it went away. Yes, Hermione Granger was in love with Severus Snape himself and they had been together since the beginning of her sixth year until more than a month ago.
"Come on let's go dance." Harry offered getting her attention back.
"I don't know Harry, I'm kind of tired." She tried brushing him off only to have her parents get her to go. They headed to the dance floor and out of the corner of her eye she saw Severus look up and immediately felt his eyes on her. Harry took her hand and held her waist as he led her around the dance floor. When he turned her around she locked eyes with Severus and saw something flicker behind their black depths but just as quickly he had hidden it way and raised his eyebrow trying to sneer but she saw that it was a poor attempt. She could tell he still had feelings for her but that he wouldn't do anything not only because of Harry but because they were both too stubborn and hard headed to apologize first.
"You still love him, don't you?" harry asked her softly and she jerked her eyes back to him shocked.
"What?"
"Snape, I know you two were together before and I figured that you two must have fought or something and that's why you were at the lake crying."
"When did you find out?" she wondered why he seemed so calm.
"About a week ago when Ron and I were practicing Occlumency and Legilimens. You fell asleep and the next thing I know I'm in your head watching memories of you two together and then I guess the fight you had before I found you by the lake. I tried to get out but I couldn't bring myself to. I know it was wrong and I hope you can forgive me." He told her looking into her eyes and she could tell he was sorry and a little hurt that she still had feelings for Severus.
"I'm the one that should be sorry Harry," Hermione whispered, "I've lead you on and I'm so sorry but your right, I do still love him but he won't have anything to do with me now." She laid her head on his chest.
"Because of me?" she nodded her head yes and closed her eyes against the tears that were about to fall. "Hermione, I'll always be here for you and you'll always be my best friend, but maybe that's all we should be."
She looked up at him. "No Harry I really am sorry and I'm sure I could love you in time…" he cut her off by placing a finger against her lips.
"I'm sure you could to, but you don't want to and I love you enough to want you to be happy even if it's not with me. We'll still be close friends I promise but I know I can't make you happy the way he could and oddly enough I'll be okay."
She looked up at him with tears in her eyes. "Thank you Harry."
"If I can ask…what did you guys fight about."
Hermione's eyes flared with annoyance and exasperation. "Honestly I don't even know anymore. At first I think he was jealous that I was spending so much time with you and Ron then he got quiet and he said that I was too young to waste my life on him and that I should leave."
Harry snorted, "Doesn't he know once you make up your mind about something or someone there's no changing it."
She smiled slightly, "I thought he did. He said I was a just a naïve little know it all, a child. So I turned around and told him that the way he hid behind his past to keep from getting close to everyone was pathetic and that I didn't care about his past because I loved him for who he is. by then we were both yelling and when he said that I never really knew anything about him and I should run back to my little friends that I obviously cared more about I told him I hated him and ran out… and well… you know the rest.
"Wow. I knew you both were stubborn but still."
"I know, and what's more… there's nothing I can do… he won't have anything to do with me anymore."
He kissed her forehead and twirled her one more time before letting her go in the direction of the head table.
"Go talk to him, you'll never know until you try. I'll be right here if you need me." Harry headed back to the table and she turned to find Severus still watching her like she knew he was.
Where's that Gryffindor courage when you need it Granger, she asked herself taking a deep breath and heading toward the head table and her love.
He stared at her the whole time she walked to him, his glare warning her off and she matched his glare with her own determined look.
"Hello Severus." She whispered when she got to him.
"Ms. Granger," he said stiffly and formally, "shouldn't you be with you latest boy-toy Potter?" he asked with malice and she inwardly flinched.
"We decided we'd be better as friends seeing as how I can't love him. Severus please, I'm s-"
"Don't! I don't want to hear your pathetic apologies Ms. Granger." He hissed. "You made your feelings for me quite clear during our last discussion."
She crossed her arms over her chest and looked around to find they were alone on this end of the table. "We both said things that hurt the other Severus. I was upset I didn't mean what I said. Please can we go talk about this like adults?" He sneered haughtily at her and stood so he towered over her unfortunately this tactic had ceased to bother Hermione and she stepped closer to him as a challenge. She saw the indecision flicker in his eyes as he looked her over and she knew he still cared about her he just wouldn't trust himself of her to try again. "I still love you Severus Snape, and I always will." She whispered lightly taking his hand. For a moment she thought he would take her in his arms again but then he pulled away from her.
"Congratulations on your graduation Ms Granger." And he swept off.
She stared at his retreating back willing the tears not to fall too surprised to do anything but stand there.
"Don't worry Ms Granger; he won't be leaving the Great Hall. I charmed the doors locked before he stomped off like a child. I do like the idea of an open microphone don't you?" Dumbledore said with a twinkle in his eye before he too moved off.
Now what did she do? If he didn't want to sit and listen to her then she could make him or could she? She looked toward the stage that was set up off to the side where a seventh year Ravenclaw was walking off after singing some song and Hermione suddenly decided she wanted to sing something and made her way up to the mike that stood center stage.
No one but her family and friends noticed her standing there until she cleared her throat and spoke into the mike.
"Excuse me, can I have everyone's attention?" slowly the laughter and talking slowed down to whispers and everyone looked at her expectantly wandering what their head girl was up to. She looked over the Great Hall and saw Severus watching her with a curios look on his face. Besides Harry and Ron he had been the only one at Hogwarts who knew she was a very talented singer and tried to talk her into singing in the Christmas talent show Dumbledore had but she was too nervous to sing in front of everyone. Until she remembered that Severus usually stopped whatever he was doing to listen whenever she happened to sing when he was near.
"I want to sing one of my favorite songs for someone who means so much to me. We both hurt each other and are too stubborn to make the first step to apologize but I'm hoping that with this song he'll see how much I really do love him, how sorry I am for all that I said and how much I miss him." She waved her wand at the sound system and Taylor Swifts "The way I loved you" came on.
He is sensible and so incredible
And all my single friends are jealous.
He says everything I need to hear
And it's like I couldn't ask for anything better.
He opens up my door and
I get into his car and he says
you look beautiful tonight.
And I feel perfectly fine.
[Chorus:]
But I miss screamin' and fightin' and kissin' in the rain
and its 2am and I'm cursin' your name.
You're so in love that you act insane
and that's the way I loved you.
Breakin' down and comin' undone
it's a roller coaster kinda rush.
And I never knew I could feel that much.
And that's the way I loved you.
He respects my space
And never makes me wait
And he calls exactly when he says he will.
He's close to my mother
Talks business with my father.
He's charming and endearing
And I'm comfortable.
But I miss screamin' and fightin' and kissin' in the rain
And it's 2am and I'm cursin' your name.
You're so in love that you act insane
And that's the way I loved you.
Breakin' down and comin' undone
It's a roller coaster kinda rush.
And I never knew I could feel that much.
And that's the way I loved you.
He can't see the smile I'm fakin'.
And my hearts not breakin'
Cause I'm not feelin' anything at all.
And you were wild and crazy.
Just so frustrating, intoxicating, complicated,
got away like some mistake.
And now I,
I miss screamin', and fightin', and kissin' in the rain
it's 2am and I'm cursin' your name.
I'm so in love that I acted insane.
And that's the way I loved you.
Breakin' down and comin' undone
it's a roller coaster kinda rush.
And I never knew I could feel that much.
And that's the way I loved you.
And that's the way I loved you.
Never knew I could feel that much.
And that's the way I loved you.
When she finished she took one more look at Severus before she walked offstage to find Harry and Ginny waiting for as they were the only two who knew who the song was meant for.
"Are you okay?" Ginny asked her as she pulled Hermione into a hug when she saw the tears in her eyes.
"He'd be an idiot to turn you down Hermione."
"Now that we've made your dunderheaded opinions on my intellect quite clear may I have a word with Ms Granger?" she looked up from Ginny's shoulder to find him standing behind her two friends giving her the softest look she'd seen from him in more than a month.
They both looked at her and she nodded her head. "Go on, I'll be okay." Risking one more look at Snape they walked off to their table and Severus and Hermione simply stared at each other for a moment.
Slowly he raised his hand to cup her cheek and brushed her tears away with his thumb. "I was an idiot to question you love for me Hermione, but… this is all so new to me and you deserve much better that I can offer you."
She grabbed a hold of his free hand and held it in both of hers. "But I don't want better Severus; I want you… only you. Please don't turn me away." A fresh wave of tears fell down her face and suddenly he had wrapped his arms around her and pulled her flush against him as he kissed the top of her head.
"Shh, I love you Hermione and I'm never going to let you go again. I can't promise you a happily ever after… but I can promise you that I will do my best by you."
"Just love me Severus, that's all I ask." She smiled up at him as he smiled and lowered his lips to hers in a tender kiss that promised forgiveness and love.
AN: Aww... okay well this is my first fan fic so yeah i'm sure there's plenty wrong but hey reviews can only help...
