Bella had a shit day
I am writing this fanfiction for my friend. She is really insane. Im sorry for any bad language as she is quite insasne. I sit beside her in maths and irish so yeah. Dont forget to read and review.:)
Ps sorry for any cullen bashing. Its just a funny oneshot.
One day edward was scratching his arse when he accidentally farted and shat on his hand. Edward panicked and didnt know what to do so he ran into the bedroom where Bella was laying down.
Edward ran up to her and rubbed the shit on her face.
Bella:edward what are you doing?
Edward:Bella you're talking shit!
Bella:did you just rub shit all over my face?
Edward:no bella this is way more serious. Dont be scared but...
Bella: But what edward?
Edward:you lickmybum disease.
Bella: Haha very funny.
Edward: I'm being serious. In 24 hours, you will turn into a bum.
Bella: i saw you rub it all over my face.
Edward: shh you dont have long left to live so lets go on a little trip.
Edward chained bella to the back of his car as he was afraid the smell of shit would stink up his car.
EDWARD! Screamed bella as she was being swung back and forth from the speed his car was going at.
Edward: shh bella be quiet. Its the shit talking.
Bella: Grr im not happy.
Edward: well anyone else who who has shit flowing out of their mouths wouldn't be too hhappy either.
They stopped beside the river liffey and looked in.
Edward: Bella do you know what would make this trip funny?
Bella: what?
Edward pushed bella into the river and he laughed. But bella didn't. The mermaids rose up from the water and the trolls from under the bridge went over and they ate her.
The sun came out and edward started to sparkle. He turned into tinkerbell and flew away with carlisle and they got happily married. Esme fell down a well.
THE END
